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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does Mumsnet represent motherhood at all?

122 replies

DontKnowWhat · 23/01/2011 00:04

I'm not a troll but an exceptionally confused eighteen year old girl after reading mumsnet.

I'm aware that parenting is very demanding and hard-work even at the best of times, but can somebody at least tell me that they enjoy it? Reading this website has put me off the idea reproducing permanently if all I've got to look forward to is parental competition, a crap husband, a huge mortgage, school catchment areas, celibacy and the only sense of self-worth I'll have is whether I breastfed, co-slept and cloth nappied my children until three and forced them to only eat Waitrose food, dress in Boden and play with wooden toys.

But this forum (maybe for the benefit of society) is making me think about getting myself permanently sterilised and whacking my head with a frying pan until I turn asexual. I don't want to only be proud of my parenting methods but more by my offspring or myself as an individual. Nor do I want to use my husband solely as a sperm and money donor and some guy I constantly whinge about.

Yeah, I have the common sense to realise that this is mainly because people complain about their problems instead of enthusing about their lives. And I know maybe many mumsnetters will not meet any or some of these criteria and have a lot more genuine stuff to complain about. But this place feels really ranty and snobby about everything - I'm not just talking about this section btw.

Please can somebody at least tell me that they enjoy parenting? Or that they don't portray this ridiculous ghastly stereotype I've seemed to get into my head?

OP posts:
Spero · 23/01/2011 00:19

I would have much more respect for you and be willing to engage with you honestly if you weren't pretending to be a teenager and admitted that you have an article to write.

And what a compelling, insightful article it will no doubt be.

BitOfFun · 23/01/2011 00:19

GetOrf- I take it back, you have stopped the trend in its wake Wink

dekoLL · 23/01/2011 00:19

you are very articulated 18 year old....Hmm

c0rn5i1k123 · 23/01/2011 00:19

x-post spero - the OP knows MN very well indeed

PrettyCandles · 23/01/2011 00:20

I don't recognise your ghastly stereotype as myself. I wouldn't say I utterly delight in motherhood, but I love my family. Do you delight in everything you do right now? Are there things you do, not because they give you pleasure and a sense of pride, but because you know that they are a step towards something that will give you pleasure and pride? Yes, right now I'm bored. But soon my youngest will be in school, and I will have greater freedom to make choices for myself.

Have you been the same since year 7? Always happy with nothing to complainabout? I'm sure there were years you enjoyed more than others, and that your attitudes and beliefs have changed over time, yet throughout that time you were 'a schoolchild'. Similarly, being a parent is not static. It changes constantly.

You underestimate the degree to which MNers use MN to offload. There is far more joy and satisfaction in our lives than is posted here.

Valpollicella · 23/01/2011 00:20

At 18 I really would not have known what the equivalent the of Boden was.

Twas Camden Market all the way and nothing else

Grin
WilfShelf · 23/01/2011 00:21

Oh dear. I was you at 18. Can I advise you to get your sanctimonious thumb out of yer arse and go enjoy yerself.

If you are genuinely 18, you're thinking too much. Life is too short and when you Join the Dark Side, you will understand. Until then, go get drunk, dance and kiss pretty boys.

GetOrfMoiLand · 23/01/2011 00:21

Absolutely Val.

As I was a mother before I could legally drink I am waiting for dd to go to university/leave home so I can make up for my lost teenage years with tequlia slammers.

Yes I will be one of those sad 30-somethings clad in leopardskin you find in dodgy provincial nightclubs.

(actually I am ttc at the moment so I wll probably be child free in my mid 50s, so will be even more tragic)

scottishmummy · 23/01/2011 00:21

hark at some you.think all mn is all factual?have some internet savvy

mn always had its wind up merchants and trolls

chillichill · 23/01/2011 00:22

what HEATER said. Becoming a mum is the very best thing I have ever done. I complain about the sleepless nights, endless washing, lack of time to myself, but I never never complain about being a mum, why would I? its the best job I've ever had.

Shitemum · 23/01/2011 00:24

Oh, to be 18 again!

Valpollicella · 23/01/2011 00:24

Is this going to be in Femail on Thursday?

Would you mind quoting me? I've not had much media exposure over the last year

chillichill · 23/01/2011 00:24

not Heater, HESTER

McHobbes · 23/01/2011 00:25

I agree. You are very earnest and po faced and desperate to be a grown up.

If you ARE 18 then piss off and do 18 year old things instead of coming on here and bitching at us because you think it's emo to have a bleak outlook on life.

Off you pop dear - have fun!

hester · 23/01/2011 00:25

I would have written something like this at 18; I'm surprised at those who think it's unconvincing.

BoF: you should see my 'things I hate about motherhood' list - its heat beats off the page Grin

scottishmummy · 23/01/2011 00:26

oh stop bellyaching.mn is public not some girly journal.only for narnia fans and invitees

Valpollicella · 23/01/2011 00:26

Wilf, BRILLIANT advice Grin

Oh to be 18 again! I wouldn't be on bloody MN at midnight on a Sat.

McHobbes · 23/01/2011 00:28

Hester - so would I have....which is why I said what I did down there. Wink

GetOrfMoiLand · 23/01/2011 00:28

Oh I don't know.

I would have written pompous nonsense like this as a teen.

I thought I knew everything and that my arch and pretentious style of writing was oh so grown up

So it may well be a genuine teen. Or Andy Coulson on his first freelance assignment.

scottishmummy · 23/01/2011 00:28

love all this dont dare quote me missy. errr so dont yak on a public forum if your opinions are so precious

c0rn5i1k123 · 23/01/2011 00:28

being on MN at 18 and childless (in the 80's dear) was the equivalent of going to a church hall dance with your parents.

PrettyCandles · 23/01/2011 00:30

I was going to say "Go and repost in the proper topic, and pay MN the journo's fee". I, too suspect that this '18yo' is probably a researcher, but OTOH I have known 18yo who could and would write like this.

And besides, it's MN - gives me an opportunity to waffle, so why not? Grin

GetOrfMoiLand · 23/01/2011 00:30

Oh come on.

WHO of the lot of you would really want to be stood there in ridiculous shoes drinking in some unspeakable nightclub with loud music blaring out.

I can't believe I am only 32

Spero · 23/01/2011 00:30

this forum is public?? shriek, faints dead away.

gee scottishmummy, thanks for pointing that out.

Valpollicella · 23/01/2011 00:30

SM I asked to be quoted Grin

Don't bother me. like you say. Post it, it could be printed

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