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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think women in men's changing rooms is a bit off

113 replies

notinbed · 29/01/2011 00:24

Took 18mo son to his swimming lesson yesterday (my wife normally takes him, but she was sick). In the changing room when I get out is a school group getting changed to go swimming supervised by a couple of women. Meant that instead of stripping off completely as I normally would I ended up keeping my trunks on until they'd gone - makes it rather more awkward trying to keep son's clothes dry as I get him changed. I suppose I could have used one of the two cubucles (one in use by a woman getting changed) rather than the communal area, but that makes it so much more hassle when getting stuff out of a locker trying to get a little one changed.

Kind of wish I'd not been there last week and seen the women go in - otherwise I don't think I'd have known, so would have taken trunks off in the shower before trooping in, as it was I bottled it, having suggested to wife I'd just strip off. What do you think the reaction would have been if I'd done that - not like I can be done for indecency in a malke changing room?

OP posts:
manicbmc · 29/01/2011 00:28

Go in a cubicle in future. If you swim during school hours then there is half a chance that a school group may be there. I'm quite sure they wouldn't want to see you.

manicbmc · 29/01/2011 00:29

And also, yes you can be.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 29/01/2011 00:33

No he can't in a communal room...

The school kids go in the family room at our baths, or the ladies/mens room

bubblewrapped · 29/01/2011 00:38

YABU there were cubicles provided, so there shouldnt have been any problem.

GreenEyesandHam · 29/01/2011 00:38

If it's a Male changing room, then I can't see a problem.

I think any female who happened to be situated in the Male changing room, should, quite frankly, prepare to encounter the prospect of males err, changing

Or have I gone completely bonkers Confused

outnumbered2to1 · 29/01/2011 00:40

why were there FEMALES in the MALE changing area? or have i had one glass of Vino too many tonight and misread that post?

Original poster
notinbed · 29/01/2011 00:44

So I have to significantly put myself out because there are people in there who shouldn't be? If it was the other way round, would you be suggesting women should use cubicles because there are men supervising kids in the womens'?(it's a lot more hassle to have to gather everything up when I'm wet and avoid it all getting wet, rather than work straight out of the locker as I always do when using another pool with communal single sex changing).

I should point out that the nudity doesn't bother me at all, I'm simply concerned about their reaction to it - maybe next time I'll just "forget" when I'm in the shower.

OP posts:
manicbmc · 29/01/2011 00:49

They were teachers supervising a group of school kids.

Their reaction would probably be that they'd seen more meat on a chipolata.

And I'd expect a female to exercise the same kind of respect if they were swimming in a pool where school kids go during school hours.

mutznutz · 29/01/2011 00:50

The women should not have been in a male changing room..simple!

They either need to get a male teacher to supervise or change their swimming time to schools only.

mutznutz · 29/01/2011 00:52

Their reaction would probably be that they'd seen more meat on a chipolata.

How rude and insulting to the OP Hmm

If I were getting changed in the LADIES changing room and a male school teacher strolled in, I would not be happy at all..no matter what their reaction.

manicbmc · 29/01/2011 00:55

I may possibly have had a small drinkette. Just thought this was an odd thread to start at this time of night.

Then thought, mmm time difference etc. Then realised there is no edit feature!

I apologise to the OP.

Original poster
notinbed · 29/01/2011 00:55

How rude and insulting to the OP
That's alright - I know I'm hung like a donkey (hence a bit bothered about them all staring) Wink

OP posts:
GreenEyesandHam · 29/01/2011 00:58

Lol :o

I did wonder why someone was getting arsey about a man being nuddy in a MALE changing room

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 29/01/2011 00:59

Haha, I wouldn't even attempt to get changed in a single cubicle with my ds, far too small

fishtankneedscleaning · 29/01/2011 01:01

I think women and girls over the age of 7 should use the female changing room. Men and boys over 7 should use the male changing room.

If a parent is uncomfortable with their child using a different changing room on their own then use the family cubicles. In our swimming pool they are situated before you reach the male or female changing rooms.

I hate it when I take my girls swimming and there are older boys in the female changing room with their mum.

The boy is embarrassed, my girls, especially 9 year old, are embarrassed and refuse to shower or undress because there is a boy in the room.

I hate it even more when a preteen boy is buck naked in the FEMALE shower.

mutznutz · 29/01/2011 01:06

Lmao manic he's hung like a donkey apparently so no worries Wink

I think a lot of pools need to sort out the layout. My pool is the same as fishtanks and there are family cubicles away from the communal changing.

Actually (being 41 and an old timer) when I was young there was no such thing as communual changing...and thank god too!!

All the cubicles were at the side of the pool...you had to squeeze in like sardines with your kids or stick them in the cubicle nextdoor but we all managed.

ravenAK · 29/01/2011 01:06

Unless they've booked the pool & changing area, I should think you'd be quite entitled to strip off as per usual...

Do female teachers usually supervise boys getting changed? I'm assuming this is primary - in secondary you'd certainly need a male staff member to be in the changing room if needed.

I'm not suggesting that there's any reason why female staff shouldn't supervise primary age lads changing - just that if it's a male changing area in a public pool, it does obviously create a problem for other customers such as the OP!

Original poster
notinbed · 29/01/2011 01:08

Good point ACT - I'd not even checked out the size of the cubicles, but they don't seem all that big.

OP posts:
bubblewrapped · 29/01/2011 01:08

My local pool is used by schools, and there is a notice that you cant miss on the female changing room door to say there may be male attendants or teaching staff in the changing rooms.

Not all pools have family changing rooms.

And I cant see why its a hassle to use a cubicle. You take your towel out of your locker first if you havent already got it with you, then wrap it around you, Carry your clothes to the cubicle, and get dried off and changed.

manicbmc · 29/01/2011 01:11

Also 41 but not an oldtimer lol

I occasionally accompany school groups to swimming. But they have 2 designated 'group rooms' for schools to use. So it really isn't an issue.

And I demand a round of applause for being able to spell after having had, maybe, slightly too much to drink. Grin

mutznutz · 29/01/2011 01:15

(gives manic a standing ovation)

either you're using spellcheck or you're drinking crappy low alcohol shit Grin

LadyWellian · 29/01/2011 01:21

manicbmc [claps]

The pool my DD goes to with school (or went to, they don't seem to do it in Y6) had group changing, and as they had a male teacher in Y5 the teacher went with the boys and I or someone else's mum went with the girls.

The pool she has her lessons in doesn't, but they do have signs saying children over 8 must change in the appropriate (ie their own gender) changing room.

However, as primary school staff are still overwhelmingly female I can see how the OP's situation would arise. TAs in particular are very unlikely to be male so unless there is a male class teacher I can't see a way round it, other than leaving the boys to it, which also wouldn't be ideal.

However, I don't think the OP IBU. I'm just not sure of the way around it.

Original poster
notinbed · 29/01/2011 01:22

I cant see why its a hassle to use a cubicle.
Did you miss the bit about having a small child with me (who I was carrying because he was a bit tired and upset)?

OP posts:
manicbmc · 29/01/2011 01:24

feels deeply insulted

Bottle of rather nice rose. And a small brandy. Time for bed though, I think.

Spellcheck!!! The very idea Hmm Grin

mutznutz · 29/01/2011 01:25

Still though you'd manage in a small cubicle with a child...not ideal but not everything in life is to be fair.

Lady that's a fair point about the staff being mainly female but still I think if the pool is open to the public then they should be made aware that women may be in the male changing rooms.