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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in not being impressed with DH?

29 replies

NorthernerAtHeart · 27/01/2011 18:57

.....for drinking well over a bottle wine when left in charge of the 3 DC over night?
It was the first time since DC3 was born and 2nd time ever being left with them.
Obviously I'm not impressed, but who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 27/01/2011 18:59

How much over is 'well over'?

Was he alone or did a friend come round?

How long a period did he take to drink it?

spidookly · 27/01/2011 18:59

Was he on his own?

Does he usually drink too much?

MoonGirl1981 · 27/01/2011 19:00

Depends on his alcohol tollerance.

I'm a lightweight, so don't touch the stuff but I'm sure plenty of people can drink a fair bit and still be 'sober'.

NinkyNonker · 27/01/2011 19:02

Dh could drink a little easily and be sober (6'5", big man). Not legal to drive obviously, but sober enough to be responsible.

Me? Not so much. On the floor after a whole glass right now.

AnyFucker · 27/01/2011 19:03

Have you agreed to be completely teetotal when in sole charge of dc ?

DH and I are not

tbh, you don't give enough detail

a bottle of wine would not touch my DH's sides, and I wouldn't expect him to drink nothing eg. if it was a weekend, friends had visited earlier, we didn't live in the sticks and he would have to drive in an emergency etc

more on age of children, any health concerns, a drinking problem, a school night, whatevever is required...

NinkyNonker · 27/01/2011 19:03

Sorry, drink a bottle easily. Obviously he could drink a little easily... Confused

TallulahDoesTheHula · 27/01/2011 19:03

If it was his first time ever left with DC3 then it sounds like he is still a fairly small baby and likely to be waking up and needing attention. If thats the case I would not be impressed at all as DH would be much harder to wake up after more than a bottle of wine!

AnyFucker · 27/01/2011 19:04

tallulah, not necessarily a small baby

brightlightsandpromises · 27/01/2011 19:13

on the fence on this one because i will polish off a bottle of wine and be perfectly capable of looking after DD alone Blush although DD is 5 now. The problem i have is if, god forbid, something were to happen, like the children being taken ill and needing taking to doctors/casualty and the sole carer was unable to drive? Saying that, i don't drive and that certainly doesn't mean i shouldnt be left alone with DD. Also, DP sometimes has some wine with me (if im feeling generous!) he does drive but after a couple of glasses of wine wouldnt want to drive, to be fair, he rarely has more than one glass - got to be quick in this house!!

AnyFucker · 27/01/2011 19:19

if there was an emergency, call an ambulance or use a taxi if in an urban area

very rural areas, yes maybe someone in the house has to be stone cold sober

at weekends, both DH and I will drink over the driving limit, so what ?

I am on my 2nd glass of red right now, and DH is out, 2 kids in the house

how terrible am I ?

nzshar · 27/01/2011 19:28

My DP is blind and unable to drive am I supposed to be tee total? I figure if anything goes wrong and someone needs the hospital I will call ambulance or taxi. I do not get absolutely falling down drunk but a few is fine....and someones few is anothers too many IYSWIM

DublinMammy · 27/01/2011 19:36

Extremely jealous of AnyFucker, DH working late, DS in bed and winerack empty. Bugger.

Original poster
NorthernerAtHeart · 27/01/2011 19:38

Ok, maybe i AMB a little U.
Kids 6,3 and 1.
Probably a bottle and a half?
When we're both here, I'll have a glass of wine with him, sometimes 2, so I wouldn't be able to drive. At the weekend he will often drink a bottle. He is certainly pretty drunk on it though and will ignore the children until I get them and won't be rapidly sobered with them being sick, falling out of bed etc.
He had a stinking hangover after.
I don't know.....maybe just thought as it was my first night out/away in ages (years!) he could have been a bit more controlled.
He was on his own, yes.
Thanks!!

OP posts:
NancyDrewHasaClue · 27/01/2011 19:41

Agree with AF we need some more details but on the face of it YABU unless you had a specific agreement that he would not drink whilst in charge of the DC.

I have no issue in principle with someone drinking whilst caring for DC.

AnyFucker · 27/01/2011 19:44

I don't think you are completely BU

if he was pissed and had a stinking hangover..then we are talking something a little different ?

what does he say about it ?

Ormirian · 27/01/2011 19:46

You feel that when he is in sole charge he should be 100% on top of things, so that you can feel totally relaxed about leaving them? Just as you would be if the tables were turned. Which I can sort of understand but possibly a bit unreasonable and slightly dog-in-the-mangerish.

However I would think that generally getting that pissed isn't that good an idea in the circs.

Truckulente · 27/01/2011 19:48

I don't think someone looking after a 6,3 and a 1 year old on their own should drink 1 and a 1/2 bottles of wine.

AnyFucker · 27/01/2011 19:49

you see, after my 2 glasses (ok, 3...) I will stop

which renders me unable to drive

but still "with-it"

and no stinking hangover which impacts on childcare the next day....

spidookly · 27/01/2011 19:56

Agree 1.5 bottles of wine, enough to give yourself a stinking hangover, means you were too drunk to be in sole charge of such little children.

Is he developing a bit of a wine problem?

It's an easy habit to get into - wine is strong and goes down easy and people kid themselves it's "respectable" to drink it.

Original poster
NorthernerAtHeart · 27/01/2011 19:59

.....now have glass of wine in hand!!

But I will stop after this one.

I guess that's the thing Ormirian - he never has to think about this, as he is always able to assume that I'll be ok to deal with whatever.

He dismissed it completely, but that's not a surprise.

Good to know I'm not totally barking up the wrong tree anyway.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 27/01/2011 19:59

OP...do you think your partner has a drinking problem ?

Original poster
NorthernerAtHeart · 27/01/2011 22:16

That's a good question AF. He drinks a lot less than he used to - now 3 bottles of a wine a week (we agreed on an amount per week to go with the family shopping when it was getting nearer a bottle a day and unnecessarily expenisive with mat pay).
Several social occasions where he has had far more than appropriate (throwing up on our wedding aniv., almost there at a friends wedding...)
Does have some nights per week (1 or 2) with no drink.......

OP posts:
JamieLeeCurtis · 27/01/2011 22:22

Sounds like a lot for one person to drink on his own, whether he's looking after DCs or not, to me.

JamieLeeCurtis · 27/01/2011 22:23

spiddookly - I agree with your last line

JamieLeeCurtis · 27/01/2011 22:26

Also, if you are worried he's got a drink problem, maybe no coincidence he drank this much when you went out

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