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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really shocked that someone who I always see as highly intelligent etc

153 replies

icarriedawatermelon2 · 31/01/2011 20:59

can so so so so ignorant when it comes to car seats and safety?

At work today. Chatting over lunch about keeping my youngest son rear facing. Much respected work mate, who is so bright and intelligent literally mocks me for being OTT and revealing that he drives with his 7 year old on sofa cushion if he forgets her booster seat (no high back, just basic booster) and wouldn't in a million years keep a toddler rear facing as they are too demanding and need to see where they are going!

Then the whole room joins in with "Oh in my day we didn't have seats etc etc"

"x£ on a car seat you must be mad etc"

Left work feeling a bit crap to be honest :(

OP posts:
bumpsoon · 31/01/2011 22:21

This is a genuine question , if the seat is rear facing ,and someone rearends you ,are the forces not the same as if the child is facing forwards and you hit someone ? Useless at physics ,but intrigued . How much did your seats cost by the way ?

Original poster
icarriedawatermelon2 · 31/01/2011 22:23

How on earth has a thread about people in the office mocking me for caring about car seat safety turned into a "I am crap mother for keeping my child forward facing, "get rid of all cars" debate!?? I hate it when MN gets like this.

OP posts:
MerryMarigold · 31/01/2011 22:24

bumpsoon, I don't know much about physics, but I'm sure the 'crumple zone' (I think we did that at school at some point) on the front and back are different so being hit at the front and the back is very different anyway.

Agree with getting rid of your car to be really safe!

BuzzLightBeer · 31/01/2011 22:25

Clearly.

MerryMarigold · 31/01/2011 22:26

watermelon, I think it has got that way because of the inflammatory way you posted your OP...don't blame MN!

LemonDifficult · 31/01/2011 22:29

Look you took this way to seriously. Car seats, they're the law and you use them. Great.

Why you took this all to heart so much is the real issue. Get more secure in your parenting, lady!

thisisyesterday · 31/01/2011 22:30

dirtymartini thank you Grin

bumpsoon you are highly unlikely to have a fast rear-end crash

if 2 cars travelling at 30mph hit each other head on the combined force is 60mph

if you are travelling at 30mph and someone doing 50mph hits you in the back the force is only 20mph

obviously you could be stationary and have someone come into the back of you very fast, but that's quite unlikely to happen.

I believe more people die in head on collisions than any other kind of crash (but i may be mis-quoting that, tho it does make sense)- so you are protecting against the most likely and most serious type of accident

kaid100 · 31/01/2011 22:30

Given that it's a legal requirement to have a seat or booster up to the age of 12, YANBU.

Original poster
icarriedawatermelon2 · 31/01/2011 22:36

LemonDifficult thanks, I will! I know I am doing the best for my babies, and if others mock, well they can sod off (and hope they never get bashed in their car!).

OP posts:
bumpsoon · 31/01/2011 22:36

We must be super unlucky as a family then, given the only crashes we have had (except for the pheasant incident) have been when we have been stationary on the motorway and some numpty has driven into the back of us ,this has happened three times Shock.I understand the logic though now and it does make sense .

TheFallenMadonna · 31/01/2011 22:37

It's 135cm or 12, whichever comes sooner.

DS is 9. He's 158cm tall, and doesn't use a booster seat.

thisisyesterday · 31/01/2011 22:38

oh no! 3 times??? that really is unlucky. although they say things come in 3's, so maybe you won't ever have another crash?! lol

tiredfeet · 31/01/2011 22:43

Agree with dirty martini, he sounds like a cock (and *thisisyesterday has gorgeous children!)

Dancergirl · 31/01/2011 22:45

YANBU

Round here I see loads of people putting 3 year olds on booster cushions. Madness.

bumpsoon · 31/01/2011 22:46

How would people feel about buying a ERF seat second hand ? i know people get squeamish about carseats and buying second hand ,but if it were a cheaper option and you were certain it hadnt been in an accident then i would think about it .

thisisyesterday · 31/01/2011 22:59

if i knew the person i was getting it from, and trusted them then i would have no qualms about buying a second hand seat from them

i don't think i could risk it from ebay or anywhere like that though

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 31/01/2011 23:03

kaid - if you are going to state what is or isn't legal you need to get your facts correct.

YANBU - it is a bit of a suprise when someone you consider intelligent etc comes out with something you feel is incredibly stupid (no matter what that thing is or whether you are right or not).

If you can get one thing across to him you should focus on the fact that his DD is safer with nothing than a sofa cushion. The sofa cushion increases the chances of her coming out of the seat belt in an accident.

StuffingGoldBrass · 31/01/2011 23:03

The panic about second hand car seats is entirely driven by the manufacturers of car seats who want more of your money.

Glitterknickaz · 31/01/2011 23:13

Yanbu.
I had a crash at 27mph last year, sounds nothing but I had bruises from my seatbelt, as did DS1. He was in one of those cheapy tenner proper booster seats that the belt wraps round. A sofa cushion wouldn't have held him in the seat, he'd have dropped down and forward risking neck injuries.

As it was all we were was shaken.

MollysChambers · 31/01/2011 23:25

YANBU to research car seats and choose the one which you think is beat.

YABU to expect everyone else to agree with your decision.

YABU to judge your colleague for using a booster seat without a back for his seven year old.

For not using a booster on occasion? Meh, not ideal but in an emergency with a 7 year old? It's his call isn't it?

fiveisanawfullybignumber · 31/01/2011 23:36

YADNBU.
I've been to Britax head offices and seen crash tests being done. The forces that come from fairly low speed shunts are quite horrific.Shock
There is nothing unreasonable about doing everything you can to protect your child. It's what being a parent is all about.
Stuff what everyone else thinks, you're doing the right thing for your child..

fiveisanawfullybignumber · 31/01/2011 23:39

StuffingGoldBrass, you are talking absolute crap, let's hope nobody listens to you and buys a 2nd car seat with a fault that is dangerous!
Car seats are also unsafe once they are over about 4-5 yrs old, the plastic starts to degrade. Think about your plastic clothes pegs on the washing line, after a couple of years they get brittle and start to fall apart. Same principle!

BuzzLightBeer · 31/01/2011 23:46

do you put your car seats on the washing line?

thisisyesterday · 31/01/2011 23:49

scary vid on youtube showing a crash test done with an old britax seat

the plastic has become so brittle that on impact the harness is ripped out and the dummy flies out of the seat

pippibluestocking · 31/01/2011 23:53

Children do not require a high back to a booster seat when they are 7. With regards to safety, read Freakonomics. Although they do help in reducing minor injuries, eg. Fractures, in terms of reducing fatalities and life threatening injuries, they don't have much impact