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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

its. a. BIB!

153 replies

LifeIsButtercream · 01/02/2011 11:41

Sorry please excuse my raging PMT!

Friend and her little boy came round for lunch, little boy is a couple of months younger than DD (who is 21m). We sat them both at DD's little table and I grabbed two of the catch-all bibs that hang around on the end of my counter. Just grabbed the top two without - turned out to be purple and pink.

I went to pop them on the toddlers while my friend filled her son's cup, then she turns to me and says "Sorry can he have a blue one? He's a boy, I don't like him to wear a girl's bib"

I dug out a green one, she was happy with that. Didn't say anything (only recently made friends, didn't want to ruffle feathers and as the mum of a DD, I'm unfamiliar with gender colour preferences). But later thought "it's a bib, it won't make his nuts drop off if her wears a 'girls colour' one!"

Strange, no? Please feel free to enlighten me!

OP posts:
LurcioLovesFrankie · 01/02/2011 13:34

Quite normal to like pink I think - it's my DS's favourite colour. And as for being teased by other children - depends on the other parents/ attitude of childcare workers. At my DS's nursery, all the children, regardless of sex, are encouraged to play with all the toys - so DS plays with baby dolls, prams (he has a pink pram at home), hairdressing dolls, as well as trucks and trains (my favourites as a child). And it's not some weird middle class lentil weaving nursery: one of the other boys' dad's said his son's favourite colour was pink too - dad in question was wearing camouflage fatigues at the time, as he's an instructor at the local army base. He doesn't seem in the slightest bit worried about his son liking pink :)

queenofthecapitalwasteland · 01/02/2011 13:37

As recently as 1920s blue was for girls and pink for boys, possibly as Virgin Mary wore blue and it used to be considered a 'pure' colour (thank you QI Grin)
Who knows, in another 100 years it may be the other way round again?

emmab5 · 01/02/2011 13:42

Blacksand that's so sad. Black Beauty is one of our favorite books. DS1 loves it as much as DD and I will be reading it to DS2 when he's older.

Some people have strange ideas!

propercrimbo · 01/02/2011 13:42

My DS 2 1/2 actually chooses the pink flowery bib at my Mums and he has a pink tea set... obviously I am forcing 'gay' on him Grin
I would have laughed actually and thought she was joking!!

bupcakesandcunting · 01/02/2011 13:43

She is mental. Pink was originally invented for male royalty. My DS wears pink, so does DH. Haven't arrived home to find them performing a duet of I Am What I Am yet so don't think it's harming them...

LadyOfTheFlowers · 01/02/2011 13:44

:o Ha! My 3 boys fight to use DDs shocking pink beaker!

LadyOfTheFlowers · 01/02/2011 13:44

....then go off and carry on playing action man.... :)

WildSheepChase · 01/02/2011 13:45

My 2 year old DS is currently sporting yellow, orange and blue fingernails thanks to 'playing' with Mummy's nail varnish collection yesterday. Bollocks still intact.

bupcakesandcunting · 01/02/2011 13:49

This sounds familiar, LadyoftheFlowers.

My DS burst into my bedroom the other day, wearing my leopard print Wayfarers, my beads and hus pants, shouted "Diva Fever!" and then asked to watch Top Gear :)

nickelthenaughtybutnicefairy · 01/02/2011 13:52

MrSpoc - i'm worrried about your attitude towards your DS playing with dolls - what exactly is your thinking behind it?
What do you think the problem will be?

Don't you think you're stifling your DS's imaginative play by not allowing him to play with whatever toys he wishes????

MoonUnitAlpha · 01/02/2011 13:53

I'm loling at MrSpoc's concern about babies being picked on for wearing pink sleepsuits Grin

DS has a pink and purple grobag but there aren't hoards of kids round taking the piss.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 01/02/2011 13:55

BupCakes - :o

MrSpoc · 01/02/2011 14:01

Nothing wrong with BlackBeauty good book and i am also a hosrey person.

What i do not want is my boy to be picked on at nursey or school. There is a little boy who goes to play group with a pink hand bag and the other kids (mainly girls) laugh.

My son is also facinated with his mums makeup and I dont mind him playing with it inside that house but he aint going outside with lip stick on.

