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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does Mumsnet represent motherhood at all?

122 replies

DontKnowWhat · 23/01/2011 00:04

I'm not a troll but an exceptionally confused eighteen year old girl after reading mumsnet.

I'm aware that parenting is very demanding and hard-work even at the best of times, but can somebody at least tell me that they enjoy it? Reading this website has put me off the idea reproducing permanently if all I've got to look forward to is parental competition, a crap husband, a huge mortgage, school catchment areas, celibacy and the only sense of self-worth I'll have is whether I breastfed, co-slept and cloth nappied my children until three and forced them to only eat Waitrose food, dress in Boden and play with wooden toys.

But this forum (maybe for the benefit of society) is making me think about getting myself permanently sterilised and whacking my head with a frying pan until I turn asexual. I don't want to only be proud of my parenting methods but more by my offspring or myself as an individual. Nor do I want to use my husband solely as a sperm and money donor and some guy I constantly whinge about.

Yeah, I have the common sense to realise that this is mainly because people complain about their problems instead of enthusing about their lives. And I know maybe many mumsnetters will not meet any or some of these criteria and have a lot more genuine stuff to complain about. But this place feels really ranty and snobby about everything - I'm not just talking about this section btw.

Please can somebody at least tell me that they enjoy parenting? Or that they don't portray this ridiculous ghastly stereotype I've seemed to get into my head?

OP posts:
lemonsquish · 23/01/2011 00:07

I love being a parent, even if it is a single one! YABU

BitOfFun · 23/01/2011 00:07

I don't think about it much, to be honest. I come here to be entertained away from bloody kids (half-joking).

But why are you even here? At eighteen, with no ties, there are far more exciting places to be, especially on a Saturday night.

Firawla · 23/01/2011 00:07

I enjoy it!!
tbh I think you need to look a bit further into the forum, not all threads are as you described.

FabbyChic · 23/01/2011 00:08

I was never going to have kids, but had two five years apart. I worked full time after a year with the first, and after five weeks with the second. I was a single parent from when the eldest was 7 and the youngest 2, albeit before that I was the sole wage earner.

I love my kids to bits, some would say it has been hard, it hasnt it was easy.

Its about routine. You have to.

The hardest thing is letting them go when they get old enough to go to Uni and you realise they no longer need you.

That to be honest has been the hardest part of parenting.

The rest? easy in comparison.

Mssoul · 23/01/2011 00:08

Being a mum is great. Honest! Grin

wheresmejumper · 23/01/2011 00:08

Ah my very first Biscuit !!!!!

HecateQueenOfWitches · 23/01/2011 00:09
Grin

our job here is done.

Welcome to Adult Life.

It is pretty damn dull.

Hard work, frustrating and lots of annoyances.

But also lots of fun and very rewarding.

I love my children. I love being their mother. They are two bloody fantastic and amazing people and I am so proud of them.

I wouldn't want my life any other way. I have had problems in my marriage but things are so much better now. I love my husband very much. We have had lots of money and we have had no money at all. Everything we've been through, we've been through together.

Morloth · 23/01/2011 00:12

Being a parent is a huge PITA and also a lot of fun.

You don't have to if you don't want to you know, it isn't up to Mumsnet to convince you either way it for posters to temper their posts for your benefit and feelings about parenting.

Valpollicella · 23/01/2011 00:12

Yeah, I enjoy parenting. Sometimes. Sometimes I think 'omfg' over the smallest things.

But then I do the same at work. Or anything else in life.

You write very well for an 18 yo btw

scottishmummy · 23/01/2011 00:13

welcome.any large group folk will give diverse,cantankerous,illuminating,funny spot-on account

bits you likey.bits not.dont sweat mn its only words on a screen

there is no right mn answer - we all tell it as is for us

BitOfFun · 23/01/2011 00:14

Extended posts often come from 18 year olds.

Valpollicella · 23/01/2011 00:14

And by the way, you're 18...why aren't you out at a pub/club/friends house???

Go out now as much as possible Grin That would be my advice

hester · 23/01/2011 00:14

You said it: people complain more about their problems instead of enthusing about their lives. And I think you will find plenty of threads here which acknowledge the love, humour and fulfilment that come with parenthood.

I complain without ceasing, about everything. But am happy to acknowledge that motherhood is the best thing I ever did in my entire life. Top reasons:

  1. The love you get and give
  2. They are completely fascinating: watching your child develop and change is the most interesting thing ever
  3. The physical joy of all the cuddles
  4. They are fricking hilarious, better than any comedy show
  5. The social life: it's the gateway to a whole new set of friends
  6. The chance to enjoy childlike things again - jumping in puddles, watching Pixar movies...
  7. You get to be part of a community of motherhood, which I like
  8. You get the chance to exorcise some ghosts from your own childhood

So don't be put off Smile

BitOfFun · 23/01/2011 00:15

Hester, if teen pregnancy rates rocket, I shall hold you responsible Grin

McHobbes · 23/01/2011 00:16

Me me! I do!!

Best thing I ever did - wish I had done it younger and sooner.

There you go!

freshmint · 23/01/2011 00:16

This SO is not an 18 year old

My money is on a journalist

Valpollicella · 23/01/2011 00:16

Lovely post Hester

GetOrfMoiLand · 23/01/2011 00:16

I love being a mother but it has been bloody exhausting. And I was a mother younger than you OP.

Not parenting itself - if I had unlimited funds I would have just locked myself away with my daughter and played with stickle bricks. *

But as I live in the real world I have had to work to pay the rent, get qualifications to get a better job, climb up the slippery slope at work to earn more money to get a mortgage, search for a decent school so she has the best chance in life, somewhere along the way find a boyfriend who wasn't a complete wankstain, cook dinner for us all and all the other wonderfully boring parts of adult life.

She is 15 now - 15! - and I love her to pieces. She is the most wonderful person I know. It has all been worth it.

  • OH I know I would have been bored shitless after 20 minutes of stickle bricks but you know what I mean

Advice to OP: you are 18. GO OUT AND DRINK CHEEKY VIMTO

freshmint · 23/01/2011 00:17

When has an 18 year old ever said "ghastly" let alone "c-slept"?

Hmm. Liz Jones? No, not quite self absorbed enough. I wonder who...

scottishmummy · 23/01/2011 00:17

oh belt up.who cares,put troll torch down

freshmint · 23/01/2011 00:18

co-slept

Valpollicella · 23/01/2011 00:18

GOML we think the same (re go out Grin)

c0rn5i1k123 · 23/01/2011 00:18

why would a childless 18 year old look at mumsnet in quite so much detail....?

freshmint · 23/01/2011 00:19

is that to me?

just musing, not torching

something bothering you scottishmummy?

McHobbes · 23/01/2011 00:19

I said 'ghastly' at 18. It's one of my favourite words!