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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to throw my DS's Lego in the bin?

47 replies

MommyMayhem · 13/01/2011 07:19

My DS is 5. A very bright and precocious 5, I might add. His room is a tip and although I am happy to clean and organise it for him, I do expect him to help, even just a gesture towards helping I would be happy with. His favourite thing is Lego. The thing is, it is everywhere, all over the floor in his room. He has a Lego bag to keep it all in, which you can open and lay out and play with your Lego on that. For the past few days I have been asking him to put his Lego away in the Lego bag, and then I will do everything else. I have a slipped disc in my back, which makes crawling around on the floor difficult, although I don't expect him to understand this.

Conversation this morning (and every morning for the past few days):

Me: Darling, please put your Lego away.
DS: No.
Me: If you don't put your Lego away I am going to throw it in the bin and the garbage men will take it away.
DS: Just let me do this [play/read/watch TV] and then I'll do it.

Needless to say, it doesn't get done.

I don't know what to do, please help. I want to throw his Lego away but it seems a bit mean. He really is a lovely child in so many ways, I just can't get him to help tidy his room.

Thanks.

OP posts:
weegiemum · 13/01/2011 07:23

You're doing it the wrong way round!

No sweetheart, you put your lego away and then I will let you play/read/watch tv.

marriednotdead · 13/01/2011 07:29

I totally understand your frustration- lego is soooo messy and a bad back is very stressful.

He needs to understand that you will follow through with your threats, otherwise they are meaningless.

Remove it all and allow him to believe it has gone (but don't throw it away).

At the point he tells you no, whatever he is doing ends immediately- you cannot let a 5 yo take control.

hopenglory · 13/01/2011 07:31

if you've told him you're going to have to throw it away, then you need to do it

SlowComfortableShrew · 13/01/2011 07:32

Yabu. Legislation never belongs in the bin. It is the toy of the gods.

SlowComfortableShrew · 13/01/2011 07:33

Lego sorry, damn predictive text.

Original poster
MommyMayhem · 13/01/2011 07:35

So what should I do them SlowComfortableShrew?

Thanks all for your messages by the way.

OP posts:
Honeydragon · 13/01/2011 07:36

Pack it up put it away. Explain that he is not old enough to have have it and rather than put it in the bin and waste it your going to keep it until he has demonstrated he is old enough to do as he is told and tidy his toys.

compo · 13/01/2011 07:36

Well it's very early to start nagging about tidying
ask him after school
if you go and tidy your room you can have a comic on Saturday for example

Original poster
MommyMayhem · 13/01/2011 07:37

No, it's afternoon here Compo!

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 13/01/2011 07:38

Agree, no TV until lego put away.
You also need to put another step in before the bin. I had a high shelf, sister had a cupboard. Lego time out for a day or longer.

peppapighastakenovermylife · 13/01/2011 07:40

Yes but don't put it in the bin, ebay it Wink

Marjoriew · 13/01/2011 07:45

Throwing it in the bin is cutting off your nose to spite your face - lego is expensive.
5 is old enough to start him on responsibility for his possessions/toys.
Agree with Goblinchild- time out for Lego.

CabbagefromaBaby · 13/01/2011 07:46
Shock

sacrilege. NEVER bin lego, it lasts for ever and you can use it for your grandchildren, plus it keeps your child busy for ages.

And it's brilliant. And expensive.

So if you're getting rid, which I think would be really mean - at least give it to someone else.

Original poster
MommyMayhem · 13/01/2011 07:47

Yeah, I thought of taking it to the Charity Shop and "giving it to the poor children", but I don't want him to grow up resenting poor children 'cos they've got all his Lego, LOL!

OP posts:
legspinner · 13/01/2011 07:53

My DS's best friend (aged 9) has his Lego confiscated for up to a week if he doesn't clear it away with enough warning(this is when we get him coming over to ours more often to play Grin)
No way would I throw it away either! Just have it in time out for a while...

Blatherskite · 13/01/2011 07:55

Change the threat. Tell him if he doesn't clear up his LEGO, you will put it in a box in the loft until he demonstrates that he can keep his things tidy.

Give him until bedtime, then remove it all tomorrow if it's still out.

You can then bring it back in dribs and drabs as he earns it back.

LEGO is too expensive to bin

Goblinchild · 13/01/2011 07:57

Problem is that you are using an all or nothing approach.
You need to have a graded series of consequences, rather than 0-60 in five seconds.
What will you do when he does something very naughty, rather than just lazy?

SlowComfortableShrew · 13/01/2011 08:00

Confiscate it. It's ok to admit to him you were wrong to say you throw it away.

Ormirian · 13/01/2011 08:01

Don't make it a punishment just a fact of life. When you hoover the lego will get sucked up so it's up to him if he moves it or not. I'm afraid my DC have probably lost a few tiny but vital bits and pieces because they persist on leaving it on the floor.

SoupDragon · 13/01/2011 08:05

If mine don't tidy away, I approach their rooms with a large bin sack and a shovel. I am fairly lax about their rooms but they do reach a point where it is a hazard to go in there.

Failing that, bribery/reward. 'Tidy up your lego and you can do XXX' and no doing XXX until it is done.

"I have a slipped disc in my back, which makes crawling around on the floor difficult, although I don't expect him to understand"

He is more than old enough to understand. Especially if he is 'bright anfd prococious'. DD has understood how "mummy's bad back" stopped me doing stuff since she was 3.

Chandon · 13/01/2011 08:10

sorry, but the problem is not the lego, it is your attitude.

What do you mean "you'll do anything else", and what about you letting him answer back to you like that?!

It's quite simple, unless you really do not like conflict. I tell my 5 year old to tidy his lego up (in a big plastic bucket) or else no pudding, or no no bedtime story, or.... (depending on time of the day)or say he cannot leave his room until he has tidied up.

Sometimes it causes tears and tantrums, but at this age they can really tidy up themselves. don't make a rod for your own back! I have a slipped disc too, so I just refuse to do it all myself. Exactly!

Good luck!

Original poster
MommyMayhem · 13/01/2011 08:15

Thanks SoupDragon and Chandon, I was worried that I was being a bit mean. Part of me thinks that he is still too young to tidy up after himself. That's rubbish, isn't it?

OP posts:
tyzer2001 · 13/01/2011 08:18

Lego sells like hot cakes on ebay so binning it would be silly. But selling it would be a little harsh!

I agree with the others, take it away for a set period of time. At the end of that time, return it with the proviso that it must be tidied up after play or it will go again for longer this time. ad infinitum.

nameymacnamechanger · 13/01/2011 08:21

He is more than capable of putting lego (and any other toys) back in their box/bag. If my DS is glued to the tv when I want him to something I turn it off. Simples. Grin

Also he is old enough to understand you have a bad back.

SoupDragon · 13/01/2011 08:25

i think he's too young to cope with a full on "tidy your room" but they really should be able to grapes putting a specific toy away. Mine can't, mind you and they're 11, 9 and 4 [sigh] However, I m not a tidy person myself.

You could make it a game - we used to race to collect all the bits of Geomag (although for some reason I always came last Hmm :o)