To think that families would employ a male nanny?

[midori1999]

DS1 wants to work with children in some way or other. One of the thing she has considered is working in a nursery and I suggested he look into nannying too maybe. (he is nearly 15, so it's a while until he has to decide properly yet)

DH was in the room and immediately said he thought most people might think a male nanny was a bit weird and not want to employ . I disagree.

Who is BU?

Actually I think the OPs son is still pre-GCSEs and deciding on a career path but would like to work with children.

I see no reason at all why a man who has chosen to work with even tiny children should be worse at it than a woman. It wouldn't be for all men; but it wouldn't be for all men either. bumperella has a good point.

We found that ds's female nanny was, by the time he was 7 or so becoming over-attached to the point of unprofessionalism and a manny would have been just great.

The OP's son sounds lovely: there are loads of suitable roles in childcare and teaching (primary schools are crying out for men). One advantage which he may not yet have considered is that he will meet lots of lovely girls who don't get to meet many men in the course of their work.......

Yes I second NannyNicks opinion as the only male childcarer I know.

op your dh is wrong - some people may think that a male nanny (manny to some) is a weird career choice but i feel there are not enough males in our chosen profession (im a nanny)

as others have said,there are male teachers and we have a fab men in our nursery - kids adored him

the only thing i will say is that there will be many narrow minded people about who will not tolerate a male nanny and wont even get an interview, thus making it hard to find a job

i know a fab male cm, two infact, one is part of a couple and always in demand and other started his business a while back but is finding it hard to get familys (tho i think this is more due to the fact he cant drive)

where is nannynick?

i shall send him a message to pop onto this thread :)

Pontissima - I think Bumperella's point from her post was whether an employer would think it weird that a female would like to do a male dominated job - not necessarily implying that that means whether she would be good at it or not.

What a good point about meeting lots of girls who don't get to meet many men in their course of work! Never thought of that when I work with male and female alike

LOL at "baby left in sole charge of a man" You made my day

I see no reason why not. DP had aupairs growing up and his parents always opted for males. They had three boys so it made sense.

plus some dads look after their own children so shouldnt a man be a nanny

one for all and all for one

Don't forget in other cultures-with big extended families- boys are used to be around babies and change a nappy.
I remember when a friend of mine had her baby and people tried to show her dh how to hold the baby and change his nappy. He laughed as he has done it million times. They were both Asian origin. Nothing to do with 'different brains'.

Laquitar - having different brains doesn't mean to say one brain can change a nappy and the other can't! Even my DH can change nappies. Matter of fact, he's brilliant at it - we use re-usables so a bit more phaffing about and he was unsure first of all but he doesn't mind them at all now. He knows how to sluice them, wash them, dry them, fold them, use them, insert the liners and pads and boosters, check for leaks - the full monty! He just forgets to keep an eye on them when they're on the changing table

Sorry - the baby I meant, not the nappy

Just because your husband bounces your babies, it doesn't mean that other men will.

I'm saying that many of so called 'differences in men and women's brain' have actually to do with the upbringing and enviromental/cultural factors.

No TiggyD, I quite agree. Hope I haven't implied that either. Just used it as an example in support of my opinion - my DH is a very good Dad in lots of other ways. He wanted the children - I didn't (horrible background reasons) and as much as I was scared about having them, I did it because I didn't think he should miss out on being a father and I knew he would be good at it. Also, it's no different to saying just because NannyNick is a good Nanny, means every other man will be a good Nanny too. We can say that in lots of areas of lives - not just parenting.

Laquitar - I've posted some threads on where men's brains differ from women's and no doubt some scientists agree and others may disagree. Seems a large consensus that they are different - because it is known what parts of the brain controls what areas, how the brain works, the different sizes in those areas, etc etc. I have also pointed out in one of my previous posts that I also think there is a strong nature/nurture argument too. I had heard of a study where both sexes were treated exactly the same in their childhood years - had dolls and trains each, both climbed trees, both cooked, etc etc, yet still they showed characteristics of their respective sexes when they were older. However, each child is different so I still think the way we bring up our children can have a difference to some degree. They learn off us after all.

It's all very interesting stuff though isn't it? Not helpful to the OP I shouldn't think, although I like to think that she has found lots of positive and helpful advice on here in terms of relevance to her actual question.

Some people are not intune enough to be able to care well for babies - be they men or women. A child's mother usually has a much closer bond, so picks up on the little clues that the baby gives far better than anyone else. However with experience, other people can pickup on those same clues. Some fathers are great with tiny babies, others have no clue what to do.

midori1999 - I did not leave school and become a nanny. I did other things first.

Many nannies who post on Mumsnet have a degree... I'm the dunce as I have an HND (that's lower than a degree).
I would suggest that your DS looks into teaching, see what subjects and grades he needs at GCSE & A-Level to get onto a degree course with PGCE. If he aims for that level, he can train as a teacher and if after a few years he decides that he doesn't like teaching, he can then become a nanny (some additional training may be needed as what regulator requires registered nannies to have seems to vary from time to time... no way of knowing what it will be in say 10 years time).

