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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect people to take their shoes/boots off?

304 replies

LargeGlassofVino · 15/01/2011 11:43

I always take my shoes off when I go into someone else's house. I don't understand why you wouldn't. Why would you traipse crap all through someone's home? Most people seem to do it, but there is a hardcore of people that do not - am I being unreasonable to expect them to? Is it rude to tell them to take them off?
We have wood floor from front to back - does that make a difference?
My mum never takes her shoes off. She came over the other day when it was pouring with rain, wearing her big winter boots and went to walk straight through. I asked her to take them off as I'd not long ago mopped the floor. She was quite taken aback as I never ask - good old unassertive me that I usually am... When it was time to go, she went into the hall and brought the boots back into the living area, putting them on over the brand new rug (that we'd just been talking about, so she knew it was new). Aggghhh!
My SIL is just as bad. We had a party a few years ago when the wood floor was quite new, and she refused to remove her pointy high heels when my OH asked her to, as she 'hadn't painted her toenails'. All 40 or so other guests had taken them off except her. She came over for a dinner party the other night and it was the same - she stomped round my house in her big high heeled boots, when everyone else was in socks.
I'm no clean-freak by any stretch of the imagination. I am just surprised by this hardcore of people who think it's reasonable to keep their mucky shoes on. It's winter as well - of course they're mucky. And we have a crawling baby in the house - surely that's reason enough to take them off?
If I am being unreasonable, I'd love to know why...

OP posts:
octopusinabox · 15/01/2011 18:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

auntyfash · 15/01/2011 18:44

Ah mucky floors help with babies immune systems!

1234ThumbScrew · 15/01/2011 18:48

We also have wooden floors downstairs and I wouldn't dream of asking people to remove their shoes. Wood floors are easy to sweep/hoover/mop as opposed to light coloured carpet, which can be a buggar to keep clean. Our sitting room has a light carpet, but being as you have to walk through two hard wood rooms before you get to it I don't ask visitors to take shoes off.

I hate slippers, think they're the naffest thing ever so wouldn't be impressed if I was asked to wear them. Neither would I like to remove my shoes if I were at a friends for supper. However my dc's automatically take their shoes off when we go to friends/family as they are likely to be muddy.

I think the OP's problem is that people don't see wood floors as being difficult to keep clean.

Laquitar · 15/01/2011 18:49

Many of you have said that it is a british thing to wear shoes indoors. Isn't it strange? Considaring that carpets are more common here? In europe we don't have carpets (laminate or marble floor) and we take the shoes off. It should be the other way around Confused

Also the british weather means mucky shoes.

Mumcentreplus · 15/01/2011 18:54

Ah...this again...I see nothing wrong with removing shoes when entering a home..seems polite to me..but some people get a bit antsy about it..Hmm

watfordmummy · 15/01/2011 18:56

U as if i am all dressed up, I don't want to ruin my outfit by suddenly having to take off my high heels and stand in stocking soles on you floor. My cankles always look bigger when have no heels on!!

HouseOfBamboo · 15/01/2011 18:57

Hmm - I usually offer to take my shoes off in other people's houses (unless host obviously doesn't). But I do get slightly pissed off about having to sit there with freezing feet if the floors are hard and they are shlepping around in their comfy slippers or 'indoor shoes'. What are you supposed to do, bring your comfy slippers with you?

Also, on a selfish and vain note, most of my current outfits (as in skinnyish jeans / jeggings with long top) look utterly shit with just socks and no boots. So if you're going to a proper 'social occasion' rather than just popping round for a cup of tea, you have to try and work out an outfit that works with socks or corny old bare feet - quite tricky, especially in the winter.

I never expect guests to remove their shoes even though there are carpets in some areas and (in the past) a crawling child. When people insisted I always felt guilty about them sitting/standing there with freezing feet on the floorboarded/tiled areas.

sarah293 · 15/01/2011 19:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Mumcentreplus · 15/01/2011 19:02

I see nothing wrong with offering socks...if it was a special occassion I would not have that expectation ...but in general terms I don't like shoes in the house..

whiteflame · 15/01/2011 19:02

YANBU.

I really, really don't get this... maybe usualsuspect can explain it? I can (just about) understand not taking shoes off in your own house, but to be offended because someone doesn't want you to wear them in theirs?? So what? If you have athletes foot wear/take socks.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 15/01/2011 19:06

i have worked out how to get people to take their shoes off without asking them or putting up a sign.

carpet your house entirely, apart from the bit they walk into when entering, in cream carpet and in the place they enter (hall, porch, kitchen etc) have a row of your own shoes on the floor or a rack.

my aunt had a party over christmas and when i was in the hall about to go into the living room i saw the cream carpet and immediately turned round and told dses to take their shoes off and as i said this i noticed the family already had a row of shoes in the hall. worked a treat, everyone that arrived took shoes off straight away and nobody had to ask them.

HouseOfBamboo · 15/01/2011 19:10

Actually carpets are horribly unhygienic things whether you wear shoes on them or not. They will never be as clean as a properly cleaned hard surface.

HouseOfBamboo · 15/01/2011 19:11

But having said that, the average carpet is unlikely to do you any real harm, shoes or no shoes Wink

reratio · 15/01/2011 19:15

It depends who it is, if it were close family or friends then I would ask them to take them off but if it wasn't then I wouldn't

MsKLo · 15/01/2011 19:15

Yanbu but

It is your home and you need to just ask them to do it! At the end of the day you are going to be at fault for not saying take your bloody shoes OFF!

Smile
Laquitar · 15/01/2011 19:21

Those of you who have carpets what do you do with trademen? If someone needs to go to the bedrooms/nursery to check radiators do you ask them to remove the shoes?

strawberrycake · 15/01/2011 19:27

Laquitar- yes. Why not.

Worse still, my flat is rather over crowded small (3 kids, small 2 bed) and the only access to one radiator is by climbing over our bed (to move it would involved dismantling furniture to get it out the room). I was hardly going to say it was ok to go over my bed with shoes!

cabbageroses · 15/01/2011 19:29

I do think parents should make their young children and toddlers remove shoes. I have in the past had heart stopping moments when toddlers were allowed to climb all over my fixed-cover sofa and chairs with shoes on- dirty shoes- and parents seemed unaware.
I even had an ex neighbour who allowed her child to dance up and down on my sofa in shoes.

I think it's just polite to offer to remove your shoes if they weather is wet and your shoes are muddy. I don't mind so much in summer, but anyone who tried to walk in my house in winter with snow, grit/salt from the road or mud would be asked to take the shoes OFF.

Carpets etc cost thousands of pounds- why should they be ruined by one person's thoughtlessness?

cabbageroses · 15/01/2011 19:29

Laquitar- most remove them anyway. if they didn't then i would simply ask them.

sarah293 · 15/01/2011 19:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Laquitar · 15/01/2011 19:34

I have image of the plumber climbing over your bed now Grin

Laquitar · 15/01/2011 19:39

Wow thats a good idea ivy and cheap aswell.

Mind you i dont have carpets but i am about to fit a runner on the stairs. I will order these thanks.

TickettyBoo · 15/01/2011 19:41

YANBU and I offer to take my shoes off if it looks like the "type" of place where this might be wanted e.g. I probably wouldn't offer if everyone seemed to have their shoes on tho.

My oh has a real thing about this and REFUSES to take off his shoes - he would rather leave/not visit than take off his shoes and thinks it's really rude to be asked!lol.

strawberrycake · 15/01/2011 19:42

lol, the plumber was surprised, but hey he was paid! We can't all pick and choose on space.

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