To think swinging is URRGH!?

[TurkeyBurgerThing]

There is are two couples on This Morning just now talking about their love for swinging. They're just your normal looking every day couples. One couple own a swinging hotel and they do to clubs.

I find this really sleazy and just plain weird. She's saying that it's really common amongst primary school teachers too!!

Eeeew I bet they'll be swapping after the show.

AIBU to think this is a very strange thing to do and be so open about?

It's not just sad, it's pathetically sad.

Whenever there are proponents of the swinging lifestyle on TV, they always look like extras from Shameless.
I wouldn't want to sit next to them on the bus, let alone have hot monkey sex with them, even if they had been in a vat of sheep-dip.

I think Chaya has hit the nail on the head for me in terms of understanding why I'm not likely to ever try it or like it.

Okay so I am married and monagamous and all that yes, but for arguments sake say I was either single or someone who shagged around looking for a bit on the side - I would seek a bit of build up and sexual tension, would want to be pursued but in a non sleazy way, and get to know and maybe not love but lust after the person before I had sex with them. This (I presume) is not really possible at a swingers club because even if you were a regular and gradually got to know someone, its so "out there" in terms of your intention being there in the first place that it would kill the mystery and ruin the build up.

I don't feel offended by the term mundane either, just as I dont feel like attacking the swinging lifestyle but realise why its probably not for me. I dont feel insecure about my sexual preferences - it is fairly "mundane" in terms of criteria when you think about it - making a decision (and backing it up with a contract of marriage) not to intend never to have sex with anyone else ever again. On paper, that sounds about as mundane as it can be, sexually.

In practice its not, in that when you are in the moment and day to day life it doesn't feel mundane, though there are aspects of it that probably are, but that's okay, and if it wasn't, it might be too much hassle/preparation/emotional rollercoaster. If that makes sense! Depending what else is going on in your life at the time (kids? illness? work? etc)

I have vanilla sex too sometimes! Vanilla is nice! I wouldn't want the same flavour all the time though and I'd hate to be told it always has to be vanilla forever. Surely its about choice a bit too.

What a ramble - I think what I'm really saying is each to their own and I tend to agree that nobody should really feel the need to attack anyone else's choice or be offended by anyone else attacking their choice...

Unquietdad - it was called Benidorm wasn't it......?

Just to add, my husband nearly ended up in A&E on our wedding night, so not too mundane or vanilla really, I promise

Tatty - You're not a vampire, are you?

Come on though, when you see places like the charming Atlantis club, you just can't help taking the piss.
Me even more so because I know exactly where it is and just how icky that makes it .

LeQueen, until you have seen ten or fifteen middle-aged people laced into rubber and latex and doing a three - legged race I feel you are not qualified to mock.

There do tend to be middle aged people doing it, and that is perhaps where it may stick in some younger throats as no one wants to watch their mum and dad having it off....and we are genetically programmed to press the sick button at that.

I wouldn't want to lie there legs akimbo in my glass heeled shoes with Maureen patting my hand and giving me, her postman and her husband motherly encouragement in a Bristolian dinner lady accent,"ooh go on Brian she really looks like she's enjoying that, ow about a little tweak of your nipples my lovely, would you like me to do that" "Derek, why don't you flip er over and take her up the wrong 'un?"

And how about the etiquette, aren't we just too polite to say no in the UK, would we get into something we really had to save face and carry through? Is it ok to go round saying I wouldn't fuck you in a month of Sundays cos your breath stinks and you have B.O ? They might give you the heebie jeebies but what can you do about them staring up your gash in the labia lounge if you are pinned to the bed?

And what if, one day, your kids do it, and walk in and see mum there? Have you practiced your conversation for that eventful day? Can every parent on here say that they would be happy for their daughter to be a jizz receptacle for 10 men an evening? These clubs are driven by the need for sex above all else....let us not dress it up with cheese biscuits and cushions, it actually makes it easier to happen than arranging bowls of car keys in living rooms....the overall drive is to get your end away.

Binful - no, definitely "Dear John" I'm thinking of. The one about the divorced and separated group.

It more than activates my sick button and I'm 45!
Most things, even if I have no interest in them, I can at least understand why some people do.

Having sex with another person/persons, with the full knowledge/encouragement etc. of your partner and watching your partner giving orgasms to and receiving orgasms from others, disgusts me in a visceral way that nothing else done by consenting adult couples does.

A sexual relationship (as opposed to a single person having casual sexual encounters with multiple people) is between two people, anything else renders it worthless.

at LeQueen's Brenda with her clipboard.

OTheHugeManatee I know exactly the event you mean! I went to it about 15 years ago and wrote an article about it in Ms London magazine afterwards. The pony races are the event that sticks most in my mind! Is it still going?

I can't speak with any authority on swingers' clubs, as I've never been. I remember going to a fetish club called Rubber Nipple once though, which was fetish-swinger crossover. I remember a woman bent over a table with a queue of men behind her, waiting their turn. I'd taken rather a lot of drugs, so smiled benignly and thought 'how lovely that everyone's enjoying themselves'. I didn't go to Rubber Nipple again though. At the same club, in my drugged happy haze, I saw someone who looked incredibly familiar, and who kept smiling at me. In the end I went over and said "Do you know me? You look very familiar". He said "I'm an actor in The Bill, that's probably where you know me from".

Bearing in mind this was about fifteen years ago, can anyone guess...? It's just the one you'd think of.

Completely agree with Malificence and TattyDevine.

WEll I guess that's why they need special clubs for it - like most anoraky hobbies, the whole business leaves the majority of people feeling or .

Peering Oh. My. Christ.

Of all the things I thought I might have in common with another MN-er, I'd never have guessed that.

"I remember a woman bent over a table with a queue of men behind her, waiting their turn".

How can anyone enjoy that? God it makes me want to heave.

Malificence - yes, it's a bit sick really.

Agree.

Mind you, I'm a "Doctor Who" fan and I'm sure some of the stuff we get up to seems utterly perverted to "mundanes", or "the not-we" as we call them...

i am a "breathtakingly gorgeous mundane"

Actually im just normal but i feel breathtakingly gorgeous cos i am with a man who adores me and wants to enjoy sex WITH me and not TO me.He is clean hansdsome intelligent funny and familiar and knows what i like and dont like.I am never hurt when we have sex(unless i want to be)and cant catch any nasty diseases and if i became pregnant it would all be ok cos he would be right beside me.

That is what makes me feel gorgeous and my self esteem is rocketing,not sure some swingers could say the same.

This thread is hilarious

its great innit,best fun ive had for ages.

I would swing, but don't really have the time. Also my bod is a bit disgusting so only the really ugly people would want to have sex with me.

OTheHugeManatee

No, I never wanted to see what I saw at Rubber Nipple again either, I must admit. But I still don't judge people for doing it if that's what floats their boat.

I liked going to fetish clubs because I was young and gorgeous (in the right light with the right makeup ) and I liked wearing my 22inch corset and stockings and high heels and looking outrageously provocative without getting hassled by beery blokes who thought that if I was wearing something sexy, that must mean I wanted to fuck them. Swinger parties wouldn't have been my thing at all because the expectation is that you want to have sex, whereas at a fetish club, it isn't at all - noone would assume what you're into, they'd ask you. I loved the variety of people you got in fetish clubs, and how well they all got on - nubile eighteen year olds just wearing a chain or rope, chatting to a pensioner with a blue rinse and wearing a knee length skirt and blouse, but rubber. Fab!

I wouldn't dream of going to one now, because I no longer have a body worth flaunting.

Now I'm going to flounce crossly, because noone's tried to guess which actor from The Bill was at Rubber Nipple.