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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have REALLY judged this BFing mum with a dog?

176 replies

thefirstMrsDeVere · 19/01/2011 16:41

Yeah whatever,

Now I have your attention.

Its Billie's birthday tommorow. She would have been 19. She died aged 14 from Acute Lymphoblastic Luekemia. She was ill for two years and suffered a great deal. She bore her illness with dignity and bravery and she was the most extraordinary human being I have ever known.

PLEASE if you have ever thought about:
Giving blood
Registering as Bone Marrow Donor
Donating cord blood or
giving your time or money to charity

Would you do it now? Would a look at my DD's photo help to nudge you in the right direction?

www.blood.co.uk/
www.clicsargent.org.uk
www.teenagecancertrust.org.uk
www.anthonynolan.org/

and the www.aclt.org.uk are REALLY struggling right now.

This is my DD billie-josiah.memory-of.com/About.aspx

It is not something I share lightly. I want you all to see what is lost when cancer takes hold.

Everyone can do something, if you cant give blood please ask someone else to do it.

Thank you

OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane · 19/01/2011 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PuraVida · 19/01/2011 20:28

MrsDeVere, I just wanted you to know that I read your post about spitting a while ago. DP and I are both now on The Anthony nolan bone marrow donor register as a direct result

Well done for making that happen.

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 19/01/2011 20:32

TFMD - I have just got back from giving blood. It is something I do, but not as often as I should. I have shot veins and it's a bit of a palavar - last time I was turned away because the twit wouldn't listen to me when I told him what he needed to do - and they wouldn't try again (new policy apparently). Anyway, I've been meaning to find somewhere local to do it (not long moved here) and your thread made me go and look - they were doing one in my street - can you believe that!!

I had to put up with some abuse while there as apparently, people like me shouldn't push in front of people like him! I was there before him, but neither of us had an appointment, but he has donated 50 PLUS times and I haven't - clearly this makes his blood laced with gold or something?! He thought he should be put ahead of all of the 'walk ins' because he's donated 50 PLUS times. It was suggested he book, but no he can't book!! He works and he can't commit to a time Hmm - of course, no one else does Hmm He was whinging the entire time we were there (on the 'bed' next to me), all through the 'tea time' and still as I was leaving... what a TWAT.

Of course I admire his 50+ donations
Of course I understand he's helped a lot of people

and actually, I wouldn't mind if 50+ donors did get preferential treatment - but as it stands that's not how it works and it's not my fault!

I also checked out that I'm still registered as an Organ Donor (did it 100 years ago and just thought I'd check).

I am too old to be a marrow donor :(

I am doing what I can for charity, both time & money

So thanks to you and your beautiful Billie my arse was truely kicked into action today :)

MainlyMaynie · 19/01/2011 20:37

Re cord blood, I have just looked into it and there are five hospitals where you can donate:

Barnet General, Luton and Dunstable, St George's, Northwick Park and Watford General.

They're all in the South-east, so not an option for me, but HTH someone else.

lisad123isasnuttyasaboxoffrogs · 19/01/2011 20:40

thinking of you tomorrow, its such a horrible disease and so hard to deal with. you truely are at the mercy of other people. Im registered, of course, and really its so easy. You fill in a form, they then send you a spit tube in the post and send back.
You may never be called.
We find out if they have found DH in March (just in case).
Did you know because there arent enough donars, they test patients just incase and find them a match if possible so they know if they the have to search further if the worse comes to it :(
Then if anyone else wants the same match they have to ask the doctor of the first patient? how weird is that?

we lost a young friend to leukemia a few years back too :(
Of course we are always scarced here too for DH :(

EricNorthmansMistress · 19/01/2011 20:45

Thank you for reminding me, and thank you, as ever, for sharing your beautiful daughter with us. I just looked up my next session and nagged DBro to go and take his DP along too. I'm sorry I have been so slack since DS was born. I'm so sorry for your loss :( xxx

carve133 · 19/01/2011 20:45

Haven't donated for ages. Just made an appointment online so consider me nudged.
Warm wishes for tomorrow.

Original poster
thefirstMrsDeVere · 19/01/2011 20:46

chipping PMSL at your traumatic and heroic blood donation (I know I shouldnt but Grin)

lisa Sad
I know its hard. Hang on x

OP posts:
ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 19/01/2011 20:51

TFMD - I posted it because I thought it would make you Grin if it had been anyone elses thread I'd have been a bit less inclined in case they thought I was being mardy! I was very tempted to knock his table when I got off first Grin

Lisa - I hope they find a match for DH, just so it's there, just in case x I hate being too old to be on the register :(

Mists · 19/01/2011 20:55

Just popping on to add support for this and to thank everyone who is able to give blood who does.

