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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wonder what the fuss is regarding Private Schools?

469 replies

peppapigandhumf · 21/01/2011 15:11

A friend has 2 kids at a local prep school. She doesnt really bang on about the school to me etc but i wonder why bother pay for education when schooling is free.

Is it really just about small class sizes and fancy expensive uniforms?

OP posts:
cheekyseamonkey · 24/01/2011 14:17

IMO private prep is pointless, there are some very good state primaries. But private secondary is a great idea, especially in my area.

Pixieonthemoor · 24/01/2011 14:21

Our good local private school is 2 years ahead of the good local primary (this from one of the mothers at the private who is a teacher at the state). Smaller class sizes, greater attention to personal development, outstanding facilities and an ambitious vision for what these children might be able to achieve. Seems to me that teaching in some states is 'crowd control' (to quote Zoe Heller, I think). The real scandal is why aren't all schools as good as the best ones.

JoanofArgos · 24/01/2011 14:22

Well said Nagy.

I do find it annoying when those who pay cannot seem to get past either 'you're just jealous' or 'you're an inverted snob' as arguments.

The idea that I'm jealous assumes I think private school is better, and I just don't. I admit in my eldest's first few weeks in year 7, when she was bored with a dull English teacher, I though god, she'd be getting on quicker in a more pressured environment. That's the only time I've ever framed my thinking about state/private in that way - but truly the more my kids progress in the state system (now years 5 and 9) the more passionately pro-state I am. I cannot believe the amounts of opportunities there are now that weren't there at my state comp under the last Tory government. So many staff dedicated to pushing them to be the best they can, rewarding effort and punishing bad behavious, who really do care about their profession - yeah, some dross too, but they're generally about to retire! I certainly wouldn't want her going to school with the people who, if they're being serious on this thread, would currently regard her as 'rif-raf'. (can't remember the poster's name, but it was said).

I passionately believe that the world would be a better place if the children of the wealthy and the poor were educated in the same place - and then the sorts of prejudice on both sides would surely have to lessen? Since the anti-state-ers have been plenty anecdotal, I'll be anecdotal as well, and remember when a girl I knew on the school bus who went to a private school farther along the route asked 'so is everyone at your school like, really common?'. Or the story of when my daughter met a bunch of first-years from a v expensive girls' boarding school and was asked 'do you like horses? have you got one?'. Or when a girl from the same school asked what a council house was, and when it was explained, exclaimed in horror 'but isn't that - like - COMMUNISM?'.

Another thing that gets my goat is the catchment area issue - there are two schools in my city which aren't very well regarded, because they draw a significant part of their intake from large local council estates. However there are, in each case, some rather well-to-do roads and streets in those areas too, but those people tend to issue a horrified 'she's not going to C! I'd rather teach her myself!!!!' and then scramble for the cheque book. Surely if those people got a grip and had faith in their own kids and in the staff at the schools, their kids and the other local kids would all benefit? And not to bloody mention 'free schools' - there are consultations round here for one because 'M is just . Well sorry if I'm being dim, but wouldn't it be a Holgate sort of school if Holgate people sent their children there?

If you send your child to private school, you're telling them 'that school is good enough for everyone else, but not for you'. And I cannot honestly see how that isn't telling them also that they are 'better' than those other kids.

My hero at the moment is John O'Farrell, who very rightly said on the radio recently that people tend not to mind you saying 'get out of Iraq', or even 'Tory Scum!', but when you say 'actually, I think you should send your child to the local state school', they get very angry and defensive.

munstersmum · 24/01/2011 14:32

I went to a suburban comprehensive until age 16 then did private 6th form. This puts it in a nutshell - I got an A in O level French & my parents were told I was top of the class. The private school near as darn it accused us of lying because I wasn't actually that great at it and hadn't covered a whole tense. Even back then state schools were making choices to look better - easier exam board.

DS is in a state primary which I do hold in high regard. Who knows what we will do when approach secondary school age.

JoanofArgos · 24/01/2011 14:34

As I remember (GCSEs 94, A Levels 96), most exam boards didn't require the subjunctive and possible the past historic until A Level - passed GCSE with A*, then they taught the other ones and then I got an A at A level - not hard! How tactful and polite of your school to handle it that way though Munstermum!

MillyR · 24/01/2011 14:35

Some schools, both independent and state, aren't good enough for anyone's children.

That is the message I am giving my children by not sending them to an inadequate school.

