to wonder if all mothers/parents REALLY think that their child/ren are beautiful?

[MilliONaire]

This is a follow-on thread from the 'parents boasting' thread I started earlier tonight...

I was wondering if parents (especially mothers) really do think their babies are the most beautiful? I don't mean loving them and accepting them for who they are but that all out 'my incredible child could win beauty competitions' type of adoration.

Or does any parent look at their child and think 'good job s/he has a great personality'

Just wondering....

I also don't believe my children are beautiful in some objective type way. They are nice-looking, they have that lovely clear skin, shiny hair, lovely slim legs that lots of girls have before they hit adolescence and spots and their faces all grow funny. I think they have regular and nice enough features that they won't be disadvantaged in the looks department. But do I think they are the best-looking in their class? No, but I find them beautiful and love watching their faces.

And why do all these 'longest eyelashes in the world' not last into adulthood (or presumably we wouldn't spend millions on volumising and lengthening mascara every year)?

I honestly think my children are incredibly beautiful and I know I'm right as their dad and grandparents agree :o

However I thought this about DS from the moment he was born and yet the Bounty picture on my profile shows a VERY different story - he is red, scrunched up and squinting. I do have other photos that show him in a much better light though :o

Dd1 really is beautiful, I mean it in the most unbiased way of course. Since she was a baby, she has always been striking - huge eyes, long eyelashes, olive skin, a beautiful smile. She also has thick glossy hair and is tall and slender.

Dd2 is more cute than beautiful - but like a good wine is growing into quite a stunner. When she was a newborn I thought she looked a bit of a mess. I remember bil saying, "god she's beautiful" and me saying, "er no she's not!" But now I think, that like dd1, so long as she doesn't sprout a humungous nose or wonky teeth (famous last words!) she really is going to be gorgeous - like dd1 she's tall and slender, with beautiful skin and already you can see she'll have great bone structure.

So, um no YANBU. This mother really does think her children are beautiful! But I'm also fully prepared to accept that others may think otherwise (clearly they would have to be blind, but still...) .

dd1 was plump and perfect at birth. she then lost a lot of weight and went through the gremlin phase, coming through it into bouncing babydom of utter perfection from about 3 months onwards. She's still gorgeous and everyone comments on her unusual colouring.

dd2 was grey/blue at birth and took a while to pink up. her ears are a bit squashed and she's not as symmetrical as dd1; she looks to me a bit like a furry brown bear of some kind. it's her imperfections which make her perfect to me, and she has the most beautiful big brown eyes, and warm, quiet personality which just makes me want to snuggle up with her and hibernate.

DS's buonty picture and a few weeks old

I have wondered this, I truly believed my DCS were/are stunning, but I did not think this about my DGDs.

I am sure that as the love grew, it was not instant like with my own, they got more attractive.

i also think the definition of beauty on this thread is very narrow and restrictive.

symmetrical features, yada yada... I find beauty in what is interesting, not in what marketing blokes from multinationals have paid scientists to 'discover'.

ok, I've looked at some of the photos from parents who are gushing about the beauty of their children and I have to say I agree with the OP.

It is the endorphines and hormones tricking you. Your child is no better looking than you and your partner. They will spend hours in the mirror as a teenager confirming this and untangling the years of lies and delusion their parents have put on them.

My son was odd looking when he came out. This triggered my pnd. I had a c section and no liar hormones to guide me through the grimness of a fresh baby . He does look like an actual cherub now. I love him but he is only as good looking as his parents.

Who happen to be gorgeous!

I don't think all children are beautiful but I think most young children (under 5) are cute. Once they lose the toddler chubbiness, button noses and start to get adult teeth I think most become ordinary/awkward looking. However I do think some parents look at their children and see truly stunning children when they really aren't. You only need to watch the beauty pageant/pushy parent reality tv shows to know that.

Intergalactic, what a lovely description of your dd2. My dd2 has an incredibly magnetic personality - always has done - so if she doesn't grow up into the stunner that I think she will, she'll always have a certain je ne sais quoi to fall back on!

I had a long chat with dd1 the other day about beauty - she started coming out with a load of (unfortunately rather perceptive) cobblers about how if she were pretty people would like her more and want to be her friend. I got quite passionate in my objections to this, telling her that she should never rely on beauty alone but always concentrate on the person she is and her intelligence!

I think a few months on an outdoor survival course away from mirrors might be in order one day!

When DS1 was born I thought he was totally gorgeous. The most gorgeous baby in the world. He has become a pretty handsome little fella although looking back at photos of him as a newborn last year we did recognise that he looked pretty odd; hairy, red and squashed up like a tomato.

HOWEVER, DS3 was born 6 months ago and emerged into the world looking the absolute spitting image of DS1 as a newborn and, guess what, we thought he was gorgeous.

Love is indeed blind.

Saying that, I can now see the difference in attractiveness between all 3 of my babies. They are not equally gorgeous but they are all wonderful and are equally loved.

LeQueen, I said all children were beautiful - to me they really are. It's just semantics though, because I really mean that the way they are, their youth & unselfconsciousness, with all their imperfections just makes my heart ache and I can't think of a better word to describe that than beauty. I agree that not all children are conventionally attractive.

