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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ring dh and ask him to come home?

116 replies

Piggyleroux · 29/01/2011 20:15

Dh has gone out for bil birthday to a restaurant in canary wharf. Dh is a doctor and has had a mega busy week and has not been home til after 9pm every night this week. He is also working this weekend.

We have a ds ten months who is teething and wants to be on the move all the time. I am absolutely knackered and to top it off I have an abcess on my nipple for which I'm on antibiotics but it's making me feel feverish and really unwell.

I did ask dh not to go but bil is going through a split with my sister and dh feels he needs to support him during this rough time.

Dh left at 7, they are not sitting down to eat until 930 so it will at least 1 before they get home. I don't think I can manage. I know I sound pathetic but ds won't go to sleep and I need to get into bed I feel so rough.

Would ibu to ring dh?

OP posts:

Truckulente · 29/01/2011 21:57

Could save me from going to get a drink, still sounds like hard work though.

macdoodle · 29/01/2011 21:58

sounds like my XH, another very good reason why he is now an EX !
To be honest, its easier to be alone sick with sick kids, than sick alone with sick kids seeting with resentment because the person who SHOULD be supporting and caring for you isn't!

gaelicsheep · 29/01/2011 22:00

I think that when you feel too ill to look after your it isn't about being reasonable it's about being sensible and thinking of your wellbeing and that of your baby. Your DH is being unreasonable to leave you alone with your baby when you are clearly ill. Is there anyone else you can call to come over?

gaelicsheep · 29/01/2011 22:00

to look after your baby

TheSecondComing · 29/01/2011 22:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gaelicsheep · 29/01/2011 22:14

I think medical types are notorious for being totally unsympathetic with members of their own family.

pooka · 29/01/2011 22:17

I think he should a) not have gone and b) come home if rung by ill wife with sore mastitis and non-sleeping baby.

After all - she has been working all week, looking after ds. She will also be working tomorrow, while he's at work. Where is her time to rest and recuperate?

Bloody unfair IMO.

SummerRain · 29/01/2011 22:18

truckulante... hate to break it to you but breastmilk tastes pretty shit.

bit like chalky sugar water. I'd get a beer if I were you

Truckulente · 29/01/2011 22:21

SummerRain- I'll take your word for it. I can't see me having any more children so it looks like one of lifes little things I'll never do.

I wouldn't mind a cup of tea though.

Figgyrolls · 29/01/2011 22:22

Yup lots fo factors here, but am vividly remembering when I was very sick with flu and no voice (it so hurt to even try and speak!) and dh was on a stag weekend. The one and only time he didn't drive himself and any of our friends. Designated wanker driver ended up in casualty after drunken twatery accident and dh couldn't get back. Even though that wasn't his fault (tbf to him they weren't very near public transport although I would have been grateful if he'd tried!!), as a consequence I called him every 30 mins to irritate the wanker other bloke.

Besides if you aren't a single parent household wtf should you have to do all the childcare all the time?

gaelicsheep · 29/01/2011 22:24

SummerRain - I'm so glad you said that. I tasted mine and thought there must be something wrong with it!

spidookly · 29/01/2011 22:27

The most insulting thing is that he's playing the "I'm so caring" card to make out he's the good guy and is having a nice night out of a sense of duty.

A decent, caring man would still be at home.

People who expect their partners to endure misery of any kind so they can please themselves are wankers.

Maybe it's great if two selfish wankers who prefer drinking to being kind get together, but I wouldn't want to be one of their children.

ChaoticAngelofAnarchy · 29/01/2011 22:33

I agree with spidookly.

I'm speaking as a lone parent, although mine are teenagers now, who has had to deal with sick kids alone.

fairylights · 29/01/2011 22:45

Hopefully you are both asleep by now but i would definitely have phoned my dh - although I don't think he would have gone out in the first place under the circumstances..he is wonderful but also would be too scared of me being furious ( i know this is what he would say!)
but being married to a medic does seem to = no sympathy from the experience of my friends!
Much sympathy from me anyway.

Mobly · 30/01/2011 08:37

Hope you managed to get some rest in the end op. I hope your DH redeemed himself by helping during the night.

SummerRain · 30/01/2011 11:57

gaelicsheep.... nope, not just you. There was thread on MN ages ago where a few of us had tasted it and we all concurred that it was rank. Lord only knows why ds2 prefers it to milk in a bottle

OP, hope you got some sleep in the end and the ABs are starting to work.

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