FioFio · 24/01/2011 14:36

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nagynolonger · 24/01/2011 14:39

Pixie does the 'good private' select it's pupils ? Other than by £££s. I assume the state takes everyone. The only private one that I know of locally 'tests' 4 year olds....interviewing parents is no longer good enough.

begonyabampot · 24/01/2011 14:41

I knew a group of girls, all boarding school privately educated who left school and did mundane jobs like travel clerk, chef - I was surprised and probably would have expected more after a private education. They were all lovely though and had beautiful manners, were quite sloany and knew how to fit in or behave in the more well off circles. I knew other privately educated girls who similarly left school and didn't really cash in on their private education. Just makes you wonder how worth it it is, Dh from council estate went to rough state school and has done very well, in a good position and earning good money - despite his not so great start. He does say he would have risen higher in his company with the right education, contacts and accent though. I'm happy enough with a good state school for my kids but will consider private if the school available seems crap. Want my kids to do well but don't know if I'd want them going down that private/very privileged route that would come with it, a la Lady Of The Manor (though thinks she must be a bit tongue in cheek - hopefully).

JoanofArgos · 24/01/2011 14:41

I did mine in 94, and yes, you could Smile.

FioFio · 24/01/2011 14:43

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TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 24/01/2011 14:45

Do they have to be surgeons? I don't happen to know any surgeons.

I know two consultants from state schools though. And two bankers.

You really need to define Banker though. One of these guys is a Trader the other is setting up three desks for Standard Charetered. Do they count?

Surgeons are a bit blue collar aren't they? All that manual stuff.

JoanofArgos · 24/01/2011 14:45

It might have been - NEAB, SEG and MEG all had them, though.

FioFio · 24/01/2011 14:45

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mrsruffallo · 24/01/2011 14:45

It's a big fat lie that panders to snobs

JoanofArgos · 24/01/2011 14:45

I know loads of absolute bankers who went to private school. Wink

begonyabampot · 24/01/2011 14:48

Joan Of Argos - agree with you about if everyone sent their kids to the local crappy school then it would improve and be more equal playing field - we are in that position with our local cachement high school (seen as crap due to being close to some council estates) - just don't know if I would carry through my convictions, possible at the expense of my Dcs. Thing is, other nearby high schools with much better cachement areas have much better exam results - this doesn't actually prove how good the teaching is at these different schools - the better exam results could come solely from kids from middle class background/ more pushy parents etc - rather from the actual quality of teaching- if that makes any sense.

JoanofArgos · 24/01/2011 14:53

It does make sense, yes, and I think it will always be a problem - because whatever we do, some places will always be nicer/more affluent than others..... there's no perfect system where all schools can be the same, I'm not that naive ..... but I still think a system that segregates 7% of the population according - in probably 95% of that 7% - to wealth is just wrong, and I wouldn't be a part of perpetuating it.

JoanofArgos · 24/01/2011 14:54

And Fio, I'm glad you found it, because I was having a hell of a time googling proof, and starting to wonder whether I was actually only 31 and had been counting wrong.....

FioFio · 24/01/2011 14:59

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seeker · 24/01/2011 17:44

All private schools "select". Without exception, they all do. They may not select on academic ability, although many do - but they are selective by virtue of the fact that you have to jump through hoops to get in.

If you started a school and said "To get your child into this school, both parents have to learn to juggle", that school would have better results than the completely identical in all other respects,school next door which let in anyone in the catchment area. Simply because the parents are involved, interested and knowledgeable enough to learn to juggle and can afford juggling balls and a book about juggling.

This is because parental involvement and not being poor are the two overriding determinants of a child's academic achievement.

MrsGuyOfGisbourne · 24/01/2011 18:37

Love the idea of the juggling! Just watch those parents learn!!! fWould be very entertaining. Of course, this is what you see in faith schools, where parents go to extremes to jump through the faith hoop.

pascoe28 · 24/01/2011 20:02

Come the revolution, I'll be re-visiting this discussion and gunning down all those that object to people's freedom to send their children to a school of their own choice.

The illiberalism is shocking.

TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 24/01/2011 20:10

pascoe28 - I'm all for people being able to send their children to a school of their choice.

So you would say that all schools should accept any child that wants to go there regardless of any entrance criteria?

pascoe28 · 24/01/2011 20:17

Apologies, I should clarify..."a school of their own choice, consistent with that school's entrance criteria".

And I would/will abolish the admissions code, allowing schools to set these criteria themselves.

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