to dislike dh's expressions for doing a poo

[Longstocking2]

I particularly dislike:
"I'm just going to drop the kids off at the pool."

and

"I'm just going to go and log on"

Sometimes he spares me all artifice and just says, unadorned "I've got to go and take a s**t now"

Charmant!

dh says he is

"going to empty me cavity"

arghhhhhhhhhh

Think it's rude Gogopops

my DP likes to "crimp one off"

I agree with onehotmamma - it's not the pre-poo description I object to, it's the post-poo debrief. I do not need to know! Tempting to get him a Bristol stool chart from work.....

How very odd.

My husband has never once seen fit to inform me when he is going to use the loo.

I can't see what possible use this information is.

What are we supposed to say to it?

Oh good
Well done dear
Congratuations
Have fun
Hope it's a big and smelly one
I'll come and have a look once you're done

[boggle]

strange creatures you folks have

HeCat, I DID have an ex who said, 'come and look at this, it's huge!' because he was proud of filling the pan. Needless to say, he's an ex...

my eldest son does it. "Come and look MONSTER POO!" and we go and we let out gasps of amazement and joy.

He's a) autistic, and
b) an 11 yr old boy

so I forgive him.

Just.

But it's just plain weird, isn't it?

Oh my lord-I literally have tears rolling down my face- love MN and po threads! Am loving 'shart' and victor-LOL!!! My DH is like a dog-poos after every meal,but can only go at home,so always have to make a dash for it if go out for dinner :o He does always describe his doings too-romance?ha ha ha

Cant remember what my Ex used to say, probably more factual than flowery ie going for a shit. Nice

My family expression was 'going to have a good clearout' My dad also used to refer to 'dropping a depth charge'

DS1 now uses the turtles head one, even though it makes me wince. And every time either he or DS2 fart they ask the other if they followed through, or was it a wettie?

Ick.

DH says (if going later in the day) going to park my breakfast... or if in the morning, going to park my dinner??? He thinks it's funny any way.

My brothers use the drop the kids off at the pool. Or going to release some hostages.

DH can also be amazingly descriptive when he feels like it!

In our family we sing "Gotta dump, gotta dump, gotta dump dump dump" to the William Tell Overture music.

My DH also gives a very detailed report when he emerges from the bathroom too.

These are all funny but I don't understand the need to inform the family either. Maybe because we've got such a small house there's no mistaking where you are :)

lol @ eartha kitt

Now, I like toilet humour but the men do have the edge on the having-a-poo terminology.

dh says 'I'm touching cloth' which I find ever so funny.

There is no need to inform the family. It is just funny. A way of sharing a laugh.

My dh has a variety of delightful phrases also. I think they come from Viz.

Isn't 'dropping nachor in poo bay' a term fo rhomosexual relations rather than poo??

Either way i am dying with laughter at these and am delighted to say that no one has used my DPs favourite yet -

'Better pop to the loo, I'm drawing with the brown crayon'

Actually I think YABU for expecting an adult to refer to it as "doing a poo".

I love some of the wonderfully inventive alternative expressions people have shared here.

Does anyone else have a partner from foreign climbs who says 'make' a poo or wee rather than 'do' ?

My stepson and husband both say they are "going for a turn out"...

which we discovered was also the name for a parking space as we drove through America last year... and would see signposts for "turnout" every few miles...

thanks for the definition of 'funny'. I had that bit covered if you'd bothered to read the rest of what I wrote.

'Off to drop some timber' is a favourite expression in our house. Not from me though. I think all the males say it merely to repulse me. Although secretly it is quite amusing.

My DH says he is "off to visit the ablution block" which to be fair to him, seems to be quite a gentlemanly way of ordering me out of earshot (he's very private about his toilet habits, bless him).

Without doubt the best one I have ever heard is this:

"Just off to cast Churchill's reflection"

...it took me a couple of secs to cotton on to the meaning but when I did I realised it was pure genius!

Why do adults say anything at all? When it's my turn I don't announce where I'm going and what I'm going to do - I'm sure no-one wants to know!

Planet earth - In our house its so that we can have a bit of privacy and I don't get DH wandering upstairs to chat to me, or walk past the bathroom when i'm on the loo. We're both quite private about it really (never heard my DH poop in 8 years together!), and I don't really think the sounds of him doing a poo is something I need to bear witness to! I know some people don't mind and would probably even say that we're uptight but that's just how we are and it works for us.

If he says he's off "to the ablution block" or "going to the loo" with a bit of a knowing look, I tend to keep away from the bathroom until he comes back down stairs again.

My very geeky DH once announced to me that he was 'dropping the hobbits off at Isingard'

Still it's better than 'giving birth to a food baby'...