to think trying to cut step children out of a will is evil?

[kepler10b]

did anyone see Can't Take It With You on BBC2 last night? I have never shouted at a television so much. It featured two men who had remarried and their current wives wanted to cut the children from former marriages out of the wills (or greatly reduce the amount paid to them). And the men were putting up with it! Not only did they not want the children to have the money they wanted to leave it to charity...although that was slightly shown up as a lie when the will writing came into play. It was clearly just jealousy and self-serving power play. The truth really comes out when money is at stake.

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00xk05j/Cant_Take_It_with_You_Charity_Doesnt_Begin_at_Home/

I wasn't shocked at the 75%, people don't like thinking or talking about death. Anyone who has a child should make a will, however young they are, and shouldn't just make assumptions. You need to sort out guardians, if nothing else.

Gagghh this reminds me that I need DH to sort himself out and get a will written - we both need to do this as a matter of priority!

If anything happens to me and DH - DSS may not get anything as DH is not on DSS's birth cert. Though I could be wrong about this!

So I think it is bloody important we make it clear that DSS gets an equal share of any money we leave (hahahaha what money!!!).

But seriously yeah that is shit, Kelper. I personally think anything we leave should be split equally between DSS, DS and DC2. I honestly can't see it being fair to give less to DSS.

Haven't seen the programme, but will making is just not as cut and dried as the OP is making out.

My DH and I have two DC together and he has 1 DS from a previous relationship. DSS is an adult. Our DC are very young. We have a lot of assets and property and I am likely to inherit a substantial amount of money.

I love my DSS to bits and will leave him a cash legacy. However, outside of this, my assets will be split 2 ways between my 2 children and DH's will be split 3 ways between his 3 children.

DSS will therefore be inheriting from his own two parents, as will my DC.

How can that not be fair?

YAB abit U. With the first couple, the children were grown not her own, and its up to her what she does with her share. The solicitors did give both couples some good advice though.

simplyread that is exactly how we are doing it.

What would be evil is if DH died and left everything to me and then I left 100% to our 2 DC and cut DSS out.

Hopefully what I am about to write will make sense...

The onus must be on each parent to ensure all of their children are treated equally and fairly.

Imagine each parent has 100% of assets to be split between their children equally. In my scenario, DSS is his mother's only child.

So, DSS will get 100% of his mother's estate and 33% of DH's.

Our DC will get 50% each of my estate and 33% each of DH's.

So...

DSS will inherit 133% of his parents' estate

DC1 will inherit 83% of her parents' estate

DC2 will inherit 83% too.

I just cannot understand how that would be unfair?

Thats just how I worked it out too.

And since my husband bought the house they (exwife and dss) lived in (even though its hers now as he gave it to her, no issue with that btw)...he feels he has contributed that to dss and that or the equivalentmonety for that will go completely to dss. My dh even feels it works out unevenly in dss favour so he is happy with our calculations.

I think whoever posted above about personal treasures and family heirlooms made an interesting point. If our boys were 2 girls, I would not want to pass on my jewellery or my grandmother's/mother's items to anyone but my own child. That would never be evenly split. In fact even with boys.

Snap!

That program shocked me.

The first woman actually hated her husbands children and had nothing to do with them. The second woman clearly felt similar as the husband was saying that it wouldn't be fair on her if he had his kids and grandkids round on Christmas day! What sort of person would deny their partner the chance to see their family at Christmas!?

Both the women were jealous and petty! If you go into a new relationship and the person already has kids then you either accept them as part of your own extended family or you don't pursue the relationship.

Someone pointed out that in second couple the kids were his step kids. . . that's neither here nor there, he raised them and obviously loved them as everytime he talked about the situation he nearly started crying. Felt very sorry for him. No one was saying that she should leave all her money to HIS kids but she didn't want HIM to leave his money to HIS kids. She didn't even want him to leave half of it to them.

The program shocked me. Those women were disgusting as they have caused distance between men and their children. That has nothing to do with the money but everything to do with the fact that they weren't accepting of the children and made no effort with them.

Is this an expectation only for females?

I have a friend who is cohabiting, although not married been with his partner 10 years), with a woman who has 2 children from her previous marriage.

The 2 children are over 18 now. They have a father who supports them well.
My friend and his defacto have a child together- he is 4.

So is this man also expected to will everything he has now to all 3 children? I doubt it.

I also have another who has an 16 year old girl and is now pregnant . They have all moved in with the new fiance. A baby boy is coming soon. So will that man now leave all he has to those 2 children equally? Will he heck!

I do agree re personal/family assets-I have left most of my jewellery etc to dd and the most valuable item to dgd because dd has two boys who will eventually inherit.I have also bequeathed a token item to each step dgc eg Royal Crown Derby items or jewellery.Things that were my family's go to my dc and dh's family stuff to his dc.

It was me that mentioned jewellery.

In my family the jewellery has always passed down the maternal line.

My brother has had 2 marriages and 6 children (including 2 SC). There is no way it would be fair that family treasures would be passed on to a none "blood line" and move outside the family

After it has passed onto me, it will move onto my daughter when my time comes.

If she has no daughter then it will be kept for the first female grandchild