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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

its. a. BIB!

153 replies

LifeIsButtercream · 01/02/2011 11:41

Sorry please excuse my raging PMT!

Friend and her little boy came round for lunch, little boy is a couple of months younger than DD (who is 21m). We sat them both at DD's little table and I grabbed two of the catch-all bibs that hang around on the end of my counter. Just grabbed the top two without - turned out to be purple and pink.

I went to pop them on the toddlers while my friend filled her son's cup, then she turns to me and says "Sorry can he have a blue one? He's a boy, I don't like him to wear a girl's bib"

I dug out a green one, she was happy with that. Didn't say anything (only recently made friends, didn't want to ruffle feathers and as the mum of a DD, I'm unfamiliar with gender colour preferences). But later thought "it's a bib, it won't make his nuts drop off if her wears a 'girls colour' one!"

Strange, no? Please feel free to enlighten me!

OP posts:
TyraG · 02/02/2011 18:22

On a more serious note, kids should be allowed to be kids and enjoy themselves, they've got enough time to have all the bullshit stereotypes pushed on them in the future.

DitaVonCheese · 02/02/2011 21:10

I never fail to be amazed by people who think the answer to bullying is to make themselves as bland as possible Hmm

2 yo DD has had plenty of boys' and GN stuff in her time and seems to be okay so far. She does like to wrap herself in a big white towel and run around the house shouting "I'm getting married!". Not sure where she's got that from ...

LifeOfKate · 03/02/2011 09:14

Yes, Dita, I think it's a very bizarre reaction too. Surely the way round it is to teach the bullying children that differences between people are to be celebrated, not that the bullied should hide away Confused

I do think a lot of the bullying talk in this thread is the adult's projections onto the situation though, particularly the post talking about wanting to avoid pink sleepsuits to avoid bullying. DS is currently wearing one of his pink sleepsuits before I get him dressed in a minute. For a start, there is nobody else around to see him in the sleepsuit since it has largely been worn while he has been asleep (funny that!) and secondly, he is 13 months old, so wouldn't have a clue if someone was laughing at him! In fact, he'd probably join in :o

NorbertDentressangle · 03/02/2011 09:20

The OP's friend is lucky she didn't have a girl and then a boy as IME big sisters love nothing more than dressing their little brothers up as fairies, princesses etc.

We have lots of photos of DS wearing sparkly wings, tiaras and fluffy pink dresses Grin.

Can you imagine how the friend would deal with that!

Riddo · 03/02/2011 09:24

Pink seems to be "in" for the boys in ds (11) class. he has a pair of real Barbie pink trainers which were his main Christmas pressie and loves his purple stripy jumper.

I feel sorry for OPs friends baby that he is being forced into a stereotype before he can even speak.

MoChan · 03/02/2011 09:35

FFS. It drives me UP THE WALL. Completely fed up of people buying into this divisive gender colour scheme crap. Utterly fricking ridiculous. I am going to go away now before I begin a LONG RANT.

OTheHugeManatee · 03/02/2011 09:52

DP regularly wears pink shirts to work.

Besides having the dangly bits generally associated with the male of the species, and definitely no vagina, he is far too hairy to be a girl.

If a grown man can survive this, surely your friend's toddler can cope.

YANB at all U.

textpest · 03/02/2011 11:31

My SiL - who isn't what you would call 'normal' at the best of times - is like this with her DD. OH bought her a lovely pale blue/cream fleece suit to keep the baby warm but she is 'keeping it for the next one' because it is a 'boys colour' - MiL hasn't broken it to her that she was dressed in OH old clothes till she was about 4 and people thought she was a boy with ribbons in his hair!

So no YANBU

MickeyMixer · 03/02/2011 11:45

My DH, six foot six and VERY manly, wears pink and purple all the time. Today he is also sporting a floral tie. He says,'Only REAL men wear pink!'

Your new friend is a loon!!! My DTSs wore all my old clothes when they were little - we were skint and my mum gave us boxes of my old stuff. I didn't even bother correcting people who came up to admire my twin 'girls.'

MickeyMixer · 03/02/2011 11:46

Direct your friend to think carefully about her choices and give her a book on The Suffragettes for Christmas!

