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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have REALLY judged this BFing mum with a dog?

176 replies

thefirstMrsDeVere · 19/01/2011 16:41

Yeah whatever,

Now I have your attention.

Its Billie's birthday tommorow. She would have been 19. She died aged 14 from Acute Lymphoblastic Luekemia. She was ill for two years and suffered a great deal. She bore her illness with dignity and bravery and she was the most extraordinary human being I have ever known.

PLEASE if you have ever thought about:
Giving blood
Registering as Bone Marrow Donor
Donating cord blood or
giving your time or money to charity

Would you do it now? Would a look at my DD's photo help to nudge you in the right direction?

www.blood.co.uk/
www.clicsargent.org.uk
www.teenagecancertrust.org.uk
www.anthonynolan.org/

and the www.aclt.org.uk are REALLY struggling right now.

This is my DD billie-josiah.memory-of.com/About.aspx

It is not something I share lightly. I want you all to see what is lost when cancer takes hold.

Everyone can do something, if you cant give blood please ask someone else to do it.

Thank you

OP posts:
Hassled · 20/01/2011 19:56

I've just seen this - am thinking of you. As ever, your strength just blows me away. And yes, I will register :).

Original poster
thefirstMrsDeVere · 20/01/2011 20:20

chipping I might try the two pronged approach in April Smile

Ballons released. They went off like a rocket much to DSs 2&3's delight. Cake eaten too.

DS2 says he remembers his sister giving him chocolates and going for a ride in a long pink car. He loved his sister so much. Because she was off school they spent a lot of time together. Her last weeks were very hard for him because he couldnt understand why she wouldnt play with him anymore.

They gave each other so much. Having him around helped us through the bad bits.

Now he is the one I can talk with about her. He doesnt have the reserve so many people have about these things because of his ASD. It makes for some startled looks in the post office queue or in Argos when he comes out with 'my sister is dead isnt she? She is in heaven and eating chocolates isnt she. What killed her? etc etc'

At least he talks about her.

Goodnight all and thank you so much.

OP posts:
Seabright · 20/01/2011 20:21

I've just registered. I didn't realise it was so easy, and am embarrassed to say that. I will try and persuade some work colleagues tomorrow.

Confuzzeled · 20/01/2011 20:22

Donated all I can afford. Will give blood soon, maybe tomorrow if I can get into town without kids.

So sorry you had to go through all this with your beautiful girl/young woman.

threefeethighandrising · 20/01/2011 20:52

DP and I (existing but lapsed donors) have booked sessions to give blood - been meaning to get round to it for ages, but haven't done it since we moved.

Our friend - who's never donated before - is coming with us too.

Thanks for the reminder.

I'll have a look at the blood marrow link now.

Great title btw Smile

threefeethighandrising · 20/01/2011 20:56

Oh, I see, you have to tell then you want to be on the bone marrow list when you give blood, I'll do that then.

expectingno2 · 20/01/2011 21:01

I have just managed to apply online to join the bone marrow donor register through the tears and have added a link to my facebook page to encourage others. Well done!

threefeethighandrising · 20/01/2011 21:10

Please could you give me a link expectingno2?

clumsymumluckybaby · 20/01/2011 21:15

they wont let me donate blood,as ds is only 4 months old,but ive donated bas much money as i can afford,and dp is going next week.thank you for the reminder.
v clever title btw...

mummytowillow · 20/01/2011 21:19

I've been on Antony Nolan register for over 20 years now, still no call, hopefully one day I can help that special person Smile

Billie was beautiful, she would be so proud of you xxx

emmanana · 20/01/2011 21:51

You must be very proud Mrs DV. all the people on here who have taken steps to do something because of your daughter.

Toastiewoastie · 20/01/2011 21:56

I can't currently as my last BF was African (even though we were both tested negative for HIV). Apparently I will be able to again in a few months, when I haven't been with him for a year.

2blessed2bstressed · 20/01/2011 23:30

I haven't given blood for a long time, mainly because I keel over every single time Blush however this thread has prompted me to suck it up, and get my ass back to the centre.

my mum gave blood regularly til she was too old, and also passed out every time. At one point in our lives we stayed near a large Abbey. My mum went to a session, fainted clean away and woke up on a camp bed with a monk in all his robes lying onthe beds either side of her - she thought she'd died!
I hope your day passed in peace and love x

zukiecat · 21/01/2011 12:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

confuddledDOTcom · 22/01/2011 20:02

I can't because I'm autoimmune, I always put it off before my diagnosis which I feel a little guilty about even though I know I can't anyway. Knowing the affect blood tests have on me donating blood would probably induce a TIA :( My organs aren't going to be any good either as they'll be in a mess from the condition.

