Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have had this argument with a woman in Weatherspoons today?

554 replies

OnEdge · 11/01/2011 19:32

I tok my 18 week and 18 month old into Weatherspoons this morning. The lift was out of order so I ended up leaving the baby in the buggy, unstrapping my son and taking him a level (4 steps) to the bar to order my coffee. I took my son because had I left him strapped in the buggy he would have started arching his back and becoming agitated. The buggy was only about 12 feet away from where I was standing at the bar. My boy was toddling about, within a few feet of me while I waited to be served. A lady bought a coffee and was walking past me to her table with it, I saw my son walk round a large pillar and could possibley walk into her path. I warned the lady and said "oooh ! careful" and pointed my son. She walked past him and said loudly "He shouldn't be walking about !"

So I followed her to her seat and asked her why my son should not walk about.

Her "Its not me that says it, its this place."

Me "But YOU said it, what do you expect me to do with him when I place my order ?"

Her "Can't you strap him in a buggy?"

Me "No I will not strap my child down for your convenience>"

Her "I didn't want to step on him"

Me "All you had to do was look where you were going, I warned you he was there."

and then it carried on for another 2 minutes.

So, was I BU ????

I'm gonna get slaughtered, but I am intrigued as to whether or not you think I was out of order.

OP posts:
Original poster
OnEdge · 11/01/2011 23:33

He didn't wander off, I was with him FFS !

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 11/01/2011 23:34

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Original poster
OnEdge · 11/01/2011 23:35

I was with him watching him and pointing him out to the only one other person within several feet of him. I won't strap him down so that one person does not have to carefully walk past him.

OP posts:
Original poster
OnEdge · 11/01/2011 23:36

Shame on you buggy strappers

OP posts:
mears · 11/01/2011 23:37

You have contradicted yourself. He wasn't beside you. Your attention would be broken when paying for your drink etc. He may have been in the same room but he was not with you ie right beside you. It sounds as though you are reluctant to have any discipline and just let your children do what they want. That is the way it has come across.
Perhaps you fall oyut with so many people because you are stressed out letting your kids do what they like when they like. That is lazy mothering IMO. You were not protecting his health and safety which is the bottom line.

MadameDefarge · 11/01/2011 23:37

And on that memorable line, shall we just leave it?

mears · 11/01/2011 23:39

Absolutely

Original poster
OnEdge · 12/01/2011 00:04

no

OP posts:
Original poster
OnEdge · 12/01/2011 00:05

i dont fall out with people in real life, appart from the old lady, and the lady in Auto glass

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 12/01/2011 00:36

Now we need the Auto Glass story.

Scuttlebutter · 12/01/2011 00:41

OP, I really, truly, desperately hope you are not a nurse who cares for the elderly because your contempt for them, as shown by the language you've used, is shocking and horrible. It's possible that you yourself will one day be older and "doddery" - as a nurse, I'd have expected you to understand that if people are elderly they are at even greater risk from falls, slips and accidents, are often not able to move as quickly, and quite possibly may have restricted vision or hearing.

As many people have said, in a cafe or a pub, customers will be carrying hot drinks, glasses, and hot food - all these are hazards to small children.

ILovedYou · 12/01/2011 00:58

YABVU - I agree with hambo. You were looking for an argument. Keep hold of your child's hand - he/she is your responsibility.

Tortington · 12/01/2011 01:34

yabu, i'd have told you to fuck ff and get a hobby to give you something more useful to think about Smile

MrsBonkers · 12/01/2011 01:47

OMG I know the last post was a couple of hours ago but its taken me this long to read through.

So I'll ignore the first bit as it has been established that your DS WAS a hazard and you shouldn't have spoken to the lady but your son.
Why why why did you feel the need to follow a stranger to their table?

I like someones elses decription of you as a fishwife - reminds me why I avoid Wetherspoons.

cumbria81 · 12/01/2011 05:52

YABU.

Many moons ago I worked as a waitress in a Weatherspoonsy type pub. Kids were always allowed to toddle around which made my life as a waitress hell as I tried to avoid them with hot plates of food. You should have kept hold of him.

Gemsy83 · 12/01/2011 06:02

OP- get a life, troll.

YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch · 12/01/2011 06:10

You're right. Leaving children in buggies is tantamount to torture and DEFINITELY against their human rights.

I'm a big advocate for gaffer tape. If in doubt tape the small child to an available surface. It'll work on chairs, walls, even ceilings! And the little loves adore it :)

Happy mum, happy old lady, happy waitresses. Job done.

It's the future, people!

On a more serious note, small dcs out of a push chair should be taught to hold your hand in a public place. It can take a bit of training, but it's a must for their safety. If they won't hold hands (and it can take a bit of training) then reins are the way to go.

But if I was getting hot drinks I'd pop dd in a high chair with a snack or toy before I began.

Op you are a stubborn tyke aren't you? Haven't seen such an unreasonable op being argued out in a long time. Good show.

Gemsy83 · 12/01/2011 06:17

WHAT? Put little prince in a HIGHCHAIR Shock!!! He likes to roam freely like a free range hen silly! Why deny his freedom and be a lazy parent by restraining them- durr!

chaya5738 · 12/01/2011 07:00

you have contradicted your story so many times. First he wasn't next to you but wandering around. Then he was next to you.

kittywise · 12/01/2011 07:23

I wonder if the OP is representative of witherspoon's classy clientele? Sounds like an inviting place indeed.
I must take all 6 of mine for a rampage round the pub next time I can't be arsed to go to soft play hell.

Catsmamma · 12/01/2011 07:43

lawks a lordy

So to summarise, you shout at an old lady because you don't have control of your wandering baby but that is a completely reasonable thing to do.

You won't put him back in the pushchair because it's mean....which begs the question why have one at all if they are such tools of toddler repression, not so bothered about the dc2 though

I guess the pfb is still your favourite then?? (miaow...but really!)

....and then the poor old lady in question has the temerity to walk past you again after speaking with her friend

I don't know how you are managing to cope under such difficult circumstances

Now tell us what the autoglass lady did...I am guessing she suggested you strap your pfb into a carseat?? Another well known tool of toddler restraint.

diddl · 12/01/2011 08:01

Sorry if already asked, but was baby alone in buggy all this time?

izzybiz · 12/01/2011 08:38

In our local Wetherspoons children are not allowed in the bar area.

You should have left him in the buggy, so he'd have arched his back? Big deal, better than having hot coffee spilt over him!

I am really strict about my children wandering around in restaurants/coffee shops etc, its a big no no.

My youngest is 2 and at times will scream his head off at being made to sit in a high chair, tough tits! He's a baby, Im an adult and he'll do as he's told.

YABU!

readinginsteadnow · 12/01/2011 09:04

diddl, the baby was alone 'but only 12 feet away' iirc.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 12/01/2011 09:32

Jesus, is this still going?!

"i dont fall out with people in real life, appart from the old lady, and the lady in Auto glass"

Oh, and about 100 Mumsnet members who are aghast at how she can't seem to realise that she was totally out of order.....

OnEdge, you are full of contradictions and what you say is just plain daft:

RE: buggies etc "They have straps to stop the children from getting out, but not for our convenience its bloomin wrong that."

Erm, so you say the straps are there to stop the children getting out? Um.....yes, exactly. To stop them getting out and running headlong (looking down at the ground as they are wont to do) into little old ladies carrying hot cups of coffee. Or into the path of a car if you are pushing the buggy down a busy road. Or in ANY situation where you should have them right by your side if you refuse to put them in the buggy for a couple of minutes FOR THEIR OWN SAFETY.

Duh....