To think that families would employ a male nanny?

[midori1999]

DS1 wants to work with children in some way or other. One of the thing she has considered is working in a nursery and I suggested he look into nannying too maybe. (he is nearly 15, so it's a while until he has to decide properly yet)

DH was in the room and immediately said he thought most people might think a male nanny was a bit weird and not want to employ . I disagree.

Who is BU?

I remember reading this and thinking a male nanny sounds great! Keeley Hawes has one [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1316378/Keeley-Hawes-hires-male-nanny-looks-like-husband-Matthew-Macfadyen.html link here]]. Show this to your DH.

Oh and here - the first manny agency in London. :)

First link SHOULD have read link here

I echo what many others have said: at DS's school the lone male who assists with before and afterschool care is tremendously popular - all the children love him and demand his attention over that of the women there! I wish there were more men in preschool and primary school work and that there wasn't such narrow-minded prejudice against them.

Altheia, can you link to the research that supports what you say, please? It would be interesting to see it.

I do trust my DH with my babies because he would never intentionally set out to do anything that would harm them. He loves them to pieces and is very practical. I would not be comfortable with say, him being the house husband and me returning to work at six weeks after birth for example and my husband would certainly not feel comfortable about doing it. I remember when my first one started rolling around a lot and I told him to keep an eye out when on the changing table and to never leave the baby alone. He did the opposite without thinking, just to get something and she rolled off and fell onto the floor with a thud. The same thing happened with the second too!

Not sure which part you are referring to SleepingLion. There is plenty of information on the internet about the differences in male and female brains. I was just having a conversation with my friend - who is male. He said women have better peripheral vision than men, who see more straight ahead and something to do with ancestory and hunting. Never heard of that before.

I am sure lots of men would make good nannies. It's just not for me, as I said and I am not here to be convinced otherwise. I answered OP's question already - it's not unreasonable/she's not being unreasonable. I do not buy into the sexual abuse thing either - plenty of women sexually abuse too.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-12134175

A 20 year old male nursery worker charged with sexual abuse. Wouldn't put me off putting my three year old in a nusery with male staff. It's also good to see a lot of people here who thinks it's a very good idea to have male nursery workers. Like I said - women do it too. Unfortunately, there are some horrible things that go on in life.

I'll whistle nannynick up... he'll be working of course!

I will be totally honest and say that I wouldn't get a male nanny for a newborn baby. Preschoolers yes, baby no.

My children have had male teachers at primary school and I have been also very happy with them. I just don't like the idea of a baby left in the sole charge of a man, for lots of reasons.

However, I think that if a man wants to go into childcare that's fine, as mine is only a personal preference.

I respect your position, Emy, of course. But, why do think a man could not take care of a baby? Or do you not like the idea of a baby left in the sole charge of a man?

My DS was at times left in the sole charge of DH when he was smaller (he's 2 now, and still is sometimes). He was good at it...

I don't know, it's a bit irrational.

I think it's because of the personal experience of my DH and other men in my family. They never seem to "bond" with babies at all, but are fantastic with young children.

In fact thinking about it, this has influenced my views a lot. Maybe wrongly so?

If I had first hand experience of a man and a baby I probably would change my mind. It's so rare to see though!!!!

My DD used to go to nursery school where the assistant manager was man. TBH it was one of the things that swung us to send her there as DH worked shifts and had always had an active role in caring for her, so we wanted her to see that men can be involved in child care at nursery too.

My BIL is a full time childminder. He has an outstanding Ofsted rating and a lengthy waiting list. He also makes alot of money (based in SW London).

If your son wants to work with children he should go for it.

You mentioned your son is very good with another child of yours who has down syndrome (I hope I got that right, sorry if I didn't, can't remember details and am on my phone so not easy to scroll back). I just wanted to add another option. My brother is a teacher for disabled children and his strength is a huge assets as some of the children need to be restrained from running into the road etc and some of the female teachers have been injured doing this. He says they desperately need more men in this field but few boys really think about it. He has always been a protective type of guy who loved to help people and really loves his job. It might be something for your son to consider , especially if he's interested in teaching but not particularly academic like my brother.

Laquitar - I only specified 'gay male friends' because I think that they would provide a further perspective and experience for the child. Although this may come across as 'one of those comments', gay men are in the minority, connoting that children are less likely to come into contact with "them".

Also, for some bizarre reason that I can't really explain, I would prefer a gay man over a heterosexual man because I wouldn't want a substitute for the DH. Maybe I'm just overly conservative/traditional/repressed/nuts, but the DH, for me, should be my child's paramount male influence. Selfishly, I would feel a little odd and put-out handing my kid over to another woman to cuddle and things (I know, I know). Primarily, it is because the child would be exposed to more things in life.

