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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU/WWYD Facebook for kids

123 replies

Niceguy2 · 07/01/2011 16:55

OK, some time ago my son's (DS9) primary school sent out a sternly worded letter about kids having Facebook accounts and how they'd be going around checking and reporting whichever child they found with one.

I dismissed it at the time because a) my son didnt have one. & b) I hate the whole ban them philosophy anyway since I believe it often just makes things harder.

Anyway. Wind on 6 months and last night I discover that my son bless him has created his own facebook account and has been very enterprising. Some detective work and a bit of hacking by me and lo & behold him and some school friends have set themselves up. Most of them (not all) have changed their names. So my son name are a random letters. Some friends are like "Wayne Roony"

Everything looks fairly innocent and the snippets of conversations I've tracked down are all just kids chattering.

I haven't confronted him yet as I want to gather up as much info as possible. I could report the whole lot of them to the school. On the other hand, the fact he has a FB account actually doesn't bother me too much as long as I know the fact he has one, am a friend and I know the password.

To me, the secrecy is the issue. Had anything untoward have cracked off, he can't come to me for help since I wasn't supposed to know in the first place.

AIBU to ban him or AIBU not to but prefer to have it out in the open rather than in secret?

OP posts:

penguin73 · 07/01/2011 18:36

I agree - and having known some of the parents involved for a long time I firmly believe at least 2 of the sets of parents, have no reason to do otherwise.

penguin73 · 07/01/2011 18:37

Both under and over 13 and both boys and girls.

JingleTits · 07/01/2011 18:37

You are right about giving all sides to the story Penguin73, was just saying that not everyone chooses to listen to the age13 rule and goes by there own judgment. Im assuming your a teacher or work in a school and im sure you hear all the negative stories but im prety sure students dont come up to you alot to say how good fb is etc etc.

After reading what you have just writen i will make sure i continue to monitor my childrens activities properly as usual.

JingleTits · 07/01/2011 18:40

I can check on my kids fb in 15 mins, and thats a thorough look.

penguin73 · 07/01/2011 18:41

Actually they do - and lot give me grief for not accepting their friend requests on it. We discuss FB a lot and I would be the first to endorse it as a way of keeping in touch with friends and family around the world.

LadyOfTheManor · 07/01/2011 18:47

I haven't read all the posts...but I believe the age restriction is 13. So the school are in their right to report anyone younger that are using it.

Age restrictions are put in place for a reason...in a more extreme case, would you allow your 14 year old to drink secretly and/or in/out of the home?

JingleTits · 07/01/2011 18:47

My children have already been told to not even consider requesting a teacher!! I bet you get some parents try to friend request dont you..............

A friend of mine is a nurse and im shocked that some of her patients friend request her very odd

JingleTits · 07/01/2011 18:49

OP will you let us know what the outcome is with your son when you no please

JingleTits · 07/01/2011 18:51

know even

LittleYellowTeapot · 07/01/2011 18:55

Yes, I do allow my 14 yr old to drink at home.

She does not have free access to the wine rack, but I will allow her a very small glass of wine with a meal on occassion. I did this with my eldest too - and she's now an adult who can enjoy a drink responsibly. But that is a whole different thread IMO.

JingleTits · 07/01/2011 19:02

Im sure i will be the same littleyellowteapot like i said earlier my parents were so strict i went overboard with drinking etc behind there back. From what ive seen of other parents like you the children generally learn how to do thing responsible.

charliesmommy · 07/01/2011 19:06

"LadyOfTheManor Fri 07-Jan-11 18:47:38
I haven't read all the posts...but I believe the age restriction is 13. So the school are in their right to report anyone younger that are using it"

I would rather the school take more notice of the kids spelling on facebook.. as from all of the ones I see, literacy is a very poor subject and most teens are unable to construct a sentence. Maybe that is the reason they dont want their pupils being on FB...

atmywitssend · 07/01/2011 19:10

A friend of mine has allowed her DS (10) to have a Facebook page but only she and her DH know the password so he can only use it on a supervised basis. This well for them -he appears "cool" to his school mates but they know he is using it safely.

MissyPie · 07/01/2011 19:14

atmywitsend - that's a great idea, I think that's the best way forward.

And charliesmommy - i totally agree with your comment about literacy - perhaps schools should concentrate more on that

LadyOfTheManor · 07/01/2011 19:15

I remember the days when I was ten and out and about building dens and tree houses and the internet was only for people who had computers (not overly that many if I recall).

JingleTits · 07/01/2011 19:17

Times have changed Lady alot .............

MissyPie · 07/01/2011 19:19

there are as many dangers outside now than what there are inside I'm afraid. Times have changed Lady (of course you know this) It's about moving with the times and adjusting our views to suit the lives of our children.

Then again, wouldn't it just be marvellous if our kids were happy to play hide n seek or kerby or building treeswings - marvellous but rather unlikely wouldn't you say?

soccerwidow · 07/01/2011 19:21

Not sure where I stand really - if properly surpervised then yes fine but kids do get themselves into situations through their innocence & niavety.

I just wanted to add that I was able to download & print my SIL's Facebook photos from snapfish. It seems as long as you are a "friend" you can do this!!

they were photos of my DC & their cousins, I had my sil permission and it was easier than waiting for her to email them to me or for me to take a memory stick round to hers.

I happened to be on snapfish and saw the linky and tried it out.

It is things like that which scare me!

JingleTits · 07/01/2011 19:21

ditto missypie

LadyOfTheManor · 07/01/2011 19:23

I wish we all live in an Enid Blyton novel. Wouldn't be unrealistic or unsafe then.

(Thinks back to Mr.Pink Whistle luring children in over his garden gate...) ..then again

JingleTits · 07/01/2011 19:27

Point proven exactly Lady, there are dangers in life everywhere. Less chance of harm happening while being monitored and advised

MissyPie · 07/01/2011 19:31

there are monsters everywhere, sometimes even in a childs own home fgs...If people were to stop concentrating on banning things and start concentrating on recognising when a child is unhappy then I reckon we've made a start

MissyPie · 07/01/2011 19:32

and ditto JungleTits

MissyPie · 07/01/2011 19:32

Oh crap, I so did not mean that typo...JingleTits

JingleTits · 07/01/2011 19:36

Hahahaha! No worries, its funny, may even change my name to that

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