Numberfour · 03/02/2011 11:50

I fell off the chair reading a PP's "gonad intacto" comment!! Fucking brilliant!!

OP: you friend is an ignoramus.

LadyBiscuit · 03/02/2011 11:54

My DS wore sparkly nail varnish for a week last summer. I don't think he caught the gay, nor did he get bullied. His balls are definitely still there too

TurkeyBurgerThing · 03/02/2011 11:59

My 13 m o DS2 is wearing pink tights today....

bratnav · 03/02/2011 12:05

This reply has been deleted

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lexxity · 03/02/2011 12:06

oh FFS your friend is a nutter.

My DS1 loves pink. He had a pink buggy for his second christmas, he's 5 now and said buggy is still with us. He's got pink polo shirts and looks gorgeous in them. He used to like to put make up on when I was, so we did, and I TOOK HIM OUT TO NURSERY WEARING IT! He'd wear it now, but I'm on mat leave so not wearing it as much. He has a pink kitchen and TWO dolls! He has a pink beaker too for his night time water!

God someone call social services I've obviously given him Gay. Hmm

It remains to be seen what DS2 will be like, he's only 8 weeks old.

MickeyMixer · 03/02/2011 12:10

www.pinkstinks.co.uk/

A fab website - pink is dangerous for girls -for boys its fine though!!

Mothers of daughters please have a read!

thumbdabwitch · 03/02/2011 12:12

This is making me but also think a bit hard.

I have no issue whatsoever with DS having any kind of toy he likes - dolls, buggy, kitchen, whatever. But I don't like the idea of buying him one in pink. Because I don't see that they have to be stereotypically "girls' toys".He does have a cooker, as it happens - all in bright primary colours - much better!
I asked DH about getting him a buggy, should DS ever want one (he's shown no inclination so far) and he said "No" at first, then was shown the errors in his thinking steered into agreeing that it was find "but only a blue one".

I know that DH would have serious problems with DS being in pink clothing, skirts, frilly stuff or whatever (but then he's an Aussie male, they're mostly Like That) - but I'm not so sure I wouldn't have a problem either. I wouldn't choose to dress him in pink sparkly shoes, for example. But if he wanted a fairy outfit, no problem.

Hmm, I need to go and think about this some more...

OP - your friend is an utter loon though - a borrowed bib is hardly going to stick to her DS like a beacon shouting PINK! PINK! PINK! forever.

MickeyMixer · 03/02/2011 12:31

It is a great pity that it is so hard to buy toys that are the traditional, caring, female type of toy that are NOT pink!

Boys and girls ought to have dolls, prams, kitchens, nurses uniforms, dollshouses etc. in all the colours of the rainbow!

Even craft sets are packaged in pink 'for girls' and science kits rarely show girls on the boxes and are packaged 'for boys' in blue!!!

AAaargh

thumbdabwitch · 03/02/2011 12:37

Totally agree MickeyMixer.

MickeyMixer · 03/02/2011 12:41

Thanks

MoChan · 03/02/2011 12:44

My daughter has LOTS of 'girls' toys that are not pink, though I did have to find them in the less mainstream shops/off the internet. It's not hard to find a red toy pushchair or kitchen though.

She also has lots of 'boys' type toys. I'm just sorry that none of THEM are pink, just to redress the balance.

It's still completely vexing, though. Especially when such utterly regressive things are on sale (fifties style nurses uniform outfits aimed at little girls, still? Instead of modern unisex ones aimed at both genders?).

MoChan · 03/02/2011 12:46

Oh, and the crafts vs science thing drives me NUTS.

MickeyMixer · 03/02/2011 12:47

There should be a page on MN to which we could post gender-neutral toys/products that we find 'cos they are very hard to find!

thumbdabwitch · 03/02/2011 12:58

That's an excellent idea MickeyMixer! It could go in the Product review section, under Toys and gifts and have its own page, labelled "gender neutral toys"!

Report your own post to MNHQ to demand it draw their attention to it. :)

MickeyMixer · 03/02/2011 13:04

Good thinking - sadly don't know how!!