to ask people playing music from their phones without headphones in public spaces to turn them off?

[Stangirl]

This happened to me this week sat waiting in a hospital for my 12 week scan. The person next to me was playing music off their phone so everyone could hear it. I thought it was extremely rude but didn't say anything as I was anxious about my upcoming scan and thought the conversation might take a turn for the worse. I've had this several times recently - particularly on buses. Am I BU to ask them to turn it off, or put headphones on?

YANBU to ask. However, people who do this when there is an option of wearing headphones have little regard for people around them anyway, so I would not expect your request to be granted!

YANBU - I can't stand it when people do that. I agree that if you ask they probably won't turn it off as they are selfish to think it's okay.

I find it incredibly rude actually.

xfirsttimemummyx, what about someone who hates travelling with music, what gives you the right to not allow them to do that?

i dont like slurrping and inane conversations in public but hey all part of inhabiting communal public space.much like music headphones

why didnt you move

and no one has to accommodate your low level personal nuances

YANBU and I have asked people to turn it off (or down) and they have done. Not everyone would, obviously. It's really inconsiderate, because not everyone wants to hear your favoured taste in music (especially not in a tense place like a hospital FGS), whether that be Wagner, U2 or Kanye.

Because it's irritating to other people. Obviously.

this is little bitty princess tippy toes. communal space you compromise and accept not all exactly as you'd wish

Oh my god you are so NBU. This is my personal bugbear. When headphones exist, why do you need to irritate everyone else with N-Dubz playing at full throttle through your shitty mobile speakers? Is it to show all of the OAPS/mums on the bus what a motherfucking BAD BOY you are?

One of these days, I am going to download a bit of Mozart onto my phone and have a music-off with the plastic gangsters that traverse on my bus. That'll teach 'em.

I am astonished that someone is defending this!

I have assumed that people who play music without headphones in public places, particularly on public transport are doing so because they want to intimidate others or start a fight, by dominating everyone else's space.

I would never ask someone to turn the music off because I assume such people are likely to be violent and dangerous, and are trying to provoke an argument by making a point with their music.

I believed it was done by people who were so ignored by society that they will be anti-social because they will do literally anything to get the attention they angrily feel they deserve.

I will rethink now.

"It's public transport, end of."

Just because it is public transport, doesn't give morons carte blanche to behave inconsiderately. Rather, when prefaced with public, it tends to mean communal. Communal tends to consider others. Assaulting other people's ears with your music which my not be to everyone's tastes doesn't qualify as considerate.

FWIW, the conditins of carriage on our buses stipulate that earphones must be worn when listening to music.

I agree, Scottishmummy, communal space is about compromise and part of that compromise is not doing things that might wind other people up!

It's not unreasonable to ask. It would be unreasonable to dial 999. I think people are actually more amenable than we'd think. Sometimes people don't set out to annoy but they are just thoughtless. So it's not "princess tippy toes" (whoever she is) to say "sorry, do you mind turning that down a bit/off?"

firsttime - presumably you don't encourage children to be noisy by giving them trumpets, cymbals and a ghetto blaster to take on the bus with them? In fact, most parents seem to want their children to stay quiet on buses. Noisy children (to an extent) can't be helped. Turning on music on your phone is something you do on purpose.

"I have assumed that people who play music without headphones in public places, particularly on public transport are doing so because they want to intimidate others or start a fight, by dominating everyone else's space."

Well, two lads did this on my bus home from work. They'd irritated the shit out of everyone by playing that annoying Katy perry whistling song over and over. Much tutting and rollin=g of eyes. Then this old giffer gets on, about 70,seemed like an ex-army major. He had a right pop at them. "YOU'RE JUST LITTLE ARSEHOLES, AREN'T YOU, CHAPS?" they shit their pants and got off the bus with red faces,with the major booming at them about being little arseholes with no brains. I felt like giving him a standing applause.

scottishmummy you mentioned music headphones - this thread is about music without headphones.

Agree that music leaking from headphones is annoying but part of being in public. Music from phone speakers is extremely rude and arrogant.

firsttimemummy, there is no option to switch children on or off. So your argument is daft. That said of course I bring my children up to behave appropriately.

OP, you are absolutely NBU. I cannot count how many times I have seethed with rage at being forced to listen to someone else's music while sat on a bus/train. And I am shocked that some posters on here think you should get over it because it's a 'communal space'. EXACTLY!!!! Which is why you should show some consideration and awareness that not everyone wants to have to listen to the same thing you do. Well I guess some people on here have answered my question about just what sort of person could feel it was acceptable behaviour

I highly recommend Lynne Truss's book 'Talk to the Hand' - she addresses this (and related) issues and her theory is that some people seem to have no concept of being out in public, and feel that they have the right to behave exactly as they please wherever they are, no matter how irritating/antisocial/offensive they are being. I think she's spot on, although knowing this does nothing for my blood pressure

bupcakes- I witnessed a similar incident on the bus in Shepherds Bush. There were 2 lads playing music out of their phones. Both were constantly looking round for a reaction so they knew they were being tosstwunts.

Then this massive dude got on- looked like 50cent on steroids- and asked them to use headphones or turn it off (I was too scared to ask them). They didnt, and started mouthing off - "what are you going to do about it?" etc

He just snatched the phone off them and crushed it underfoot. Everyone else on the bus sniggered.

I dont normally condone wanton acts of vandalism but this one makes my Top 10 memories of living in London.

YANBU....but do fully expect a fuck off and to have spitballs flicked at your hair.

Not worth the hassle imho....

bupcakes, that major just became my personal hero I don't say anything because I feel intimidated, then hate myself for not saying anything, because it means the yobbos get to take over and do what the hell they like. Meanwhile, decent folk with a real understanding of what 'communal' means are scared into silence

YADNBU. It's incredibly rude and inconsiderate to play music sans headphones,while on public transport. There's no need for it.

I can't believe how many people think this is OK. I know there are some people who think any behaviour is ok, but honestly, mners? Wheh on a bus or train, I rarely never go and sit right behind someone and sing at top volume, sometimes offensive lyrics. So why is it OK for you to do this with your phone?

OTOH, if you are the kind of person who sits behind someone and sings into their ear top volume, you are a lost cause

No, you're defo not being U. It is rude and basically gives the message that the person doing it doesn't give two hoots about the comfort or personal space of everyone sitting/ standing around them. Ditto having conversations at ear splitting volume on trains or buses.

It always makes me uncomfortable and I would never dream of doing it myself. All these people who make out that this is some kind of 'precious' POV because 'it's a public space after all' are entitled to their opinions, but I think too much of this kind of thing spoils public spaces for everyone.

I don't see why 20 people (usually sat worrying!) in an NHS waiting room should be subjected to Gangsta Rap played tinnily and at top volume on someone's mobile phone just because they forgot to bring their headphones with them and can't bear to sit in silence or with their own thoughts for a while (like everyone else is doing). It just screams 'my entertainment/ comfort is more important than yours' which is pretty antisocial tbh.

If you're interested, Lynn Truss writes a really interesting and funny book about modern manners called 'Talk to the Hand' which discusses this in more detail. It might make you want to become a hermit though. You have been warned