I think this was rude.......

[kelway]

Today I was walking along on my way to collect dd from school and was chatting to my dd's bf mother (she is from Pakistan). we were making small chit chat and then a women came along (also from Pakistan) who knew the other women although not very well (i could tell) more on a school run level. What got my gander up (!) was that the other women although clearly able to speak realy good english suddenly started to talk to the lady i was already chatting to in Pakistani thus rendering me useless. I was really embarassed as i was suddenly thrown out of the loop as I cannot understand Pakistani. I felt really weird 'did i stay and walk along with them as i had been deep in conversation with the other lady up until that point' or 'should i walk away as i felt suddenly disgarded, tossed aside like an old shoe'! i think it was rude of the other women, i felt like a real outsider, i thought it most unuescessary ie the other women could have joined in with us instead of clearly throwing me out of any shared friendliness

Lol Was her name Tania?

Sorry, just get irritated when some posters are being pedantic, be it about precise identification of a particular language or 100% correct grammar or spelling.

It just sometimes comes across to me as smacking of superiority and aggression rather than something more helpful to the original point the OP was trying to make or discuss.

But otherwise I am rather chilled out

They might be rude but they might also speak another language as a first language and find it easier to speak in that one. The same as you would speak English to another English person in another country which doesn't speak English as a first language in front of a non English speaking onlooker. It would be natural for you to slip into English. Would that be rude?

PS there is no such language called Pakistani. People from that part of the world speak urdu, punjabi, English or pushto.

I am One of only two white women at my women's group. I am the only woman that speaks only English.
The group rule is that English is spoken at all times. Most of the rest of the women are British Pakistani and speak many languages. If anything is said in other than English everybody is keen to translate for me and if somebody not of our group comes in speaking Urdu or Pushto they are asked not to be rude and to allow everybody to join the conversation.

**13/01/2011 18:27 OnEdge

It was rude, but it would have been really funny if you were able to join in in fluent Pakistani, she would have been so shocked grin

I was seeing the health visitor one day and a young woman was in front of me, we are usually dealt with in an open room, no privacy.
The woman in front of me was Asian and looked very young. The health visitor is an older Asian woman. I have been dealing with her for about 14 years.
Young Woman - you asked me to come in.
Health Visitor - Yes. We can speak in Urdu if you would be more comfortable in your home language.
YW - in beautiful totally accent free English - Urdu is one of the 9 languages I am fluent in. But German is my Home language. We will speak in Urdu if you prefer and are more comfortable with that.
I loved that girl. How many steriotypes and assumptions did she smash in those couple of sentences. and at the same time put the Health Visitor in her place

The other woman was very rude for interrupting your conversation rather then waiting especially when you couldn't join in. Your friend was rude too for now cutting her off, asking her to wait to speak to you or switching to english to excuse and say 'catch up with you later to you so you didn't feel like a spare wheel'.