To think swinging is URRGH!?

[TurkeyBurgerThing]

There is are two couples on This Morning just now talking about their love for swinging. They're just your normal looking every day couples. One couple own a swinging hotel and they do to clubs.

I find this really sleazy and just plain weird. She's saying that it's really common amongst primary school teachers too!!

Eeeew I bet they'll be swapping after the show.

AIBU to think this is a very strange thing to do and be so open about?

Yes most night clubs are grotty but we aren't rolling around on the floor getting spit roasted and choke fucked in them are we?

And they don't stink of dettol.

And anything is piss take fodder for me, not just swingers clubs.....and i take the piss out of dodgy nightclubs, straight sex, lawnmowers...anything really.

But yet again it is judge and be judged, obviously we have unadventurous sex lives or are small minded because we are taking the piss. Yet on op has named things she wouldn't do sexually that a lot of so called "vanilla" couples do and enjoy on a regular basis.

But a few of us have been to these places on the thread and yes just felt it all a bit seedy and enforced and for some it went wrong.

And yes the arguments about it not being risky but yet still there are people on here who picked up diseases or had bad experiences from swinging but they never seem to get the acknowledgement.

stuffingi defended my monogamy when a poster suggested it was "VANILLA" which was also very judgmental and untrue,i just like to shag the same person,if one day i get the urge to swing,dog or make a porn film i shall do that too.

No nikki don't worry, I think you are a star to come on here and explain.

And until they invent a fisting condom or a frig cover, or dip you in cilit bang at the door it is a risk.

One persons infected minge juice straight from a moustache on to your quim.....no cocks or jizz required.

nikki of course you wouldnt be judged (not by anyone who matters) sounds as if you had a bad experience all round and you were unlucky great that you have the guts to tell the tale and thus help others to make an informed decision if they want to try it themselves.

binfull-eeewwwwwwwwwwwww "infected minge juice". Way to put the thread on a downer.

I am putting my husband down for the free lap dancing lessons in the Atlantis though....

Imagine the pride he will feel when I swipe my Tesco club card between his arse cheeks as a form of payment for his sexy services.

LEDKR... Have to admit the whole look of the dogging site wa totally off putting to both myself and B/F as we decided it wasnt what we would want to indulge in

I'm not opposed to the whole idea of swapping mind and think FB's version is more appealing

Interacting with other human beings in any way carries a certain amount of risk, though. 'Nice' men who tell you all about how monogamous they are and how much they love you can turn out to be abusive, controlling nutjobs. When you embark on a sexual relationship with a new partner, unless the pair of you are certified virgins, there is a possibility that one or both of you could be carrying an infection (without necessarily knowing that you are infectious), and while condoms protect against most things, they don't keep everything out and they also sometimes rip.

Given the number of threads on the relationship board about men who might be monogamous but who are lazy, selfish or seriously abusive, it's a wonder there are't more people pointing out the very real risks of engaging in monogamy or getting married.

still feeling queasy over the swinger-finger-buffet

"One persons infected minge juice straight from a moustache on to your quim.....no cocks or jizz required."

I have just been a bit sick in my mouth.

Oh and I would never go near a man with a moustache

I wish I hadn't read about the minge juice before breakfast

I have no opinion either way. Could not give a glittery shit what people choose to do with their baby whizzways/cocks but my favourite poster of the YEAR, and it's only january, is binfulofmaggotsonthe45 for "slashed hamster" "infected minge juice" and this gem:

"I suppose the Ginger room Is a good idea though, I bet the dyson looks like it's full of fibreglass insulation after it sucks all the ginger pubes up, well after they've removed the extension suction nozzle from an octogenarian QC's cock of course."

Nearly spat my cornflakes out when I read that

i dont think that one of the risks of being in a monogomous relationships is lazyness and serious abuse!That could happen with any relationship and just because you swing does not mean you are immune to an abusive relationship-that is taking it a tad too far me thinks.

"Dont you just love it when saggy old birds put on some primark underwear and some shiney knee high boots,draw on some eyebrows and bobs your uncle; a stunner!"

howling

I don't give a monkeys what people get up to, if swinging floats your boat then good one you. i also don't care that monogamy is described as vanilla, but being called 'mundane' is tiresome, SGB, I wish you would stop that.

Well it doesn't float my boat in the slightest, but each to their own. I find anything other than a genuine, spontaneous, one to one animal attraction culminating in two people doing it alone, for no-one elses benefit but their own, a bit icky. I certainly couldn;t relax doing it in the presence of others, and I couldn't go to a party full of strangers with the expectation that both I and my DH would get a shag with different people - not spontaneous, not genuine mutual lust, not enough quality control going on for my liking.

To plan to go out and get laid with the best of a (possibly quite bad) bunch in a room implies a lack of choosiness that I find a bit grubby. But hey, as long as they all all consenting adults what do I care?

SGB - I respect your viewpoint. Understand it since going on MN. But stop calling us "mundanes". It's bloody rude

I always loved the swings the best. Made my tummy go all funny.

Well done LeQueen. Keep up the good work.

That's exactly how I imagine it.

"And until they invent a fisting condom or a frig cover, or dip you in cilit bang at the door it is a risk."

I read 'clit bang' and got visuals.

Oh and @ LeQueen: I've been to fetish clubs in the distant sordid past, and actually you aren't far off the mark.

Can you imagine the sweating, the grunting and the squelching, not to mention the minge juice and the overpowering smell of condoms.

Lovely , what's not to like about a room full of (fairly hideous) people contorting themselves and desperately trying to be sexy while making small talk and groping around hopefully.
I'd rather gouge out my eyes with a pineapple on a stick.

You must have to be deludingly vain too.

I want a badge saying "mundane and damn proud of it".

heh heh, I have been lurking on this thread for a while (like some dodgy dogger...) and just had to expose myself to say that LeQueen you have provided me with much amusement. Keep writing!

I guess why swinging doesn't appeal to me at all is that my rule for shagging someone has always been that they must fall into one of two categories:

1. I am in love with them (and they love me); or
2. They are too irresistably hot not to.

I just don't see how swinging fulfils either of those. Now that I am married the idea of having sex with someone I don't love (and I am only in love with my husband) is repulsive to me but even if I were single I don't see how you would find someone irresistably hot in the contrived way that swinging seems to operate. Irresistably hot sex usually occurred for me spontaneously and was about passion, desire etc not checking out a person (or in a swinger's case, couples) credentials on the internet etc the way that the swingers on here have mentioned.

So I feel like swinging lacks both love and passion - the worst of both worlds.

Am at making any sense at all...?