Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really shocked that someone who I always see as highly intelligent etc

153 replies

icarriedawatermelon2 · 31/01/2011 20:59

can so so so so ignorant when it comes to car seats and safety?

At work today. Chatting over lunch about keeping my youngest son rear facing. Much respected work mate, who is so bright and intelligent literally mocks me for being OTT and revealing that he drives with his 7 year old on sofa cushion if he forgets her booster seat (no high back, just basic booster) and wouldn't in a million years keep a toddler rear facing as they are too demanding and need to see where they are going!

Then the whole room joins in with "Oh in my day we didn't have seats etc etc"

"x£ on a car seat you must be mad etc"

Left work feeling a bit crap to be honest :(

OP posts:
springbokdoc · 02/02/2011 19:46

Whatever your opinion on rear vs forward please don't use the argument of 'when i was a kid we didn't even have seat belts'. I grew up when no one had car seats (my mom and dad put me and my sis in the footwells :) ) but by definition we are the ones that never had to test the usefulness of seat belts. Car seats are there for a reason and I hope no one has to see their usefulness.

I have also seen people who have been ejected from the car as no seat belt and horrific injuries from incorrectly placed seat belts in little ones.

But as long as people are working within the law I wouldn't get too het up.

biryani · 02/02/2011 19:54

My DD has been travelling on a cushion since she was 4! I suppose this makes me a neglectful parent, but I'm not convinced by the arguments in favour of car seats. Shouldn't it be up to each parent to decide the risk factor on the basis of common sense?

edam · 02/02/2011 20:06

biryani - you are joking, aren't you?

If not, then yes, you are a neglectful woman, and if a police officer ever stops your car you will be in big trouble. There are laws about using appropriate child seats. For every good reasons.

edam · 02/02/2011 20:08

And what common sense are you talking about? Have you researched death and injury rates amongst children who are not in car seats and those who are? Are you aware that in a crash a cushion will slide out from under your child, so they might slip out of the seat belt, or be injured by it?

springbokdoc · 02/02/2011 20:11

Jeez. I'm all for parents working out what's best for their kids but... jeez. Your opinion with respect to the law won't carry much weight with the coppers.

springbokdoc · 02/02/2011 20:13

or with physics - your kid (not you, but your child) carries the risk of serious injury cos you reckon it'll be alright?

HowAnnoying · 02/02/2011 20:22

I think the OP is just saying the colleague is ignorant for using a cushion, and pointing out that the booster he has could easily be kept in the car as it isn't a high back one. I didn't at all get the impression she was judging for him not using a high back one.

Way to harsh on the OP to call her un-hinged and bonkers.

biryani · 02/02/2011 20:32

Was kidding about the cushion, although she has travelled on one (not with me) for short journeys. The point I'm trying to make (badly, it seems), is that parents ought to be able to come to their own conclusions as to when it is appropriate to use seats and what type it should be without interference from the government et al. I remember when the latest law came in and the Government Minister in charge at the time, when asked on Jeremy Vine why it should be compulsory for a child to use one said "because it's the law", implying that we should do as we are told just because some interfering busybody in government says that we should. The rules should reflect the circumstances, surely? Incidentally, I'd be interested to know if anyone has heard of anyone prosecuted under this law, because I haven't. Also, I gather that taxis are exempt from this law, when common sense suggests that, of all drivers, it is often taxi drivers who perhaps need to take more care!

edam · 02/02/2011 21:06

biryani - v glad you were not serious about the cushion.

One of the functions of the law is to protect people from other people's stupidity. Children especially deserve protection. Adults are generally free to decide how to run their lives and take stupid risks if they wish - although some are legislated against e.g. drink driving. But children are vulnerable to other people making decisions that put them in danger. That's why there has to be a law on child seats, because some children are unfortunate enough to have stupid or careless parents or grandparents or carers or other adults involved in their lives.

