i think I'M the neighbour from hell

[mummysgoingmad]

we moved into our flat last June. It is perfect for us our own little garden, in a quiet street and nice enough neighbours

My ds is 2, i have had concerns for sometime about some behaviour he has, autism has been flagged up recently and we are now waiting for him to be assessed. His repetitive running is very noisy and it is something i am trying to stop him doing in the home. He runs from one end of the flat to another and i appreciate its very noisy it doesn't help that we have wooden flooring throughout the flat, i have asked my landlord to consider laying carpet but he said no.

my downstairs neighbours hate me because of the noise but i feel there's not really much i can do about it, i am trying everything i can to get him to stop running but i cant stop him playing with his toys on the floor i.e. his cars, ride on toys building blocks and soft balls.

at 7 this morning my neighbours banged on my door when i went to answer it i heard her shouting "shut the fuck up!". Fine i thought ,he's probably woke them up with the running. I gave her some bits and bobs for her expectant grandchild, like a high chair i had for my ds, (rarely used and very expensive) only to find it laying in the garden with a load of rubbish,

To be honest i dont want to go down and explain why he runs as i am still getting my head round the autism thing, i dont really want to explain this to somebody who cant stand us as it is.
i just walked past my neighbour in the street i said "hiya" she said "fucking cow" and gave me a dirty look, i came home and cried
what else can i do?

I suppose, MoonUnit, but you can find stuff if you look hard enough. I have moved 3 times this year () and because I hate house-hunting, each time I absolutely blitzed lettings agents and ended up getting what I wanted.

Last time I househunted I was limiting myself to houses (sick of flats) in one provincial city, had to be on a bus route, and couldn't be too pricy as I am alone just now. It was also August so all the students moving. It took me a week to find somewhere. Not easy, but can be done.

MsKlo - swearing is deffo wrong, earlier I was trying to suggest the neighbour might have her own issues, though.

Or she might just be a mouthy bitch

there is no excuse for your neighbour to be so vile to you in the street, that's simply appalling. all wooden floors are damned noisy to live under though, but as one poster says, it's not as if she has to put up with it all night.

my suggestions are: (i) move; or (ii) some big cheap rugs (with a no slip underlay) from ikea. it will muffle the noise somewhat, but definitely not remove it. if the landlord won't get carpet, then there's not much else you can do.

ultimately though, moving is really the best long term option for you as you will be constantly stressed by thinking of the neighbours every time your child makes noise.

here i sympathise as my dd cries in the night and our neighbours complained several times. but then they started having parties that finished at 7:30am, so now i don't stress when DD has the odd bad night. and while i do detest them for so many reasons including their parties, the filth on their property and the resulting invasion of mice into both our homes, i am always civil to them and would not dream of being as rude as your neighbour was to you!

My disabled DS has woken up and made noises at night for years. Luckily we have students either side who are more than used to noise at night (their own). Mind you, perhaps that's why DS wakes up every fucking night!

One set of students complained about DS's noise, but as they were constantly having drug-fuelled parties until 8am, I laughed in their faces!

We do try to minimise the noise - carpets, rudimentary soundproofing etc. It's the only way. I would love to move to a detached house, but finances don't permit me to. I have to agree that if and when you can, you should move somewhere with nicer neighbours and where your DS can happily run around without you feeling on edge all the time. It's tough isn't it and what a stressful time, wondering whether your DS has autism. Lots of people on here wouldn't understand just how difficult that is. Good luck

"but he likes the noise of the laminate flooring so he take all his toys off the rugs and onto the wooden floor. i do try to stop this but its exhausting and i find myself giving up."

It's exhausting? Really?

Surely it's far more exhausting worrying about what your neighbour is going to do or say next and how long it will be before you're served notice/your tenancy is not renewed?

Hello there

How about these? They seem reasonably priced and your DS might be more inclined to run his cars along these 'roads'. Worth a try?

www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/20176809

www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/20101871

I do feel for you. I am a noisy neighbour on a 2nd floor flat. Anything...TV newborn crying chatting music domestics go straight through.
I heard her dog and I occasionally hear her lovely guitar playing but she has the worst end of the wedge and although I know that I find it very hard to live 'normally' in hushed tones.

My sympathy is with your neighbour.

You are making her life hell. You knock down all the perfectly reasonable suggestions and appear to believe that she should just lump it.

I'd probably be getting to the point of swearing at you in the street too. You need to move.

I think you should think of her sanity and yours and try to move. This situation isn't going to get any better for quite some time to come.

In the meantime, putting more stuff on the floors and putting up stair gates seems to be the best option.

You could put a request on freecycle for carpet, there's usually some going on ours. You can just lay it down or using tape underneath, it doens't need to be laid properly.

I second the gym mats idea.

In your sons room you can lay down some really heavy duty thick gym mats - like these www.ukfitnesssupplies.co.uk/ProductDetail.asp?ProductID=1247

maybe even put thick duvets underneath. You can lay them edge to edge in your sons room and put his furniture on top then he wouldn't be able to get them up. Put rugs etc on top for extra padding.

OP have you considered getting interlocking foam mats like this?

cgi.ebay.co.uk/Nursery-Play-Room-Interlocking-Foam-Floor-Mats-144sqft_W0QQitemZ140355702853QQcmdZViewItem?rvr_id=206401293330&rvr_id=206401293330&cguid=036b64a412d0a0aa12210911ff625b5c

they are far more noise insulating than carpet, also cheaper and you can move then and cut to fit areas you need. also wipe clean. you can get them in different colours - i've seen them in b and q as well.

I've just caught up with this thread, there are some great ideas for mats etc and thanks to all of you who have made some practical suggestions.

for those of you who have decide to add nothing useful to the thread like curlymama, i suggest if you have nothing useful/ constructive to add then don't post anything at all!

maybe the ambu thread bring out the worst in some people or maybe they are just plain nasty!

Ask het to speak to the council to ask if they might pay for carpets. I know they have a fund to provide floor coverings to cut down on anti-social noise. I know that you aren't council but she is and its affecting her so they might help.

Or they might be able to write to your landlord to complain and persuade him to lay some.

ask her, not het

I think curlymama did add some useful stuff to the thread, before/at the same time as a lot of other posters. Perhaps it is you that simply chooses to see/believe what you want to believe and don't actually realise, despite lots of opinions on this thread pointing to the fact, that you are being a bit unreasonable?

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"You need to get rugs, if your ds is running alot, it is only fair. And make him wear soft slippers.

I agree that autiam can be very apparant at 2, but you do still have to control the situation as best you can.

Can you take him out more often, go to the park and let him burn off as much energy as possible?"

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"You say that you don't want to move, and that you don't want to pay for carpet. You can't have it both ways, you are being very selfish with that attitude.

What do you mean when you say 'discuss it?' Are you hoping they are just going to say 'ok, if your ds might have SN we won't be bothered by the noise anymore? Because they won't. You know that though right?"

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Just a couple of useful posts from curlymama. HTH.

PS - I feel your pain. As a young 'un, my poor mother had to deal with the same issue you are dealing with now - the difference being she had 5 children to try and keep silent, not one. In the end, we moved.