To think that families would employ a male nanny?

[midori1999]

DS1 wants to work with children in some way or other. One of the thing she has considered is working in a nursery and I suggested he look into nannying too maybe. (he is nearly 15, so it's a while until he has to decide properly yet)

DH was in the room and immediately said he thought most people might think a male nanny was a bit weird and not want to employ . I disagree.

Who is BU?

Altheia more muddled thinking IMHO!
Whether we have biological differences between the sexes - and we obviously do - they DO NOT result in one sex being able to take better care of children or even to be predisposed to it.
Your 'opinions' would be perfectly honourable/respectable if it were not for the fact that

1. by extrapolating your own experience (your DH not experienced or confident with babies) and generalising about it (less faith in men generally thus not employing male nanny for newborn)
2. trying to support your personal opinion with extremely questionable 'research'

and 3. perpetuating myths about gender roles that women have fought against for centuries because they are prejudiced and unfair for everyone in society, women and men, but mostly women who are usually more disadvantaged by them.

Pickgo - if you read all my posts, you wouldn't be extrapolating what you want out of them to fit your argument. I do not disagree with OP's viewpoint - has that been forgotten?!

1. For me, my opinion, I would not have a male nurse look after a young baby - even before DH had an accident with ours.

1. Nannynick made a good point about mothers and babies - similar to what I think and a lot of the reason why I think as in point 1.

1. I believe there are gender differences but that does not make me sexist. I have already said no sex is superior over the other, we are just different and anyway, I like the different things that men and women have to offer and we compliment each other. Just because I believe in that doesn't mean to say that I think males and females are restricted in their abilities because of it -we are all different and nurturing has a hand in this too.

1. I have never said that males do not make good nannies. I have also said I wished there was a male nursery worker at our nursery where my daughter has had problems with boys (normal stuff).

1. I have directly answered OP's question that I do not think it weird for people to employ male nannies, for whatever reason. If I had a DS that wanted to work with children, I would not even think about stopping him or labelling him. Same for my DDs if they want to do a traditional male job.

So you can't be attacking me over my answer to OP's question - you're just attacking me because for a young baby, I wouldn't have a male nanny myself and you don't like my reasons as to why I wouldn't have one. Well get over it - it's no big deal.

Finally, I don't believe you should judge people over their opinions and how they get them or stereotype me because you think I have a "reasonable education" as you put it, that I should have these opinions, viewpoints or whatever you wish to call them, in the first place. What a new can of worms that sort of thinking can open.

When I was 19 I went for a job interview at a nursery school and the person they employed was male (over me? I couldn't believe it) .

I think that there is a demand for it. Its a very rewarding job whatever gender you are.

Sorry OP meant to say YANBU - you hubby is.

I am not spouting anything - simply stating an opinion. I haven't posted here to say - this is my opinion, can anyone help me please change it? So I don't need to read anything. I am happy with my opinion. The fact that some people want to labour the point are obviously so doctrinated in their own opinion, they can't accept others for what it is and just agree to disagree. Not once have I said to a poster "you are spouting claptrap" or similar. I respect everyone's opinion on here. Not once have I named called or labelled or rubbished people's opinions; I will have said something like I disagree for whatever reason it may be.

I hate to keep stating the obvious, but there will be eminent neuropsychologists, eminent scientists, eminent professors, eminent brian surgeons - all sorts of people that profess to have expertise in their area - that will disagree with each other. For every book you find where there is no evidence, there will be another saying there is evidence.

Those of you who are terrified your husbands might not be able to look after your children properly, or whose husbands are in turn terrified of their own children (quote) should have thought a lot harder before you got married and had children then. What on earth were you doing having a child with someone who you thought couldn't cope well enough?! I hope the worst doesn't ever happen to you and your husbands have to look after their own children by themselves after you've gone - you'd be spinning in your graves no doubt.

I've rarely read such a lot of tripe on here. I despair of these attitudes, and I worry about the education and intellectual abilities of some people, I really do.

If a mother can pick up the clues better than her dh surely this has to do with the time she spents withthe baby rather than genetics? It is more common for the mother to be with the newborn and father to work, nothing to do with brain wiring.

Nannynick interesting your experience with the agency. I've just asked dh your question and he read the thread. He said that he wouldn't have concerns about the care a male nanny would give to the dcs but a tiny little concern about the male nanny being excluded by mums and female nannies when it comes to park picnics, playdates etc.

being excluded by mums and female nannies when it comes to park picnics, playdates etc.

That I feel is a problem. Mind you I'm not a very outgoing person, am quite shy when around new people.

I've tried meeting up with other nannies but it doesn't work well, as I say - lets go for walk in Windsor Great Park and they then wear inappropriate footware, bring scooters for the children, seem taken aback when the walk route is 2 to 4 miles, plus they turn up late (if at all) as they fail to read a map.

I had a manny for a year when DD was 3 and DS was 1! He was absolutely brilliant

If a mother can pick up the clues better than her dh surely this has to do with the time she spents withthe baby rather than genetics?

Yes, it must be a factor. However, isn't it the case that when a baby is born it is designed not to be rejected by it's mother. Hormones and all sorts of other things kick in which start the bonding process between mother and child.

The lack of differences in theory is fine but the fact is most people are raised in cultures where gender differences are likely to be embedded in the brain. It puts me in mind of that completely gender neutral child with Swedish parents.

So given these differences are likely to exist they probably should be considered. I think men and women communicate differently, play differently and interact with the world around them differently. Sometimes those differences can be a positive and a reason to opt for one sex over another but if we overgeneralise then we verge towards stereotyping. It's probably all social conditioning but accepting the fact that socially conditioned differences exist isn't unreasonable. Discrimination on the basis of them and the associated stereotypes is but discrimination in something like nannying is hard to prove.

I asked DH, didn't let him read the thread, and he said he has no opposition in theory but he would worry about being replaced (more I think to do with the fact he spends long times away) but that I probably worry about being replaced by a female carer, and he worries ("irrationally") I'd run off with them while he was away.

So if he was in charge of childcare recruitment I think female candidates would be preferred, possibly to the point of discounting male applicants.

we had a male au pair for a couple of years - a Turkish guy. DS adored him - they did loads of roughhouse stuff and built "contraptions". i came home to a tidy house and a drop dead gorgeous male cooking dinner - whats not to like?