Ormirian · 02/02/2011 21:08

Blimey! DS2 is 8 this month and hasn't had a booster for a while. Oops! It just didn't occur to me that he would still need one. He is very tall though.

edam · 02/02/2011 21:12

If he's 135cm then legally it's fine, Ormirian.

JamieLeeCurtis · 02/02/2011 21:12

Orm - he's probably tall enough

Ormirian · 02/02/2011 21:15

Thankyou.

Just checked and he's 139cm. Freak child like the rest of his family Grin

LadyBiscuit · 02/02/2011 21:23

A miracle has occurred! This is the very first time ever that I have agreed with LarryGrylls. Shock

I don't take risks with my children but I've been driving for 30 years and never had a bad accident. Obviously it might happen but the sky might also fall in tomorrow.

I think there is a worrying trend with baby/children products where the equation goes a bit like this: More money spent = more I care about my child.

I'm not just talking about car seats but nappies, whatever-that-stuff-is-called-free bottles, cots, clothes, prams, everything.

Spending more cash to give your child an infinitesimally greater chance of survival in a crash that is less likely than your child being knocked over crossing the road may give you a greater sense of security but I'm not sure it makes you a better parent.

Ormirian · 02/02/2011 21:28

"More money spent = more I care about my child" I tend to agree with that.

MerryMarigold · 02/02/2011 21:56

Ormirian, that's a xenia type of comment. Purrlease.I get most of my kids' stuff from ebay, I don't pay for their education, and we eat reduced, going-out-of-date food. Obviously I don't give a stuff about them!

Ladybiscuit, I agree with you. Better to teach them to cross the road properly and not have earphones on whilst they're doing it than spend ridiculous amounts on 'safer products'.

I'm always surprised at how many accidents happen randomly to the most careful people...

Ormirian · 02/02/2011 22:00

LOL! I assumed that ladyb was saying it ironically, and I was agreeing with herGrin

My DC lived in cheap stuff and hand-me-downs a long as they'd let me get away with it.

Child-rearing has been accessorised in the same way that just everything else has. But with added guilt and sense of inadequacy if you don't buy the expensive one.

MerryMarigold · 02/02/2011 22:02

Phew, thanks for clarifying that! I really thought you agreed!! (Need to MN more so I 'know' you better, sorry Grin)

LadyBiscuit · 02/02/2011 22:07

My comment was most definitely ironic, for the avoidance of doubt :o

FellatioNelson · 02/02/2011 22:07

We have two sets of good friends, both intelligent, reasonably well educated middle class couples, who were never much bothered much about strapping their children into car seats, or even into seat-belts Shock once they were past about four. They'd just clamber around in the back. Confused It was always a mystery to me.

MerryMarigold · 02/02/2011 22:28

I got yours was ironic, ladybiscuit! Only half a brain tonight

edam · 02/02/2011 23:00

LadyB - the chances of you having a car accident are considerably higher than those of the sky falling in. Unless you are in Western Australia, of course...

edam · 02/02/2011 23:01

Or Eastern, even.

LadyBiscuit · 02/02/2011 23:19

West/east, whatever :o

But they are also significantly less than my DS being run over when he is on the street. And so very bloody unlikely that I'm not going to fork out £400 on a RF seat when my DS spends max an hour in the car a week (in an area where we rarely drive over 30mph). I have better things to spend my (ridiculously reduced) income on.

I have just bought him a lovely high backed booster seat with adjustable back and headrest for £25 from Asda. I'm happy with it

edam · 02/02/2011 23:31

Fine - don't know why you are addressing objections to rear-facing to me, it's really not my issue. And no, people don't need to spend £££ on the most expensive seat. I used to work for Which? (although not on cars) and the manufacturer's name or pricing doesn't guarantee quality. When I was at Which? you had the same manufacturer making good products and turkeys that fell apart in 40mph crashes or were extremely dangerous in side impact. Only way of telling which seats are safe and which are dangerous is to look at the test results - and Which? tests in particular because they are more thorough than the basic commercial/EU standard.

Swipe left for the next trending thread