thinking owning a house is a waste of time, as it just gets takenoff you when you get old/put in ahome

[ohnanaWHATSMYNAMEohnana]

one of my aunts has had to go into a care home, serious dementia needs fulltime help

but everything shes worked for and saved for looks liek it will be taken from her.

i agree jen. i would be far happier approaching my twilight years if i knew i had a house to seel to fund my care rather than depending on limited state funds.

No bubble, I'm not suggesting that at all, where have I said that?

I am lucky enough that nobody close to me has been in the position to need long term care because they are elderly, so I really don't know, but I thought that that's kind of how it is anyway. State care being fairly standard and private care being simelar but with nicer rooms and bigger gardens.

I can see both sides of the arguement, but agree that care for the elderly should be of a good quality whether it is paid for from a private estate or through taxation.

supersal of course! sorry, my point was that within homes there will be state and personal funded users :)

being in a care home isnt cheap is it, and they are set to go up. its a scary thought :(

I don't have a problem with selling my home to pay for care either, plus, if you think about it, you only pay for your home for the first 25 years so its free living the rest of your life, unlike renters who always have to pay.

The state would not have paid for the home my father was in. It might have made a contribution but it would not have covered the whole cost.
I know state funded homes have wonderful people too but I have been in mainly state funded homes and I have been in the home where my father lived. His money allowed me to buy him care he could not have had elsewhere.
No one in my family cared about getting a legacy. We actually thought that we would need to subsidise his care at some point. We were prepared to do that as the place was so completely appropriate ( socially, spiritually, physically) to his needs.

My MIL drew up a Lasting Power of Attorney with her solicitors. This prevents anyone but her family from deciding she "needs" to be in a home and that her home has to be sold.

It is something I think everyone should consider doing.

when your aunt paid her taxes that money went towards the things that were needed at the time.

It wasn't put into a special savings account for her to make withdrawals out of later on.

FFS, the "paid her taxes" chestnut.

She DIDN'T pay the rate of tax that would allow first-class free-at-point-of-use dementia care for every single person who would need it.

She paid the rate of tax based on the reality of the user-pays-if-possible system.

Paying tax throughout your life does not entitle you to have your every requirement met and fully funded by the state.

YANBU Take two people in identical lifetime jobs - One goes without holidays nights out etc in order to buy a house and as Ladythumb says the other pisses it up against the wall. Why the hell should the frugal one have to pay from the proceeds of the house. It is so so wrong.

If I get dementia I seriously want popping on a plane to switzerland I would be devastated if my children weren't able to inherit my life's work and it was wasted keeping me alive but knowing nothing about it.
Dementia is so cruel.

OP we have all paid our taxes. Fact is if you wanted a property to remain within the family then a member of the family looked after you until your demise. That is not happening in your aunt's case. She has no one to look after her. She will be looked after and her home will be used for the cost of that care. It is not inevitable. Your family have decided to not to look after her. So why should they inherit everything that she built up?

In my book, you work all your life and you try to make provision for your old age. Now my dd (6) tells me that she is going to be a star, and I will live with her always.

In the real world, I pay into my pension and hope for the best. To expect inheritance is totally unreasonable for many, many families these days. If you want to / can look after granny in her last days then fair enough. If you can't, then you have no reasonable expectation to get cash too.

But people that don't have an asset that can pay for their care are entitled to be looked after if they need it. Why should that be denied to someone that does have an asset? It's almost like discrimination against homeowners.

If someone chooses to sell their house to get them extras when they are old, then fair enough.

i agree dione.

regardless of whether the aunt sells her home or not, it is of no more use to her, she can get no further enjoyment from it. it sounds like the family are just pissed off they aren't getting to divvy up the estate.

we haven't all paid our taxes now have we.

theres some people that have never worked a day in their lives, skivers, fatcat tax dodgers philip green etc

My gran has just moved into a lovely home and her house will be sold to pay for the fees.

She needs to have the wherewithall to pay her own fees for 2 years. After that, when she runs out of money (which at £1000 per week will be about 2 years) the home will accept the council rate and she will never be expected to move out or change to a smaller room etc.

Thank Christ she had that house to sell. Money doesn't necessarily buy you a better level of care, but it's bought plenty in my gran's case. The council run homes that we looked at were grim .

I'm glad that she's been able to afford some extra comfort when she needed it most. I can't see how the money could have been spent better and hang any inheritence.

So you work so can't look after her, but want her house. Is that your point?

OP, why don't you become her carer in exchange for her leaving the house to you when she dies?

Oh right OP. If that's the way you feel then no one should be working and everyone should be on the dole. After all we'll all be better off right? And those elderly who didn't work, who brought up families while their husbands worked don't deserve the same respect as your aunt.

Why are you assuming that the OP wants her Aunts house? That's quite unkind when someone is actually in this position with someone they love, right now.

I could end up in the Aunts position one day, I would want my children to inherit, regardless of whether they want my money or not. If I'm in the unfortunate position of having dementia, and not really knowing the differnce between a great home and a not so great home, I'd much rather the money went tomy children.

You see, all of you taking the right on line about paying for care when elderly out of house sales need to stop a bit, and think.

As posters are pointing out, there's a two-tier (at least) level of care emerging, and it's going to get worse, fuelled by those who can afford to buy care when elderly (through house sales).

Not their fault, of course, and I'm sure it won't make people happy.

But it's like education. The ideal, even if we've dismissed it as an expensive pipe-dream, is free, universal provision.

Because otherwise you get a two-tier system.

i wouldn't get a penny from her house.
anyway.
that would go to her children
so don't assume i'm afetr her money, thats not the case at all

but i would like to leave my house to my dc.
and i feel working hard and saving like mad is a bit of a pointless waste of time at times

makes you think,might aswell squander the lot.

thats my point