I'm Probably being stupid...

[RoyalWelsh]

I'm probably being really silly, but I was just reading a thread about corsets and decided to look on corsets uk. Mine and DPs sex lifehas never been fantastic, especially after I put on weight and I've never been that confident with my body anyway, so I thought maybe something like a corset would spice things up and make me feel a bit more confident?

So anyway, there I was, looking at pretty corsets when DP walks by and sees what I am looking at and accuses me of cheating! He said something along the lines of, who would you be wearing it for? All I ever see you in is your pyjamas. I tried to explain, but he wouldn't hear it and has just walked out the front door. AIBU? How can I convince him I'm not lying?

Well done on losing that 3 1/2 stone!

And it is fine to buy a corset, if that's what you want. I have a couple I like to wear (when not up the duff!), it's lovely to see the look on DH's face when they come out of hiding at the back of the wardrobe. IMO you shouldn't wear a corset to attract a man - it would feel a bit slutty to me to wear one for someone I wasn't in a relationship with already!

And women should put a bit an effort in sometimes to keep their men happy. We would only complain if they sat on their arses and farted all day and expected us to find them devastatingly attractive. Oh, hang on...

er, weeell, if your dh is like my dh... yes?

tbh, your last post shows you might have a slightly simliar situartion to me (and millions of other new mums)!

after dc1 things went off the boil a bit, after dc2 i was putting dcs to bed 6 nights out of 7 as dh worked odd hours (he ould getup with me for breakfast ut i was dealiung with dcs durung day and at eveining when they were getting cranky, v tiring abnd stressful!) then gettimng tea on for me and dh...

i went from about a size 14 to 16 /18 after dc1 to size 20 after dc2, have exercised and not dieted but watched a little bit what i'm eating to start to trim down, but it was getting to be a vicious cycle of not wanting dh o see me in nip as i felt awful;, dh felt upset that i wasn't comfortable with him (this he was more upset about than the lack of sex) so one evening aftre glugging some wine i ordered the 'stuff', then another weekend evening (i knew i'd need to drink more wine to be brave so dh would need to get up with dcs so it couldn't be a 'school night' as we refer to work days!) i drunk more wine, got my showpony outfit on, half fell over getting ready, drunkenly calle dh up.. and 3 years of shyness out of the window!!

its not the solving all problems answer, but to give things a boost, appealing to a blokes mind, it won'y

t do you any harm while you look to get things back on track! hth's

Congratulations on the weight, and I hope it has boosted your confidence and energy levels - the reason I suggested it.

How attractive you are depends on how you feel, and the OP stated that she felt less confident because she had put on weight.

Pretty clothes also temporarily boost self esteem, which is why I have a couple of corsets for special occasions - in the bedroom, or out for the evening.

A relationship is about giving and receiving. One way to make your partner feel special is to do something you know they will enjoy. That could be cooking a nice meal, giving them a massage, buying them a present, or giving them a blow job. The point is, do something nice for them! As it's nearly midnight, a blow job is the easiest option!

Maybe its just me, but I would feel I was demeaning myself if I gave my husband a blow job just to keep him happy.

I wouldn't bother convincing him I wasn't lying if I was you op. I'd lock the door, leave the key turned in the lock and go to bed.

I am presuming those posters who are sugesting blow-jobs are hoping that you bite his dick off half way through

Good luck with your weight loss, but please make yourself feel better/lose the weight for you not this arsehole. And then leave him.

I think that's where I differ to other posters on this thread, charliesmommy. I think keeping my DP happy is my job as girlfriend - and keeping me happy is his job as boyfriend. Both in the bedroom and out of it. Blow jobs are something he enjoys, as is my tuna pasta bake - so I occasionally do both to please him

Many people find the suggestion of a (fairly normal) sexual practice shocking. I find the immediate assumption that breaking the family apart is the only assumption shocking.

OP, feel free not to take my advice. That's all it is - a suggestion of one way in which you could handle the situation. I hope youget htis sorted

I do think this "may" be more than just the corset thing, but of an overall issue indicative of your relationship generally, the trust thing, but only you know whats really going on there though, not me lol.

And it has been known for men to accuse their partners of cheating - when the man is the one whos cheating, its like a reverse psycholgy kind of thing - hes capable of it so he assumes the woman is to, plus it reflects his guilt.

But again only you would know whats going on.