My DD has had several life-saving transfusions and will need many more in the years to come.

Good work MrsDeVere, you awesome lady.

I think of you and your beautiful and brave daughter very often.

Thanks again x

lisad123isasnuttyasaboxoffrogs · 19/01/2011 20:57

did you know they only find half the matches needed for people who need a transplant :(

hidinginthecupboard · 19/01/2011 21:22

I don't post very often but wanted to say that your daughter and you both sound like very amazing people.

I have an appointment to donate next week, my second since my beautiful nephew needed heart surgery and a transfusion at 1 month old last autumn. I had a few years off before that due to travel, pregnancies and sheer forgetfulness. My family are so very grateful to those who donate. Thank you for reminding others and for reminding me to check that I am registered to donate marrow.

And as another poster said I hope tomorrow goes gently for you,
x

TheHouseofMirth · 19/01/2011 21:27

Seems I am a year too old for bone marrow donation. Am also not quite heavy enough for blood donation but will go anyway and hope they don't notice (do they actually weigh you?!)

Hope tomorrow's not too hard on you all.

AnnOnimous · 19/01/2011 22:22

Good for you Mrs DeVere, great way to raise the profile - I think I am on the register, but will follow the links to check.

I will be thinking of you, your family, and of course, Billie, tomorrow.

TheFallenMadonna · 19/01/2011 22:27

We are registered with Anthony Nolan Trust. My cousin's son's life was saved by a bone marrow transplant when he was a toddler. An amazing thing.

Anonymousbird · 19/01/2011 22:28

I am giving blood next week, in my view it should be compulsory. If I can do it, and have done for over 20 years, anyone can, as I am a complete wuss and blood-phobic!!!!!

My friend also died of ALL in 2009, and when I first looked into being a bone marrow donor, I was turned away and was devastated. She then died, but I have always meant to sign up when I was allowed to, and now I should be able to.

I will do this. Your message has reminded me that I will.

You are very brave. Your daughter was beautiful.

Bless you.

Original poster
thefirstMrsDeVere · 19/01/2011 22:31

Thank you everyone. I am off to bed now.

I plan to spend the day with my girl tommorow. I will take some flowers to the beautiful restored victorian angel in the cemetary. She is not buried there, she is at home with me. But she was cremated there. A wonderful couple campaigned for years to put up a memorial for our lost children.

It gives me somewhere to go and think.Its next to the baby garden and is a peaceful place.

I will buy some horribly expensive, huge, number ballons for the boys to let go. I will buy a cake (DS2 would never forgive me if I didnt).

And I will hold her so very tight in my arms. I can feel her now. My beautiful, brown, long girl.

OP posts:
pumperspumpkin · 19/01/2011 22:43

I have tears in my eyes. X

claig · 19/01/2011 22:45

God bless you, your family and your beautiful daughter.

zukiecat · 19/01/2011 22:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 19/01/2011 22:56

You have a lovely day planned for tomorrow - I'll be thinking of you all x

twirlymum · 19/01/2011 22:59

Got a letter today asking me to give blood again. I will make an appointment tomorrow.
Thinking of you.

emmanana · 19/01/2011 23:02

MrsDV, your last line brought a huge lump to my throat. What a lucky girl Billie was to have a Mum like you.
I'll try and remember to bump this thread every so often tomorrow. If enough see it, hopefully lots of Mums will be spurred on to act or to donate or register. If just person is saved, or one family is given hope, then what a legacy for your superstar.
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow as you send those bright balloons to your girl, to celebrate the day she came into your lives.
Wishing your family love and strength, as Billie smiles in your hearts and hugs you back. x

Kewcumber · 19/01/2011 23:04

MrsDV - your threads about billie as always make me cry and rush off to hug my sleeping DS. Sadly my blood is too mangey for anyone in their right mind to want it, though that may change. I gave blood regularly as my mother used up her fiar share during chemo and it only seemed fair to try to address the balance.

Thinking of you and Billie.

MrsRhettButler · 19/01/2011 23:05

I have tears in my eyes

Happy birthday Billie x

I'm in bristol, does that mean I can't donate cord blood then?

I'll be thinking of you and your family tomorrow mrdevere (((hugs)))