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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

its. a. BIB!

153 replies

LifeIsButtercream · 01/02/2011 11:41

Sorry please excuse my raging PMT!

Friend and her little boy came round for lunch, little boy is a couple of months younger than DD (who is 21m). We sat them both at DD's little table and I grabbed two of the catch-all bibs that hang around on the end of my counter. Just grabbed the top two without - turned out to be purple and pink.

I went to pop them on the toddlers while my friend filled her son's cup, then she turns to me and says "Sorry can he have a blue one? He's a boy, I don't like him to wear a girl's bib"

I dug out a green one, she was happy with that. Didn't say anything (only recently made friends, didn't want to ruffle feathers and as the mum of a DD, I'm unfamiliar with gender colour preferences). But later thought "it's a bib, it won't make his nuts drop off if her wears a 'girls colour' one!"

Strange, no? Please feel free to enlighten me!

OP posts:
thumbdabwitch · 03/02/2011 13:18

No worries, I'll do it for you - but it's easy anyway, look on the highlighted line above your post, where your name is - look along to the right of the page and there is a button saying Report - click on that. :)

butterpieify · 03/02/2011 13:28

It is such a horrible attitude towards girls too - "it is fine for a girl to be a tomboy, only natural to want to be like a boy, but why would a boy would to be like a girl? Urgh!"

katiepotatie · 03/02/2011 13:48

Ds is 21 months and wears pink bibs all the time, why waste them I have a 3 yr old daughter, and have a million pink things. OMG will his nuts drop off....he uses a pink cup too Grin

MickeyMixer · 03/02/2011 13:56

The pink cup is definitely dangerous!!! Shock

jasminetom · 03/02/2011 15:27

My 4 year old nephew refused to come to my wedding unless he could wear a dress and necklace. He is now 14 and doesn't seem to have suffered for his mother indulging him (have some rather odd wedding pics with him wearing lipstick)

HattiFattner · 03/02/2011 15:35

apparently, pink is very "in" for older boys at the moment. I had a cast on last year and was told that pink was the most popular colour for boys aged 18-25. My son is in year 6 (11) and wants a pink swimsuit! ultra cool to be a man in touch with his feminine side. APparently.

steppemum · 03/02/2011 21:20

Actually, on a serious note, I remember reading about research into this, and there was evidence that men who really struggled with gender issues when they were adults were boys who had not been allowed to express their feminine side as children, they had been brought up in families that had very rigid stereotypes.

steppemum · 03/02/2011 21:30

and just to be clear, that didn't mean that gay men weren't allowed to wear pink!

stealthsquiggle · 03/02/2011 21:30

DD's nursery were always fab about this - I would often arrive and find all the boys wearing the princess dressing up clothes.

My DC are reasonably flexible (DS's favourite posssession at 3 was a purple toy iron, but then he once refused to eat of a pink plate at a (girl's) party Blush) but they still get it from outside influence - I sometimes think DD says "boys don't like pink" purely to wind me up and make me explain again that boys and girls can like whichever colours they damn well please.

LifeOfKate · 03/02/2011 21:31

I've had a think about this. DS does have a doll (in gender neutral colours) and I won't object to him having dolls pushchairs/cookers/etc in the future. However, I won't be buying them in pink. This isn't because I think it's wrong for him to have items in pink (see above post about pink sleepsuits :o) as I don't. What I don't want to do is contribute to the market for pink things, as there is no way of saying to the manufacturer that you are buying the item for a boy when you purchase it, therefore adding fuel to the fire of their standard response of 'but there is a huge market for pink versions of items, we are just responding to consumer demand' Hmm

FWIW, if the next baby is a girl, I will be actively avoiding pink too, for much the same reason.

steppemum · 03/02/2011 21:52

I agree kate. I acively look for non pink things for my dds

candleshoe · 03/02/2011 21:54

I had a no pink rule but now DD is at school she REALLY wants to have pink things like ALL her friends.

FrozenNorthPole · 03/02/2011 21:59

Good to hear that I'm not the only mum of girls who refuses to buy pink toys. I find them REALLY monotonous - bright primary colours are so much more fun.

I had a fairly demoralising experience in the branch of a nationwide toy retailer this Christmas when trying to buy a toy till for a friend's son. A shop assistant kept resolutely steering me towards the 'boys' toys' aisle despite my insistence that I'd seen a red till on their website that would do just fine. Eventually she just looked bewildered and left me next to a rack of pink toy ironing boards and little princess dress-up kits. I should really have bought one of those for my friend's son, but sadly the same friend decreed that red and blue wellies - with dinosaurs on - were too girly for her son, so I chickened out. Who knows, she may be hiding the 'girls' till in a cupboard as I type ...

LadyOfTheManor · 03/02/2011 22:02

Ha ha ha ha "He will catch gay from the colour pink"-made me chuckle.

My mother took my ds (11mo) to church on Sunday and only had a pink fleece blanket. The little girls in the Sunday school found this hilarious "because he's a boy".

He returned with a tea set and a play fruit and veg stall.

candleshoe · 03/02/2011 22:03

In case anyone missed it have a look at pinkstinks.com

LadyOfTheManor · 03/02/2011 22:03

Your friend is BVU. You are not. My ds wears whatever bib is on the top of the pile (I buy in packs of 6 so you get rainbow colours-pink is one!)

candleshoe · 03/02/2011 22:04

Bugger wrong link sorry - look at my earlier post!! OOops

LadyOfTheManor · 03/02/2011 22:05

Yeah I just clicked on that! I was like hmm weird!

candleshoe · 03/02/2011 22:06

pinkstinks.co.uk

Bumperrlicious · 03/02/2011 22:25

I'm really glad that from a very young age dd decided her favourite colour was green!

DitaVonCheese · 03/02/2011 23:31

I also actively avoid pink. DD also has plenty of boys' clothes. She has a cooker and kettle etc but not pink :)

When she was about 3 months old, we took her down to DH's home town to meet his friends. One of them (not a very close friend!) honestly could not tell what gender she was because she was wearing a blue cardigan over a pink sleepsuit and it completely baffled him Hmm

steppemum · 03/02/2011 23:33

ROFL dita over blue cardigan over pink sleepsuit and can't tell gender!

sungirltan · 03/02/2011 23:39

he he at 'catch gay'

we can all laugh now....op's friend can just wait until her ds starts choosing things for himself ;-)

i used to look after the most gorgeous 4 year old boy - his very favourite toy was a pink dolls pushchair with a baby girl doll in it - he would play with it lovingly for HOURS.

earlier this week a load of mums and i sat on the floor of a friends playroom for a natter while the kids toddled around - naturally we took our shoes off. my mate's ds (16 months) found a pair of red high heels and wlould not be parted from them. his mum couldn't stop laughing!

its so sad we push gender stereotyping on to small children. they should just be playing and learning, nothing more :-(

nappyaddict · 03/02/2011 23:54

camdancer Does your DS wear dresses to preschool or just skirts? Are they his sisters or did he choose them himself from a shop? My DS has worn princess and fairy dressing up outfits but I have never bought him his own. He's never asked though, I probably would if he did.

candleshoe · 04/02/2011 10:00

My eight year old DS wears a old lady style floral broach at weekends, because he won it on a tombola and he thinks it is full of real precious gems!

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