MrSpoc · 01/02/2011 14:02

Sorry Horsey

yogididabooboo · 01/02/2011 14:05

Of course yabu OP.

he might have caught gayness or something. wtf were you thinkgin giving a liittle boy a pink bib.

bupcakesandcunting · 01/02/2011 14:06

MrSpoc, don't you think that it's the other kids with a problem and not the handbag-toting boy? What about when a disabled child turns up at the school and gets laughed at? Or a child of a different ethnicity? Should they stop being disabled or a different race just to stop other kids mocking them? The only way children learn to tolerate different people is to be exposed to them.

MrSpoc · 01/02/2011 14:15

bit ott bupcake, you do not choose your race or disability but you can stop the possibility of your child being bullied becasue he has a pink hand bag or carries a barbie doll about.

If you can stop your child being bullied would you?

Now if my child was to bully anyone I would be very angry not matter what his reasons were be it race, disability, sex or pink fluffy hands bags but not everyone is like my unfortuntaly

bamboobutton · 01/02/2011 14:17

my ds loves playing with my old barbies. i had better watch out in case his balls start shriveling up or his wrists start going all limp!

and dd wears ds's old blue clothes! i had better watch out in case she starts growing a pair!

oh my! what have i done?

ashamedandconfused · 01/02/2011 14:18

I know a grown man who refuses to push his DD in a pink buggy

if ever they have a Ds they will need a new one and that boy will never be allowed to play with girls stuff I am sure

some people are just idiots

bupcakesandcunting · 01/02/2011 14:26

Whether you choose the differences that set you aside as being "different" or not isn't really the point, is it? If my DS genuinely wanted to carry a pink bag, I would have to let him. I wouldn't want to stifle his personality just to appease others. My reason for this is double-pronged; 1. because I'm not sure what it would be teaching him to say that it's bad to carry a pink bag. "you shouldn't carry a pink bag because, well, it's a bit gay really and being gay isn't right" and 2. Because I'd be teaching him from an early age that you need to stifle yourself if you want to fit in. I can't get on board with that.

camdancer · 01/02/2011 14:36

My DS (3 1/2) regularly goes to preschool in a skirt. His favourite is a purple puffball! He has never had anyone say anything to him about it at all. One girl did ask him why he was wearing girls wellies (his are pink and flowery) and he just said they weren't girls wellies they were his. She was just asking a question rather than bullying or even making a snide comment.

He is boy right through to his core. Plays with tools, trains, cars, enjoys a good lightsaber battle etc. He just also likes the colour pink and wearing a variety of clothes. It makes me sad that this will probably stop when he goes to big school though.

As long as he wants to wear pink, skirts and tights I'll be fine with it for both reasons bupcakes says.

MrsPresley · 01/02/2011 14:37

My youngest daughter is the same height/size as my 2 grandsons although a wee bit younger than them.

It's not the first time she's been at thier houses and came home wearing their clothes because she's spilt something/got filthy and it's the same when either of the boys are here.

If they need a clean t-shirt they're quite happy to go home wearing a pink glittery top that says "I'm a perfect princess" or whatever Grin. It's not like they have to wear them all the time!

TallulahdoesthehulainHawaii · 01/02/2011 15:13

My DS (3.7) loves pink, he always gets left with the pink spoons/cups etc at my DSIS's house as her DS's won't use them!

He always wants the pink tops and jumpers in shops too, he has a small collection now Smile

nickelthenaughtybutnicefairy · 01/02/2011 15:20

exactly, bupcakes - the worst thing you can do to a child is tell them that what they want to do is wrong.

MrSpoc - why on earth would it be wrong for your DS to leave the house with makeup on?
I have a friend whose son is now 6, and he has been made up with stage makeup several times - he looks like a child with make-up on - he does not look like a freak who's asking to be bullied.

You just can't impose these crap thoughts and feelings onto children!
Children play - it's what they do - it's their job - it's what makes them into fully rounded human beings.
You cannot tell them that it's wrong to wear the wrong colour, or to wear the wrong clothes.
That's how to raise a fucked-up adult (see the man who won't push a pink buggy FFS.

partyof52010 · 01/02/2011 15:23

I had a DD 1st, then two DS. I have re-used her vests, sleepsuits and gro-bags for both boys.

All nuts still present and correct.

MiL thinks it is abhorrent that I would put my boys in pink/lilac etc. But then she also thinks its truly horriffic that DD does ballet and adores all things pink and girly, but also loves watching and palying football.

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