If he doesn't get the grades necessary to do the degree, then you can look at what other options are available... such as NVQ Level 3 or whatever the equivalent colleges provide at that time.

Your son should keep options open as much as possible, aim high and fall back if necessary. Far better in my view to aim now at being a teacher, than aiming now to be say a nursery assistant.

Nannynick - I'm almost swooning over your arrival after all the praise you're getting on here

Good luck to you DS. How lovely to read of a young boy having such a clear idea if what he wants to do. Hope he doesn't get put off by some of the ridiculous opinions about male carers which are obviously still held by some.

Altheia You do know that the internet is just about the most unreliable form of evidence to quote? There are no checks, no peer review and loads of absolute twaddle posted on the internet.
There is NO scientific research that has definitively proved gender differences are inherent because you simply cannot separate the effect of culture - the nature/nurture debate.
The study where both sexes were treated exactly the same in their childhood years is incredible even in your description of it! How can both children be treated exactly the same? Did they live in a vacuum box? Were they not exposed to family, school, brownies, cubs, shopping, fashion, TV etc etc etc. All these things teach children their 'gender roles'.
Just had to question your thinking on this - it really surprised me to hear of someone reasonably well educated spouting such sexist nonsense and trying to justify it with more nonsense.

Something that may be of interest is that when I was last looking for work, the agency I was dealing with made comments about how they were not finding opposition from mothers. When they talked about me to mothers looking for a nanny, they got positive response. However those mothers then consulted their husbands and many then pulled out before arranging an interview.

So for those of you who have said YES you would consider a male nanny... if you have a male partner, what do they think about it? Would they want a male nanny?

"Good luck to you DS. How lovely to read of a young boy having such a clear idea if what he wants to do. Hope he doesn't get put off by some of the ridiculous opinions about male carers which are obviously still held by some."

Thankyou very much. (and everyone else who has kindly said similar). He has a fairly clear ideas, definitely something with children, maybe SN children. His other idea was a stunt man, so obviously I'd prefer him to go in the direction of working with children.

Nannynick, (and others who have given info on which route to take) thankyou. I have been looking around the internet a bit too and as he isn't entirely sure yet what it is with children he wants to do I think that he would be best to go down the route that will give him the most options, which seems to be to go downt he teaching route at first. He has expressed interest in helping in a special needs school for his work experience, so if we can arrange that for him we will.

Obviously there's plenty of time for him to change his mind, he's only young, but I think doing something with children would suit him well and be something he enjoyed and as someone who spent most of my own career hating it, I would love for him to do something he really enjoys and that means a lot to him.

My DDs have a male nursery worker and DD1 never shuts up about him :) (DD2 can't talk)

Some other options for working with children that he may want to consider;

Therapist - educational therapist, speech therapist, counsellor, occupational therapist - there are a lot of different types of therapists that work with children

Paediatric nurse

Social worker

Pickgo - slightly unfair comments there. I could find lots of research papers using a paper trail in a library if I wanted to - people knowledgable in their area and there will be those that disagree with their findings and those that agree. Just like anything really because you are then questionning whether one "expert" with knowledge in that field is better than another. Whatever source of information - internet, books, research papers, statistics - we can all agree or disagree, believe or disbelieve - we form an opinion of it.

A lot of scientists believe there are differences right from when in the womb and that there results in fundamental differences when born. Surely, the nature/nuture argument can only happen after someone is born and it is their upbringing that can then influence these things.

I quite agree about the case study on these people being brought up the same - my original post on it does not make it wholly clear and I was saying that I think how you bring up a child does change things, so I am not sure about that study anyway. It seemed an odd one to me and I thought it must be a one off for whatever reason. I believe in the nature/nurture argument.

Finally, I am emphasising here that I have an opinion and no-one has to agree with me. I don't say my opinion is right - I say it's just an opinion from me. I don't say everyone else who disagrees with me is wrong - I respect their opinion, however they came by to have it.

Nannynick - "Some people are not intune enough to be able to care well for babies - be they men or women. A child's mother usually has a much closer bond, so picks up on the little clues that the baby gives far better than anyone else. However with experience, other people can pickup on those same clues. Some fathers are great with tiny babies, others have no clue what to do."

Thank you for that contribution and very well put. I am more talking about this side of it rather than the practical hands on side of it. My DH was terrified everytime our little one cried but I reassured him and eventually, he was able to distinguish the differences. Some people pick it up quicker than others.

I have nothing against male nannies whatsoever - nobody should be stopped from doing what they want to do for a living. Just because they are not for me, doesn't mean that they should not be around! The other interesting point about how DHs would feel about it - I asked mine and he would rather a female nanny. I guess there will be many like him and many who prefer male nannies and many who don't mind either way.

nbee84 - that just reminded me - I had a male social worker when I was a child. I specifically requested one! Never got on with my mother and found males easier to talk to. He was a very good social worker too.

And that's such a good list of all sorts of things the OPs son could look at. Plenty of opportunities for him.