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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want the downs syndrome test

88 replies

PrincessScrumpy · 23/01/2011 20:02

I've never been a betting person so to get odds as to whether you baby is one way or another seems pointless to me. I'd just spend pg stressing. DH and I have a strong relationship and one dd. We didn't test with her and don't think we'll get tested this time. We wouldn't abort anyway so would there be any point?

Am I unusual? All my friends have had the test.

OP posts:

walkinZombie · 23/01/2011 21:21

your baby , your choice IMO
if youre happy with it then theres no problem

shinyrobot · 23/01/2011 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsPav · 23/01/2011 21:22

I just want to pont out that having any tests in pregnancy is not necessarily indicative of planning to terminate in any case.

As the parent of a disabled DS I can vouch as to the possibility of being prepared for this as being useful to many parents.

MoonUnitAlpha · 23/01/2011 21:25

I didn't have the blood test - I wouldn't have risked an amnio and they don't do the nuchal scan where I am, so didn't seem any point for me.

BlueCat2010 · 23/01/2011 21:26

Have skipped the main part of the thread, but just wanted to say don't be pushed into this test if you don't want it.

I am an older Mum and had to put up with the shocked expressions on several occasions because I didn't want the test, even to the point where a stand in midwife said 'oh, you haven't had your test yet - I'd better book you in', whilst reaching for the phone. Thankfully DH was there and wouldn't let her do it, otherwise I would have not been able to stop her.

Like you, I would never consider an abortion, so it is entirely pointless having the test as I wouldn't have done anything about it if it had turned out to be positive.

Chica31 · 23/01/2011 21:32

As many people have said it isn't just a test for DD. I was talked into having it as I believed I would never terminate. However, the triple test showed trisomy 18, but the amnio showed our baby had trisomy 9, which is a very serious terminal condition.

Also ask what the risks are at the hospital that do the amnio. I understand the statistics that are banded around are very out of date.

Firawla · 23/01/2011 21:38

with my first ds i never had the blood tests for down syndrome but then i went to 20 week scan and they started to tell me he has all these markers for down syndrome, things wrong with his heart etc, so that scared me a bit and just got the bloods done @ that point just to find out whether there were any issues or not, and it came back very low risk so felt like i should have done them at the start as the only reason they mentioned these things at scan was because i did not have the test done, as knowing i had a very low risk would have made them more of a non issue apparently? so it caused me worry for nothing i felt. so had the blood test for ds2 when it was first offered, just for reassurance and probably will do the same this time and have the nuchal scan thing that is now offered. although would not have any of the risky ones at all eg amnio, and would not want to terminate anyway if my child had ds but sometimes just for peace of mind its better to have the blood test i found, so you atleast know the risk level and would worry less
but if you dont want any of it then yanbu its your choice

princesspuds · 23/01/2011 21:41

Chelstonmum, she does indeed thrive, people are amazed at how active she is despite being paralysed from the chest down, when I see what she has to go through everyday and what she has to live with for the rest of her life, I feel so proud that she is my dd and so inspired by her

LadyOfTheFlowers · 23/01/2011 21:43

In response to OP....

In 2005 when I had DS1 I was not offered the test as it wasn't offered unless you were 30+ then so I didn't have it. (age 22)

Nor did I for DS2. (age 23)

I was offered it but didn't have it for DS3 (age 26)

Again, was offered for DD but didn't have it. (age 27)

When they started to offer them, on bith occaisions the MW tried to get me to have it done - rolling her eyes when I said we wouldn't abort anyway - and told me I had to wait a week and discuss with DH before I declined.
I declined the next day when he came home from work and said he agreed with me.

I don't think you are odd at all.

Georgimama · 23/01/2011 21:50

I've refused it twice now, with DS and with this pregnancy, and the MWs didn't bat an eyelid at my refusal. In fact both said the same thing - that if I didn't intend to have CVS/amnio/termination then there was no point having the tests. In any case coming back with a low risk from the triple test doesn't mean the 1 in 2000 or 1 in 5000 won't be you.

I'm surprised people have had their MWs try to talk them into it.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 23/01/2011 21:54

She kept asking me if I was sure when I had quite definately given my answer, said I had to discuss with DH and that as I already had 2 children was I sure I could handle it if the baby was born with special needs.

In my emotional state i got a bit pissed of with it.

Also, had to go to the hosp to see consultant as DS2 was a big baby and he also pointed out from my notes i had declined the test.