Without resorting to wild generalisations, I get on extremely well with gay men, I don't get the point in formal godparents, so, pardon the unintended un-PC pun, but I would see my gay male friends as the child's fairy godmother figure.

I would definitely use one. The nursery my son goes to does not have any full time male staff but has at least two male visiting staff who some in to do music and drama type stuff which DS adores.

I also looked at a childminder who had a son who was going to register as a childminder as well - that would have been a big plus for me.

I wrote an article on mannies a few years ago and so I got to interview a few. Numbers are increasing but they are still low. I certainly wouldn't have had a problem with it. I also interviewed women who employed them - particularly one single mum who liked the fact that she had a male presence in her son's life.

It works..best person for the job should be the primary instinct...

Some people think male nannies are weird.
Some people are idiots.
Those 2 things might be related.

Fair enough, emy :)

We are driven by our experiences and trust what we trust, individually. It is our choice as parents as to who we want looking after our babies/preschoolers and no one else's. You can choose the carer or nursery or whatever on whatever reason you want.

I would have no problem with a male nanny/cm/nursery nurse/teacher/anything. But that's my choice.

After many years of female dominated childcare/education, my 9yo son has a male teacher. I think it's great and I wish there was more gender balance in childcare and primary education.

Altheia you still miss my point. Your dh didn't have training. He didn't choose childcare as career. OP's son did. He has choosen to spend 3 years (?) studing baby/child care and development, hours of unpaid work in a setting etc. He likes it, he feels he's good at it.

Some people are good with babies and enjoy spending 10 hours with them some not. In the same way that a woman who enjoys driving and keeps calm in traffic can make a good driver.

Spenquin thank you for explaining. I thought you meant that only guy males would be good with children (i've heard this in RL). My apologies.

can make a good bus driver

Not wanting to go too much off topic here but I believe there is a difference between male and female make up.

www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=28827&w=5&cn=299

www.arlenetaylor.org/brain-references-menu/1443-male-female-differences-p-r

www.crosswalk.com/marriage/11568752/

Laquitar - sorry, just had to check your previous post to answer your question but I do not agree with your point. Gosh, I'd love to have been a concert pianist, have studied music, play the piano, taken exams, love doing it - but I am never going to make the grade as a concert pianist. I had a friend studying law with me - really wanted to be a solicitor, had the requisite qualifications to be able to enrol on the degree, took the first year and failed. Re-sat the first year in high spirits and failed. Third time, not to be beaten, did it again and failed. He was asked to leave the course. It was very sad - he was so enthusiastic, paid lots of money, had real belief and determination - I really wished he had passed. So liking a job and choosing it doesn't mean to say you will be good at it in my opinion and experience.

StewieGriffin'sMom, not sure that your language shows me a convincing argument from you. Also, having a penis is not the only factor that determines the make up of a man - that is just one physical factor. Men tend to be more hairy, for example, stronger, taller, broader as well as having a different brain make up.

Now of course, I'm not just stuck at what nature had in store for us and that's it. I am convinced that there is also a good nature/nurture argument too and that that can have some influence. So it's fair to say that I also have a background that has shaped my views somewhat but I am not doctrinated by that.

This is not meant to turn into a sexist argument either - I, for one, am glad men and women are different and that is what it is - different - no sex is superior to the other, just different and we compliment each other nicely.

Imagine you had a daughter, and she announced she wanted to be (eg) a chemical engineer / theoretical physicist / other "male" career. Assuming she had the aptitude, the qualifications, etc would you accept someone suggesting that an employer would not take her on as it's a "wierd" thing for a girl to want to do?

I do agree that men and different. Average Man is (eg) physically stronger than Average Woman; but it does not follow that ALL men are physically stronger than ALL women.

This is what I don't understand from the OP post - when her DH says weird, I assumed (and I may be wrong) that he thought DS would be frowned upon to want to have an interest in children - which means it couldn't be compared to Bumperella's example. If weird as in straight forward weird because it's "seen as a woman's role", then it can be compared to Bumperella's example.

In either situation, I don't think it is weird what DS wants to do, just like I don't think it is weird that a DD might want a male dominated career. When I started my career, it was more male dominated and I got stick for it too

I don't think most folk posting have suggested that they believe that the majority of men who like being around children only enjoy it for a sexual reason. That being the case, I was thinking that the those who expressed doubts would see it as odd, peculiar, unnatural etc, but not believe that they would have sexual feelings for children.
Hence to be consistent could be said to be weird (unnatural, abnormal, but not in a sexual way) for a girl to want to go into a "male" profession in just the same way.