My mum used to donate blood, she's donated as much as she's been given (how cool is that?) but she can't donate anymore because she's been a recipient (how stupid is that?)

If you're healthy enough to do it, do it!

girlscout · 22/01/2011 20:33

ms, so cant give anymore (last time was 10 years ago)Got contttacted recently because i was on the tissue register, and had to take name off.
Good thing is my dd has started to give blood. Its crazy but im so proud. Mum gave blood ,i did,and now she does.My mum and I were B+ and daughter is 0 ,which is much more useful (i tell her).
Grin

Original poster
thefirstMrsDeVere · 23/01/2011 18:49

I could just cry. I dont but I sort of do without it showing. I have just seen an article about ACLT struggling in the gaurdian. The comments left are horrible. People saying its not their problem because its a black and brown problem. Horrible comments from ignorant people.

I would donate my BM to anyone. I know my kids cant have it but I still registered. Why do other people think my children are not worth their sympathy? My DD is DEAD. She was a beautiful, loving, kind and clever girl. She just happened to be mixed race. Her life MATTERED.

Bloody bastards.

OP posts:
golemmings · 23/01/2011 19:44

Brilliant post. I already give blood and joined the bone marrow register after my godmother suffered from leukaemia when I was 15.

I was really disappointed to learn that my nearest hospital collecting cord blood is a 2 1/2 hour drive. If I could do it locally I definately would but I'm not really up for driving to the south of England whilst in labour...

DoraIsaandBoots · 23/01/2011 19:51

I'm on the bone marrow register but you have reminded me about giving blood.

I ran the Manchester 10k last year for clic sargent- such a wonderful charity.

I like your website and will think of you tomorrow.

confuddledDOTcom · 23/01/2011 21:49

It's not your daughter's "fault" she was mixed race, we don't get any say in our race. This is one of my biggest problems with racism, I didn't chose to be white it just happens that lots of white people who didn't chose to be white married a white person and had children that eventually became my parents. Doesn't matter your race, you don't chose it and so what? It doesn't change who you are, some nasty whites out there, some lovely ones and the same is true of any race because it's not set in race.

HaveToWearHeels · 23/01/2011 22:08

I am proud to say I have donated blood for the last 22 years and joined the Bone Marrow register about 8 years ago.
I did try and donate chord blood, but found it wasn't possible in my area. I think this is something that should be available in EVERY area, so, so much can be done with it. Something that could saves lives ends up as clinical waste is criminal in my book.

bathbuns · 23/01/2011 22:23

Your beautiful girl. She looks like she was so special, and I am thinking of you.

Can't give blood for medical reasons but will ask someone on my behalf.

mondayschild · 23/01/2011 23:04

DH and I have been planning to register with Anthony Nolan for a while now, and reading about your beautiful DD gave us the boot we needed to get on and do it.

Thinking of you and your family x

emmanana · 25/01/2011 18:51

Mrs DV, sorry to hear that you were upset. I know it's easy enough to say, but just ignore them. Those who define others by colour, are obviously so insecure about themselves that they have to be nasty about others in order to make themselves feel good.
You're a Mum, not a colour; (please don't think I'm being patronising) and when I was giving blood, I didn't give a bloody damn who was getting it. And I don't care who receives my organs when I die. God forbid that those who made those racist remarks should ever be in the position to need blood/bm/organs for a loved one; but I bet they wouldn't be asking the origins of the gifts then.
For the record, I'm white, but if my family needed help, I'd be down on my knees in gratitude to anyone who could help.Ethnic origin of the donor is absolutely irrelevant.
Rascism is terrible enough, but to be sanctimonious about your ethnic origins when it comes to helping people live is the lowest of the low. I'm disgusted that people can even think that way, let alone voice it in public.
I am itching to have a complete foul-mouthed rant over what I really think of them, but not on the thread about your Daughter. It wouldn't be right.
I spent some time with my nieces and nephews at the weekend, and thought about your family a few times. I counted my blessings at how lucky my lot are to be in good health. As soon as I have finished my current course of meds I am fully intending to go back to donating blood.
All best wishes to you and your family, lucky kids having a special and sensitive Mum like you x

LilRedWG · 25/01/2011 19:06

Will contact blood.co.uk to see about donating cord blood - am due in a couple of weeks, but hopefully not too late.

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