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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

thinking owning a house is a waste of time, as it just gets takenoff you when you get old/put in ahome

229 replies

ohnanaWHATSMYNAMEohnana · 15/01/2011 23:30

one of my aunts has had to go into a care home, serious dementia needs fulltime help

but everything shes worked for and saved for looks liek it will be taken from her.

OP posts:
DivineInspiration · 16/01/2011 00:27

A nursing home is a home. It's a place where elderly people live, some of them for many years, at great expense. During the rest of your life, when you want or need to move house, you sell your current home to fund that. I don't see why it's viewed as a travesty that older people may need to sell one home to move into another.

I'm sorry about your Aunt, by the way; dementia is a horrible illness for both the sufferer and their family.

ButterPieify · 16/01/2011 00:27

I'm sorry, but who is really buying a house for after they die? We are about to buy a house, and it is because renting is terrible due to the lack of rights. We wnt somewhere we can make a happy and secure home now, nd yes, hopefully give our children the stability and emotional security to be able do well at school nd make thier way in the world.

Frankly, I think it unfair for people to get a free house when they haven't worked for it- that way people will just snowball houses down the generations, and our great great great grandchildren will end up with a huge collection of unearned houses. How is that fair?

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 16/01/2011 00:27

but ohnanna why do you expect others to pay to keep you when you are financially able to keep yourself?

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 16/01/2011 00:28

i agree butterpie

edam · 16/01/2011 00:28

She won't be living in the house. She will be using her asset to fund the care and accommodation that she needs. Seems entirely logical to me. The only reason to object is if you are greedy and think you should get a windfall.

Why the hell should taxpayers fund your aunt's care just so her relatives can inherit ££££?

Social care has never been free in the way the NHS is, btw. It has always been means tested.

Moaning about people who don't have any money not being charged is a bit illogical. They don't have any money. So they can't pay. What do you want to do, leave them on the streets?

My great-aunt had just got to the stage when her house was being sold when she finally died. Fine by me, and by her - she was living in a lovely nursing home where the staff were very kind (and cried buckets at her funeral).

suzikettles · 16/01/2011 00:29

It is two tier animula. It's clear if you visit nursing homes that this is the case. A dreadful state of affairs.

It's not right that someone should have comfort and dignity just because they don't have £100k to hand through pure fluke in many cases. My gran's wealth is purely the result of property price rises. If she'd rented all her life she'd still have been as hard a worker but couldn't possibly have saved this amount.

We should all be scared of growing old and infirm.

mamatomany · 16/01/2011 00:30

Well squander away then, but you still need somewhere to live in the meantime and renting last time I looked wasn't any cheaper than buying otherwise I'm sure we'd all do that instead.

suzikettles · 16/01/2011 00:30

-should- shouldn't

curlymama · 16/01/2011 00:31

Ilove, because other people are being kept for free, in exactly the same homes. People that may have had just as much opportunity to buy a house, but have chosen to have expensive holidays and other luxuries instead.

edam · 16/01/2011 00:31

ohnana, if you want to leave your house to your children, you need to start a separate savings/investment pot to fund your care in old age.

Original poster
ohnanaWHATSMYNAMEohnana · 16/01/2011 00:31

your right its a two tier system, but some are too dim to get that

OP posts:
NL3 · 16/01/2011 00:32

Plan to off load everything by the time it becomes necessary - absolutely no need to pay then - just like the tossers who paid FA into the system.......

Original poster
ohnanaWHATSMYNAMEohnana · 16/01/2011 00:32

exactley curlymama.

OP posts:
animula · 16/01/2011 00:33

suzikettles - yes. Dh's grandmother sold her home and was able to afford a lovely care home. My next door neighbour wasn't.

My prediction is that the disparities are going to increase as the population ages, a significant number of whom won't have assets to sell. And we don't seem to have (state) care for the elderly up there very high on our list of priorities.

It all seems very clear wrt selling homes for elderly care until you think of those who won't have assets to sell, and a stretched, underfunded state system, in which the asset-wealthy have no stake.

suzikettles · 16/01/2011 00:33

curlymama, that's the equivilent of the benefits claimant with the flat screen telly argument.

I'm sure you're aware that the vast majority of elderly people with no assets haven't been living the life of reilly, squandering vast fortunes in the secure knowledge that the State will provide. At least I hope you're aware of this Hmm

Original poster
ohnanaWHATSMYNAMEohnana · 16/01/2011 00:33

perhaps i'll buy myself a park type home ona holiday camp, then give teh rest to my child when i'm a certain age

OP posts:
curlymama · 16/01/2011 00:34

Moaning about people who don't have any money not being charged is a bit illogical. They don't have any money. So they can't pay. What do you want to do, leave them on the streets?

Of course nobody would want to see them on the streets! Hmm But if there was a free care for all system, the same as education, then everyone would be entitled to the same.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 16/01/2011 00:34

so because other people were frivilous with money, the OP's aunt should get unnecessary state funding for her care and stretch the budget further meaning less care available for all?

it is a bit childish to say, "well, he's getting a free biscuit, i want one even though i already have one and i know it will leave less to go round those that actually need it" selfish to think that way if you can fund your own care.

Appletrees · 16/01/2011 00:34

welli agree withyou op. I'll be putting in trust, or selling and divvying up between the children when I'm young enough for them not to pay inheritance tax. We've paid loads. We're major net givers and because of this house won't be entitled in our frailest hour. So I'll sell the house, give money to the children and go and live in a caravan, and if I die for not being looked after so be it. Nobody's getting thishouse except my children.

DioneTheDiabolist · 16/01/2011 00:37

Thank you Boo. I think that the *OP is losing the fact that her aunt has to live somewhere and that place will cost money. What is so hard to understand about that concept?

Appletrees · 16/01/2011 00:37

what'smyname haha didn't see your post

see you on the caravan site

maybe I'll become a traveler, park illegally on a green belt and apply for retrospective planning permission

actually maybe I'll just hand the lot over and finally get some benefits payback

mishymoshy · 16/01/2011 00:37

YANBU, I would rather die than go into a care home - that's just the sort of person I am. To me, a life without total autonomy is not worth living. So I shall be packing myself off to Dignitas when the time comes, and my family can enjoy the cash.

suzikettles · 16/01/2011 00:37

Appletrees, I hope your children will be kind to you then when you're at your most vulnerable.

You might be sorely disappointed by your "free" care.

Tramadol · 16/01/2011 00:37

Thank goodness others feel like me. Nothing ive ever worked for will be sold to pay care fees. It will all be sorted out beforehand Smile

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 16/01/2011 00:39

yes that is the whole point. it is exactly the same as a younger family selling tehir home for a bigger one to meet their needs. if they didn't have the money they would get social housing. thsi is teh same thing.