'I see you have declined the tests...?'

VivaLeBeaver · 23/01/2011 21:56

The only thing I'd maybe consider is that if you had the blood test/nuchal fold and it came back with a high probability. You could go down the route of declining invasive amnio/CVS but could have a detailed scan with a consultant to get a good look at any possible heart abnormalities which can accompany Down's syndrome. Then if you knew there was also a cardiac problem there could be a plan of what was going to be done about it when, operation wise.

marzipananimal · 23/01/2011 21:59

Like lots of posters here I didn't have the test as I wouldn't have wanted an amnio or CVS if I'd come back as high risk. The midwife agreed this was sensible
(I didn't know about the conditions other than downs though)

irishsusan · 23/01/2011 22:27

I didn't have any tests as it took two years to get pregnant. I had my son at age 39 and he has Down's Syndrome, but I wouldn't swop him for the world, he has brought great joy to our lives and is funny, naughty, clever and loving. I think people need to know and learn about the condition before making a decision about the test and whether you want to continue the pregnancy. If people knew more about it, then hopefully less people would terminate their pregnancy because their child is not perfect.

DuelingFanjo · 23/01/2011 22:30

yanbu, it's up to you.
I had it because I would have terminated, it's an entirely personal decision.

wouldliketoknow · 23/01/2011 22:34

doesn't matter either way,but it would do no harm, only the amniocentesis maight do and if you are at higher risk you can start reserching now to be better prepared when the time comes...
congratulatios

bumpsoon · 23/01/2011 22:38

I didnt test with any of mine ,including the last who i had at 38 , the point is if you are happy to have a child regardless of their possible abilities in life then the tests are pointless. Also a 20 week scan can often detect abnormalities including downs syndrome ,so you would have plenty of time to prepare ,if it showed up at this point .

ladysybil · 23/01/2011 22:39

to th eop, no, you arent unusual.

OpenAmyrillis · 23/01/2011 22:52

My mother had the test when pregnant with my younger brother, and due to confusion about dates of conception they advised her to terminate the pregnancy as he was expected to be severely disabled. He was born a healthy and completely normal baby, can't remember if this post is constructive anymore but i'm sleepy! sorry OP!

tallwivglasses · 23/01/2011 23:17

I'm amazed women here were still offered the test if they weren't prepared to have an abortion if it proved positive.

I was 39, wanted the blood test but not amneo because of the risk...to prepare myself for the possibility of ds.

I was refused the blood test because it wasn't 'worth the cost' if I wasn't prepared to abort.

I went on to have a beautiful child who has autism, and frankly, though it's maybe a different discussion, I was glad there was no test for autism.

AnnOnimous · 23/01/2011 23:29

I didn't test with either of mine, cos I would have kept the baby regardless.

CarolinaRua · 24/01/2011 09:35

I wouldnt and always refer back to what a friend said when she had a DD with Downs.

She, like me, didnt have the test and was glad as she didnt think about the baby as a 'Downs baby' but instead felt that rush of love and protective instinct when she held her DD for the first time. She has of course been through a variety of emotions but this made sense to me,

Mishy1234 · 24/01/2011 10:18

I had a nuchal scan privately with DS1 (in our area they didn't do them on the NHS at the time). Due to a variety of factors (including it was an IVF pregnancy) it came back quite high risk. Due to that I decided to have an amnio, which thankfully went ok.

It's such a personal thing and I think you're entirely reasonable not to have the tests if you don't want to. Also, like others have already said detailed scans can also be useful.

EllieDawn · 25/01/2011 17:14

I am definitely not going to have the double test the next time I am pregnant. When I was pregnant with my daughter I had it and the risk came back as 1:84 for down's and I was called back to the hospital. The midwife who I dealt with was lovely, but as soon as I said I didn't want the amnio and wouldn't consider termination she said in that case I should never have had the original test. They did give me a detailed scan at 17 weeks and again at 21 weeks to check for soft markers but we didn't know for sure until DD was born that she didn't have down's or any other chromosomal abnormalities, she is perfect. I don't want the test the next time as I feel it gave me unnecessary stress and worry when pregnant over nothing, and any major abnormalities can be picked up by scans anyway.

valiumredhead · 25/01/2011 18:01

I didn't want the tests - my dh did. The hospital was a teaching hospital and I felt really pressured by them into having them. I had to be extremely assertive and make it VERY clear I didn't want the tests.

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