to hate my daughters step mother

[kazmus]

My beautiful 24 year old daughter died after a long and difficult stay in hospital following heart surgery. During the time she divulged that her step mother has complained that she was being too precious about her coming surgery and that her father had not stood up for her. This ghastly woman never visited my daughter once during her 5 months, but turned up 5 hours before she died and proceeded to sit bt her bedside until she died, although my daughter did not want her there. I lost those last hours and the right to speak to my daughter freely due to her presence. My daughter had written to this woman telling her exactly what she thought of her but my ex tore up the letter before she could read it. I feel such anger towards her

kazmus i am so sorry for your loss. There is a group on here for Bereaved Parents come and join us We have Mums on there who have lost grown up children and babies too.

How utterly hideous. I can't imagine how angry you are at this time but I can imagine would be angry too. Angry doesn't quite cover it really. I hope you get lots of help on the bereaved parents forum

Im so very sorry to read such a sad post about your precious girl. There is no death no sad as that of a child....no matter what age that child is.

Could I please second Lottie's post to come and join a wonderful group of ladies. We all help each other and prop each other up when one of us is having a really bad day. Ladies of all ages whose children have died. Believe it or not, its not always a sad place - its our 'safe haven.'

What that bloody stupid woman did was disgusting. I think you have every single right to be furious and you are most certainly not unreasonable at all.

I lost a baby twin son (7 months) many years ago and my 7 year old third son was knocked down by a lorry and killed 10 years later.

When DS3 was killed my in laws came around and told us all about their various hospital and doctors appointments for the next few weeks hardly mentioned my son. Some people are so weird that you have to pity them.

Your daughter sounds amazing. I can imagine how much you miss her. Please come and join us - we will all try and help xxxxx

me too - I really hope they can give you some support and I totally get what you mean about not commenting - feel free to rant away and just get it all out!!

you really are such wonderful support thank you so much

kazmus I'm so sorry to hear of your daughter. She sounds a really special girl. Everything you're feeling is completely normal, and it is ok to be angry and its ok to be unreasonable. Your child has died and that isn't supposed to happen in the natural order of things. You are completely justified to feel the way you do towards this woman.

I second what shab and lottie have said. please come over to our special thread. We are women who've had lots of different experiences and lots children of all ages. Although I cannot understand what it is like to lose an older child I know the pain you're feeling as a grieving mother. My DD was born sleeping in June. There is another regular poster who has lost a grown up child and I'm sure she would be an especially helpful support to you right now.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/bereavement/1088644-Flying-high-enjoying-their-wings-Remembering-our-precious-much-loved-children?pg=34

Lots of love and gentle wishes coming your way. xx

Kazmus - I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter and understand why you feel so angry towards her step mother. Please do join our speacial thread, as Caz said there is a regular poster who has lost a grown up child who I'm sure would be of support to you. My son was stillborn in June and I felt like my whole world had shattered around me, I cannot even begin to imagine how it must feel for you.

Please be kind on yourself and take care x