To be resentful of DH leaving me alone with DC'S on Saturday afternoon

[redshinyshoes]

Can I just say that is not that I don't enjoy being with my DC'S (dd 5, ds 2, ds 1 month) but DS2 is 1 month old and colicky, DS has just hit terrible two's so I am finding parenting v hard work at the moment and find it hard to cope with all three DC'S on my own.
DH has joined a kickboxing class, he goes once a week for 2 hours and today has joined the saturday afternoon class too. Weeknight is fine by me but I have a problem with the Saturday afternoon class, AIBU?

WTF? People who do martial arts are not fit to be around kids???? Thats the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard on here.

If you are referring to Spidookly's post. Thats isn't what she said at all and so not ridiculous

What did she mean then?
"If your sense of self relies on doing a martial arts class on a Saturday afternoon you have psychological problems that mean you probably shouldn't be around children"

Hopefully I've got this right (apologies to spidookly I haven't)

But its just the idea he has to be doing it during that time when he could be in his home.

Exchange the word martial arts for any other hobby (chess, fishing, cheese making) and it wouldn't sound so harsh. Just think you are taking it that way because you could equate martial arts with being rough (I wouldn't though)

I meant that someone whose ego is so fragile that unless they can do martial arts on a Saturday afternoon it will damage their "sense of self" is likely to be only a cross word away from a murderous rampage.

You know what's good for the soul? What is good for making you proud of who you are and having a secure sense of your place in the world?

Living up to your responsibilities.

How can it help your sense of self to live your life as though you have no children, when in fact you are a parent?

Working parents of pre-school children should be spending weekend day times with their children. They see little enough of them.

And yes, I'm only talking about martial arts here because that is what is at issue. Really, it doesn't matter.

Martial arts at least has the advantage of not being cricket or golf, or some other all-day sport invented with the specific aim of giving rich idlers something to kill a lot of time when they were poncing about the world living off rents.

"Working parents of pre-school children should be spending weekend day times with their children. They see little enough of them."

Couldn't agree more.

spidookly, you're talking nonsense. Seriously.

Thats what happens when you bf though- you cant just take yourself off for a few hours, thats life, if its that much of an issue dont bf- or dont have more kids with selfish fathers!
I dont get this wave of martyr mummys about at the moment really I dont!

When you go back to work then surely you will take up such things to keep yourself fit and trim too. You know, get rid of that 'mummy fat'

Im sure when you put as much work in as your hubby things will even out.

gemsy what an intelligent post.

FFS now it's OPs fault for BFing her child??

she isn't asking to go away for a few hours. she is asking that her DH wait a few more months before booking up his saturdays when he can be available to take the older dcs out of the way or even look after all 3 in the house so she can sleep.

Spidookly isn't suggesting that the dh shouldn't be doing martial arts. She is only suggesting that he doesn't do it at the weekends. As the OP said, she is happy fo her DH to do martial arts on a weekday evening (when presumably she can at least get her older two children to bed) but just not at weekends during daytime. I think that's entirely reasonable.

awubble what on earth does your post mean?

What a twattish thing to say awubble. I really hope you are being sarcastic.

She may not have 'mummy fat' but anyway I really do think on the whole life is easier on men.

If my dh wants to take up a hobby it is a lot easier for him than me and I don't think it is unreasonable to want a little time on a weekend as a family

Spidookly is right

Weekends should be (mostly) about kids and he is being really selfish!

'Really, people are allowed a break at weekends, you just might have to pay for some help.'

And if you can't afford help, you have to suck it up.

I havent read all the replies (my FIL is critically ill and I'm just trying to distract myself for a bit but don't have the concentration to read them all so sorry if I repeat anything.

I think it would be ok if the OP was also able to get out/do something for herself while the DP/DH had the DC. My DH plays squash a couple of nights a week (after youngest is in bed) and also for 2 hours on a Saturday morning. I go to the gym a couple of evenings a week and also ride on a Saturday and Sunday afternoon (with DD1) so I have no problem with his squash.

I would be mighty pissed off though if it was all one sided.

LoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo - my DH is not the perfect man but he's exceptionally good when it comes to DD, to the house and in supporting my dreams. It's why I married him after, a series of disastrous relationships with childish men. I really can't complain, thankfully :-)