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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want the downs syndrome test

88 replies

PrincessScrumpy · 23/01/2011 20:02

I've never been a betting person so to get odds as to whether you baby is one way or another seems pointless to me. I'd just spend pg stressing. DH and I have a strong relationship and one dd. We didn't test with her and don't think we'll get tested this time. We wouldn't abort anyway so would there be any point?

Am I unusual? All my friends have had the test.

OP posts:
pjmama · 23/01/2011 20:04

I didn't. The results would have been irrelevant to us as we would have gone ahead anyway. Also the test carries a small risk which we weren't willing to take anyway. I know others who feel the same so no, you're not unusual. The tests are available if you want them, but it's personal choice.

mankyscotslass · 23/01/2011 20:05

No, I never had the test either, with any of my 3. I had them at 31, 33, and 35.

But If I ever became pregnant again, I might.

TattyDevine · 23/01/2011 20:06

Just dont have the test and dont let them talk you into it if you feel this way.

teenyanne · 23/01/2011 20:06

It's a very personal decision. I decided to have the test, so that I could prepare and inform myself for after by babt was born if there was a higher risk of downs syndrome. My sister decided not to as, like you she wouldn't have considered termination anyway.

Only you and your dh's opinions matter, nevermind what everyone else did.

TeeBee · 23/01/2011 20:06

No me neither, waste of time for me. Wouldn't change anything for me either way.

BluddyMoFo · 23/01/2011 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pagwatch · 23/01/2011 20:07

I had the test with dd but only because I already have a very disabled child.
Dh and I were comfortable with the idea of having another child with issue but, as the eldest of potentially two younger siblings with issues, we wanted a heads up so we could explain to ds1. He was 10 and would have loved a sibling with ds as much as he loves his brother . But he would need things explained. Iyswim.

pagwatch · 23/01/2011 20:08

Ooops, so should say only have it If you want to. If we hadn't had ds1 we wouldn't have

HumphreyCobbler · 23/01/2011 20:09

Of course you don't have to have a test.

I do want to point out that the test is for other, possibly life threatening conditions such as Edwards or Patau's syndrome. People only ever seem to think of Down Syndrome when having these discussions.

The blood test/nuchal only give a probability anyway.

NightLark · 23/01/2011 20:09

I didn't with my other two and I haven;t with this pregnancy (at 39/40 years old).

At my age I won't get reassuring numbers from the scan/bloods, and I didn't want to go down the route of invasive testing.

Anything devastating will be picked up at the 20 weeks scan (tomorrow). Anything else is not an issue.

I think people mostly have it to be reassured - I knew it wouldn't work that way for me, so I haven't had it. It's not compulsory.

NinkyNonker · 23/01/2011 20:09

I didn't.

reallytired · 23/01/2011 20:10

I didn't have the test. I work in a special school and I know two children with Downs. I don't think I could go through with a termination.

Learning difficulties can happen to any baby. There are loads of learning difficulites that cannot be detected.

The two girls I know with Downs can both be difficult and stroppy, but their lives are still worthwhile. Many people with downs can get qualifications, jobs and live independent lives. Downs is not a death sentence.

TattyCatty · 23/01/2011 20:10

I refused all ante-natal testing and would do again. It took me 2 years of surgery and fertility treatment to conceive DD, and went through hell in the early weeks of my pregnancy being told that I was having an ectopic / blighted ovum (clearly I wasn't!). I could not put DH and myself through yet more "what ifs" linked to a probability figure, and wouldn't have taken the risks associated with Amnio / CVS, no matter how small they may be.

Em3978 · 23/01/2011 20:10

We didn't have the blood tests or the scan test either. We would have kept our baby whatever the odds so didn't bother finding out.
If its going to make no difference to the way you feel about your baby, if you're going to caryy on whatever, then why have it. (though I have known a couple of families find out one way or the other so that they could purely prepare themselves - and did go on to have downs children, they just knew what they were letting themselves in for.)

EveryonesJealousOfGingers · 23/01/2011 20:10

I didn't, for exactly the reasons you have stated. If we had had higher odds, we would not have proceeded to amnio or CVS (is that right term?) due to risk of miscarriage, so decided not to have initial test at all. We felt that although it would of course be difficult, we are capable of providing a loving home to a child whoever it was that arrived.

TrillianAstra · 23/01/2011 20:10

If you wouldn't do anything with the information then there is no need to have the test.

MissQue · 23/01/2011 20:11

I never considered it for one moment. It's not something that was routinely offered to me as I was in my early 20s when I had my second, and last, child, so I was considered too young anyway to run a high risk. I still wouldn't have the test done if I got pg now, in my late 30s, I know too many children with Down's Syndrome and couldn't bear the thought of terminating a child like them.

However, because my youngest is severely autistic, I have chosen not to have any more, simply because her needs are too much for either of us to cope with a new baby.

themildmanneredjanitor · 23/01/2011 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cece · 23/01/2011 20:11

I had the test with DD at age of 33 - all fine

I had the test with DS1 at age of 36 - all fine

I had the test at DC3 at the age of 40 - came back high risk. It was then that I really really wish I hadn't had the test. Was very stressed. Hospital staff all assuming I would then have an amnio (too late for CVS). I didn't have any further testing, as I wouldn' have been able to abort anyway. I then went on to mc at 19 weeks.

I did not have the test with DS2 at 41. The right decision for me.

clevercloggs · 23/01/2011 20:12

if it wouldnt make any difference, no point in testing

sharbie · 23/01/2011 20:12

i didn't

TheSecondComing · 23/01/2011 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArsMamatoria · 23/01/2011 20:12

'would there be any point?' Well I suppose that it might give you a bit of time to make extra preparations regarding any help you would receive, reading up on it etc. I would imagine that doing all that with a newborn would increase the stress.

diddl · 23/01/2011 20:15

I didn´t have the test as I knew I couldn´t have an amnio if "necessary".

eviscerateyourmemory · 23/01/2011 20:17

I think that the takeup of the screening test is around 60%, so not unusual to not want it.