Cute's definitely not the word I'd use but I am probably thinking mostly about older children.

skyswept - 'untangling the years of lies and delusions' - i totally disagree with your sentiment. I think human beings, particularly children have an intrinsic beauty and value, and that's what i try to communicate to my children. I think the lies and delusions stem from the feelings of inadequacy which teenagers recieve from people trying to flog them stuff off the back of their new found inadequacy! don't buy into it and please don't pass it on to your kids.

Yuno - totally agree with you about the camera being the problem - looking back at photos of DD as a baby show her as being quite a weird looking little thing - a square head, scrunchy eyes and a weird mohican, whereas in reality she was just totally, absolutely, gobsmackingly gorgeous!!

She is now nearly 5, and is mostly lovely - although her tantrum face is quite hideous! I call her "my gorgeous girl" - although I do also tell her that beauty is from the inside and she looks most beautiful when she smiles.

Now, DS (6 mths old) is quite simply the most beautiful little baby boy ever to have set foot on earth - wonder what the camera will do to him??!!

Mine wasn't born looking so much like Churchill as Peter Alliss! Coming from a golfing family this was rather amusing...

But yes I do think he's gorgeous now. Most of the time. Someone in a shop said to her companion that he was cute the other day and I thought, "She doesn't see him with an ugly screwed up face having the habdabs at home when I refuse to let him watch TV in the morning!"

I keep wondering whether to tell him the old wives' tale about it sticking if the wind changes...

Ds was not a gorgeous baby, he was VERY round. but my god he is gorgeous now, i just stare at him, he is beautiful. DP commented the other day when we were walking home in the dark that he is so beautiful he actually glows.

Not sure everyone would agree - but i'm sure most would

my children - well DD is pretty, though built like an east german swimmer and short of neck.

DS is gorgeous. people stop me to say so.

DD2 is a baby, and i think will be a slightly daintier version of DD1.

at birth they were hideous frog like things.

whatever they realy looklike to other people, t is important that i give them confidence in their appearance.

they have the rest of the world to bring them down to earth, they don't need that from their Mother.

Both my two looked like Barry from Eastenders when they were about 6 weeks old but they were gorgeous as new borns and looked surprisingly normal compared to some of the red wrinkly babies we saw in hospital at the same time. Somehow in that 6 weeks they got blotchy skin and advanced male pattern baldness. It took another couple of months to look gorgeous again and for their hair to sort itself out.

skyswept - I have to disagree with you on saying that a child will be no better looking than the parents. My DS1 has all our best bits (as we hoped he would before he came out) He has my larger eyes and curly lashes, DH full mouth and neat ears and wavy thick hair from my family. He does have DH's nose but the boy can't be totally perfect and mine isn't any better.

If genetics had not been so kind he would have had all our bad bits and been hideous.

I don't think anybody has been totally OTT and said that their child is the best looking child ever. Most of us have stopped short of claiming that although whether that is a case of not wanting to show off or because they are realistic we may never know.

Dunno, to me ds just looks like any other wee boy, I don't particularly think he's any cuter than any other child his age but... people keep saying how gorgeous he is and always have done, big blue eyes, long lashes etc
Maybe they're just saying that to be nice or maybe im just too used to him.
He cute to me, but no more than I expect what anyone else thinks their child is..!?

DD1 was a beautiful baby.I was stopped in the street by strangers cooing over her all the time.She had blonde hair and huge green eyes and a very sunny nature.She did do some modelling when she was little.Now she is 7,she is still very pretty,but has lost her beautiful round cheeks.By contrast,I used to think that dd2 wasn't quite as beautiful as her sister,I don't quite know why,perhaps because I was depressed after her birth.However,she has the most angelic face and thick golden hair that I'm mortally jealous of-she has a bit more cheekiness to her face than dd1 and I think that is what draws people to her,she has a spark of something,but I don't know what.

What isn't flattering is when people say'your girls are so beautiful' and then look at me in wonderment.

to me DS is gorgeous (and, thank god, the image of his father - truly, he doesn't look like me at all, which is fab!), and I'm often stopped by passers by in the street to tell me how gorgeous he is - but in all honesty, I think he's more character-ful than truly beautiful. He's got a very expressive face and an impish grin, so I think that's what makes folk think he's cute.

(That said, who has ever been stopped in the street by someone saying "my word, your child is the ugliest I've ever seen, you poor thing!"?)

however, the photos from week 1 are pretty grim, he was all squished up and slumped - but once he started holding his head up he was definitely a 'character'. Oh, and I've seen a lot of very ugly/unfortunate looking babies too - 2 of them, their mothers both independently told me they were so glad their son was the most beautiful boy in the world - DH and I were both going as both children independently look a bit, well, mutant. (however, they both sleep, whcih my DS doesn't, so I'd go for ugly sleeper over cute but constantly awake tbh... :o) And one friend has a quite frankly malevolant looking toddler with the freakiest eyes which look straight through you - shudder. But friend tells me all the time how gorgeous her DD is, and who am I to disagree?

My boys are very handsome, objectively speaking.

They were both a bit funny-looking as babies though