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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be surprised that dd was made to try potato

93 replies

Dancergirl · 31/01/2011 22:49

Dd3 (nearly 4) went to play at a nursery school friend's house one day last week. The mum picked them both up from nursery, gave them lunch and I collected dd later.

When I picked up, the mum commented that dd didn't eat much. I said don't worry and asked what they ate. They had chicken drumsticks which dd ate and potatoes. Dd doesn't eat pototo in any shape or form but the mum said she 'made' dd try a bit and she gagged.

I'm slightly unnerved about this. I wouldn't make a child try something if they weren't keen, especially a visiting child. Would this bother you?

OP posts:
AnyFuleKno · 31/01/2011 22:53

I'm sure she didn't force feed her. Probably encouraged her or told her no pudding unless...did you ask the mum what she meant when she said she 'made' your dd try it?

Also it seems a bit defeatist to say that a 4yo doesn't eat something. That's just giving them a label to hang a foible from. Children will often eat something in another setting that they wouldn't touch at home.

On the face of it I think you're overreacting. However I'm prepared to retract that if it turns out funnels were involved.

yogididabooboo · 31/01/2011 22:54

it depends on how she "made" her.

some children are more likely to try things if with their peers so with a little encouragment she may well have given it a go.

if she made her feel as though she had to then no that is not on.

How does yoru DD feel abotu the visit? do you think she was upset after the visit

Shakirasma · 31/01/2011 22:55

Unless the mother held your dds nose til she opened her mouth then rammed the fork in, then she didn't actually "make" her try it.

I expect she encouraged her to try a bit, as a parent would normally do with their own child if they are being a bit fussy.

No, I wouldn't be bothered by this.

bubblewrapped · 31/01/2011 22:57

Going to be a bloody difficult life not liking potato.. if it is potato in any shape or form.

Assuming she isnt allergic to it.. and you knew she was being given lunch at someone elses house, then YABU to be bothered by this..

Fantoosh · 31/01/2011 22:57

Wouldn't bother me. I think you're over reacting - she didn't make her eat a snail. It's potato!

MollysChambers · 31/01/2011 22:58

I wouldn't make a child try a food they were unsure of but i would certainly encourage them to do so.

Depends what she means by "made" tbh.

Can't be doing with fussy eaters though.

MummyTubb · 31/01/2011 22:59

I would suggest that you tell other people that your DD is fussy about potato if they are going to eat at someone else's house. Potato is a pretty standard food, and just the sort of 'normal' food I would offer a child I was feeding.

GreenEyesandHam · 31/01/2011 22:59

Had you specifically told her that your daughter didn't eat potato beforehand?

Not being funny, but come on, potato is hardly on the list of acquired tastes is it?

DirtyMartini · 31/01/2011 23:00

I don't think I'd mind.

WOuld consider it unsurprising if dd didn't like the woman much, though!

mutznutz · 31/01/2011 23:00

I'm sure she just encouraged her.

I'll never forget the day my now 19yr old son came home from his friend's house (aged 6 at the time) and announced that from now on, I should give him green veg because apparently it's good for him Hmm

Like I hadn't spent years trying to get him to eat the stuff....but one word from his friend's Mum and he was lapping it up Angry

Me? Bitter? After all these years? Blush

FreudianSlippery · 31/01/2011 23:01

I'd be grateful tbh - kids often try different foods in less familiar settings due to good ole peer pressure!

I'm sure she didn't literally force her - just gentle persuasion!

Ladyofthehousespeaking · 31/01/2011 23:01

Yanbu (I've suprised myself there!)
this happened to me when I was little - friends mum told me to eat fish fingers or I couldn't go home to my mum, it's soo daft but I feel like wretching when I see/smell them cooking now ,horrible things!!!

And fwiw I was not a wee delicate flower sort of a kid, but that woman scared the shit out of me!

taintedpaint · 31/01/2011 23:03

OP, you can borrow my DN for a couple of days if you want? He's still on his potato kick and would no doubt help your DD find a potato form she likes!

(and for anyone who sees this who remembers me and my crazy little boy, yes, he did get a potato in his Christmas stocking Hmm Grin)

theITgirl · 31/01/2011 23:03

Reminds me of the time that I "made" one of DD's friends try some mash,
2 mins later all of the mash had gone.

mamadoc · 31/01/2011 23:05

Did you warn them she doesn't like potato? I mean a lot of meals are likely to contain it one way and another.
My DD is a fussy eater to my great shame and despite always having had home cooked meals, lots of variety. She is especially bad in strange places.
I usually warn people that she may not eat much so don't give her much and that our policy is to remove uneaten food without comment.
Hopefully that doesn't make me look like a loon but I am keen to avoid people cajoling or threatening as she will just cry and not eat it anyway.

reddaisy · 31/01/2011 23:05

Mutznutz - why hadn't you given him green veg before he was six? That is pretty mean of you, the poor boy probably didn't even know what it was.

Shame on you. Wink

Tut, tut,

onehotmomma · 31/01/2011 23:07

I wouldn't have a problem with it either. I made mash when my daughter was around 3yr old and because she didn't like the look of it she didn't try it. I put a tiny amount on my finger and quickly shoved it in her gob lol. Lets just say there was no mash left on her plate and now she loves mash Grin

silverfrog · 31/01/2011 23:09

agree you are being a bit over-precious.

I expect she encouraged oyur dd to try it

MoonUnitAlpha · 31/01/2011 23:10

I'd think it was a bit weird - if you want to persuade/encourage your own children to eat something then fair enough, but why bother a visiting child?

YANBU - Don't see the need.

Original poster
Dancergirl · 31/01/2011 23:11

Thanks all. I'm not that bothered by it just a bit surprised. Dd said she didn't like the food.

I know the whole peer pressure make children eat better thing but unfortunately I have the most stubborn dd when it comes to food. My middle dd is terribly fussy too and I think dd3 has just copied her. But I'm fairly confident that they both will try things when they're ready and in the meantime I've taken the pressure off.

OP posts:
GreenEyesandHam · 31/01/2011 23:11

silverfrog so she does eat potato in one form then Wink

bubblewrapped · 31/01/2011 23:12

MoonUnit, She was feeding the child in her house, not ordering off a menu. Potato is a fairly staple basic food that the majority of the population eat on a daily basis in some form or other.

Original poster
Dancergirl · 31/01/2011 23:13

Silverfrog - my dds don't eat chips either!

OP posts:
silverfrog · 31/01/2011 23:14

GreenEyes - well, technically, yes (unconvinced Nandos chips are un-reconstituted)

but when I say nibble, i mean nibble, and in a "if you don't at least try a chip then you can't have oyur ice lolly" kind of way.

a gnat would take a bigger mouthful Grin

littlebylittle · 31/01/2011 23:14

Would be delighted to hear dd had eaten something new at friend's house. Unfortunate choice of word 'made' though, not surprised you felt uncomfortable. I wouldn't have mentioned it to the mother-sounds a bit 'look what I can do that you can't ' and would have made me a bit cross. Whereas If dd had casually mentioned it to me afterwards would have been chugged.