To be proud of being and wife and to want to be acknowledged as such?

[WriterofDreams]

I've read quite a few posts on MN from people who are annoyed, and quite rightly so, at being called "Mrs" when they're actually a Ms or Dr or some other title. I've actually found I have the opposite problem, where companies send me correspondence with the title "Ms" even though I put Mrs on any forms or letters I send. It also quite annoys me when I introduce my DH as my husband and people persist in calling him my partner. I chose to get married and being a wife is an important part of my identity that I would like to have acknowledged. I like being "Mrs DH's name" although I do draw the line at being called "Mrs Dh's first name Dh's second name," as I haven't actually changed my first name at all.

AIBU to expect companies and professionals to use the title I've actually selected rather than the PC catch-all one?

LeQueen I think your dress is lovely.

Lots of men wear wedding rings, and this announces to the world that they are married, just as much as a woman being known as Mrs. Even if I used Ms, my wedding ring would be a clue (assuming anyone cared, which I don't think they do). I know that Miss/Mrs used to denote ownership, but language evolves all the time. What was once true is no longer the case.

I don't feel 'owned' or unequal. It is possible to over think these things. I am more concerned for the women of the world who really are oppressed and have no rights, irrespective of their titles.

As long as you dont talk about BF!!

Oh no, BFing wasn't part of your wedding day with MrQ was it? [boak]

Natch, LeQueen, in navy to match the bridesmaids (and my eyes).
I also insisted that the bridesmaids were chaste and they certainly did not challenge all and sundry to shots competitions, nor did they teach my Grandmother to do the macarena (that string quartet was sooo talented ).

at Posie

Wives are a type of partner. This is rather like women are a type of people.

If someone asks me if I am the person who wrote this post, I do not feel the need to say...

How dare you call me a person! I am not a person, I am a woman. By referring to me as a person you are diminishing me!

Likewise, I am not offended by being referred to as a partner.

On the other hand, if someone would rather be called a woman than a person in some situation, or a wife rather than a partner, then we should all be happy to oblige and refer to that person in the way they choose.

If someone asks me to choose between Miss Ms Mrs Dr etc when filling in a form I would expect them to address me as per my response.

The fact is that I would choose Mrs and almost without exception would then be addressed as Ms which I loathe and think is an unpleasant and cold form of address.

I didn't have a problem being addressed as Miss before I was married and much preferred this to Miss. It doesn't matter to me that someone 'knows' I am not married - after all people make assumptions about these things they rarely know. There are a lot of widowed or divorced 'Mrses' and a fair few married 'Misses'.

I can understand people do not feel the same way and would like to be addressed as Ms but everyone who is responding so negatively to the OP has probably posted on other threads just as outraged about being called Mrs when they are unmarried.

The problem is inaccuracy and that someones choice is being ignored. I took the OP to mean that she was 'proud' ie not ashamed of being married.

"Anyway, I'm closing my profile piccie because this thread isn't about my wedding dress, strangely enough."

Weel, not sure it isn't. Me'aphor, an all that.

Leq, you danced to Sweet Child of mine????

I am sorry but I can converse no longer with a lover of soft rock. I expect you also sang along to Living on a Prayer as well?
Tut!

I may have gone a tad giddy to Kylie's Love at first sight and taken the dance floor over.
For some reason, that is a bit hazy in my memory.

This ones for the Briiiiiidddddddde!!!!!

Ah, happy days

An interesting topic.

I must say that when we got married, I wasn't at all expecting my wife to take on my name or want to be called 'Mrs', (I never in the world thought I'd ever get married anyway, as I have no particular love for the institution) but she did. This may have been a cultural thing - she says not, though. She's also the last person to see herself as a possession or chattel! If I said that to her, or treated her that way, I'd probably be wearing my testicles for earrings.

I also never really wanted a 'wife' in terms of someomne to look after me. I lived independently for many years, leaving home at 18. I can cook, clean and fend for mtyself, thanks very much. I feel very uncomfortable letting someone do that for me, frankly.

Someone mentioned further up (sorry, forgot who) that she's never heard a man say he was proud to be a husband. When we first married I wasn't at all, it was a means to an end so the woman I loved could stay in the country as far as I was concerned. As I've grown older, though, I am. Can't for the life of me explain why, it just feels right in some way I can't really define as it's on a purely emotional level.

Anyway, that was a bit long. Sorry. Just my tuppennyworth. Not sure if it really adds to the debate or not!

LQ if you dont want a thread to become all about you/your dress/your imaginary fairytale life why not stfu about it in the first place?

Good (oppressed) Girl Leq, I would bet my house that it wasn't due to Blue WKD consumption though. I mainlined champagne and Bombay sapphire on my wedding day, from hairdressers onwards. With a straw, due to bridle.

I loved my wedding, we came home from honeymoon to so many answer machine messages from embarrassed pissed up guests, fabulous.

I had been dreading it (due to divorced parents and a horror of being centre of attention, am no Leq ) but absolutely loved my wedding day.

Would do it all again in a flash. Though this time I think I may wear a Big Fat Gypsy wedding dress, anyone have one I can borrow????

"LQ if you dont want a thread to become all about you/your dress/your imaginary fairytale life why not stfu about it in the first place?"

why do have to come in and spoil the party..........some of us take the posts as they are meant to be.....obviously you're on a bad week then and have misplaced your sense of humour why don't you stfu and go to another forum that doesn't get your back up quite as much........or perhaps your just a bit pissed that LeQ gets more attention than you?

Go and stir trouble up elsewhere.......

I'm with you on this. By getting married you have made a vow and formal public announcement that your life and that of your husband are bound together. There's no sensible reason why we should all get stuck with our husbands being called our partners, especially when your chosen title is Mrs, just so the unmarried don't get offended It's just a sign of the lack of formality in this country and of the lack of respect people have for marriage. I just think it is rude when people use the partner term when I've used my Mrs. title, there's no excuse. Husband is the CORRECT term for the man I am married to. It's not about being pernickety, it's just a fact. Partner is just a wishy-washy catch all and is not a substitute. What have all the 'partners' and Ms-types got their knickers in such a twist about?

Are you partner-types sure that you're not actually just wanting a title promotion from 'girlfriend' because you're getting on a bit? ducks

Lequeen I think I am falling in love with you

Huge fan
Ok enough arse licking

Yeh them extending bf's really are mothers natures mothers and the government should recommend up to 3 years of bf...

God LeQ ! Just seen your photo. Can you introduce me to your son please, he's quite fit pretends not already married

I'm getting on a bit [old maid]