To be resentful of DH leaving me alone with DC'S on Saturday afternoon

[redshinyshoes]

Can I just say that is not that I don't enjoy being with my DC'S (dd 5, ds 2, ds 1 month) but DS2 is 1 month old and colicky, DS has just hit terrible two's so I am finding parenting v hard work at the moment and find it hard to cope with all three DC'S on my own.
DH has joined a kickboxing class, he goes once a week for 2 hours and today has joined the saturday afternoon class too. Weeknight is fine by me but I have a problem with the Saturday afternoon class, AIBU?

when ds2 was 11 days old my EXP (was current at the time) had to rejoin his ship in the falklands. if it hadn't been for the fact ds1 was at school for a few hours each morning, i honestly would have cracked up. the baby stuff i can do, but when you have an older one aswell it is so much harder.

I think yaNbu, but I am suprised everyone agrees with me, as on another similar thread where the DH was playing cricket they all thought the OP was being very unreasonable!

Maybe its your dh's choice of sport everyone disagrees with

pretty is right. It's not just the utter selfishness of what he's done, it's also what it says about how little respect he has for his wife.

Her job is to look after his kids for him and his is to do whatever the fuck he pleases with no thought at all for his family.

Who raised these overgrown teenagers wuth their unending sense of entitlement and no sense of responsibility.

The kind of man who thinks the important thing to be doing when you have a newborn is kickboxing is basically stealing air from the rest of us.

Lenin - if you can afford it, do it! A mothers help can do childcare, or housework.

I was struggling with toddler and baby during the week, and what saved me was for DS2 to go to a childminder, just one afternoon a week, while the other one was at playgroup. I felt terribly guilty about it, because there seemed no justification (I was a SAHM), but it really helped me, and DS2 loved it .

i remember that thread theevildead. i was really shocked at some of the posts on it.

JamieLeeCurtis Yes, that is exactly it - being able to have a crap! I really did not understood how hard looking after kids was before I had to do it myself.

OP, Fair enough for your DH to have a few hours to himself (as long as you do too) but sounds like this is too much right now. Tell him as calmly as you can. And let him look after them all for a few hours - even if you can't go out because of bfing, have a long bath or lie in bed and read (possibly with earplugs). DH can bring the baby to you and away again as soon as fed. You need to recharge yourself.

Compared to either of those, looking after a 5yo and a 3yo doesn't sound so bad, does it?

I have been a SAHM - I loved it but it was hardly as hard as being at work 10 hours a day.

Hardly as hard? I found working 50+ hours weeks as a legal secretary a piece of piss compared to staying home with young kids.

And if your youngest is 7, yep, you've forgotten.

Lenin- I was really lucky to find a childminder who was so great - she was like a second mum to me . I just asked around

My youngest is 7 and it's indelibly etched on my brain

he should get out and do the class but then you should be doing something for yourself too.

yanbu

He should be supporting you and his family at the weekend, not pissing about kickboxing.

'I have never pulled that 'I work' crap, absolute doddle compared to parenting all day.'

Nor me. And DH was a SAHD for 4 years.

That's life! Someone has to work.

If I wanted 'me' time at the weekends and 'breaks' and all that, I wouldn't have had kids.

Life's rough when you have young children.

skyblue with a 1 month old breastfed baby, OP can't just take herself off somehwere.

and you know what, with a 1 month old, no-one should be expecting her to, her DH should have the sense to see that his time is better spent at home for the next few months at least.

YABU. My hubby works nights and weekends and I work through the week. I am therefore mostly responsible for childcare and spend most weekends alone with dd. So what?

This is one we struggle with. DH is rarely ever home before 10 -11pm during the week after leaving the house at 8am, and he often plays golf on either a Sat or a Sund (which takes about 6 hours), so I don't see him much at all. He is great when he is here though.

what has your own arrangement got to do with the OP's situation santos? just because you got it tough doesn't mean she should just put up with her lot.

and she gave birth 4 weeks ago, that makes things slightly different.