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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wonder if all mothers/parents REALLY think that their child/ren are beautiful?

127 replies

MilliONaire · 06/01/2011 00:25

This is a follow-on thread from the 'parents boasting' thread I started earlier tonight...

I was wondering if parents (especially mothers) really do think their babies are the most beautiful? I don't mean loving them and accepting them for who they are but that all out 'my incredible child could win beauty competitions' type of adoration.

Or does any parent look at their child and think 'good job s/he has a great personality' Grin

Just wondering....

OP posts:
CliffBarnsby · 06/01/2011 02:59

My DD1 is gorgeous. It seems she will be cursed with my short legs but her hair and eyes and smile are beautiful. It's not just me who thinks it, either. DD2- well, she is beautiful to me. She is cute in the way all 15 mo olds are- but she wouldn't win any contests. Luckily, she also has bright blue eyes- we are still waiting on her hair, though. Grin

tryingtoleave · 06/01/2011 03:39

I thought dd was quite hideous when she was born. She was red and swollen after a fast descent. As soon as the swelling went down she became spotty. But I now think she is a gorgeous toddler. Ds has always been handsome.

Most young children are beautiful - there is only one girl in ds's preschool class who isn't pretty.

NancyDrewHasaClue · 06/01/2011 05:37

I've thought all 3 of my DC were beautiful (and TBH that all other babies/children of the same age were "odd" looking Blush )

It's only when I look back on photos that I realise how deluded I was Grin

kreecherlivesupstairs · 06/01/2011 06:03

I always thought that DD looked like chairman Mao when she was first born.
DH disagreed, she was his little angel. FF to 9.8 and I can see she is an attractive little thing, but no better than a lot of her classmates (although she also has the peculiar teeth thing going on).

WildEepsMomNDad · 06/01/2011 07:15

I'm with enjolraslove - I thought at the time DS1 was really quite cute. Looking back at photos (which admittedly generally caught very wierd faces) he was actually obviously the love child of Churchill and a gremlin.

I remember being about 10 and meeting my cousin's 4-6 mth old for the first time, everyone was cooing and I said 'oh god that is one UGLY baby' I got into deep shit-- trouble for that remark

nooka · 06/01/2011 07:28

I think in general most babies look like aliens, and mine were no exception. ds looked like a frog, and dd was quite porky. Both absolutely lovely (some of the timeGrin) too of course. But I'm not generally keen on babies - I think if I was I might have thought they were beautiful.

Now I think that ds is generally attractive in a quirky sort of way (he is a quirky sort of kid) whilst dd has moments of beauty - I have some very 'modely' pictures of her and also moments of plainess too. I do think that she is beautifully proportioned - she is tall and lean right now, and somehow just right, which I hope she carries throguh her teens as I felt terribly awkward and gawky most of the time.

MsKLo · 06/01/2011 07:47

My DS really is gorgeous - he is only young but has the longest eyelashes and people do comment on them - and him. Little toddler girls flock around him and he has what I call a Joey from friends 'how ya doin' thing going on! I can just imagine what it will be like when he is older!
My DD is very cute and to me is the most gorgeous girl ever but I can see my DS has something amazing about him looks and personality wise, he has charisma.

bronze · 06/01/2011 07:52

Mine were the most gorgeous, then I owuld have the next one and look at the last and think actually they were a bit odd looking. I do think in the grand scheme of things they are on the better looking end of the scale. When ds4 was born a friend told me she didnt know another family where all 4 children were goodlooking. I still love her and treasure than comment though really its not something to do with me. If they had all been the nicest children maybe I should then be proud.

valleyqueen · 06/01/2011 07:53

Dd was low birth weight and coverd in hair when born, of course at the time I thought she was thr cutest baby ever, but looking back on photos she so wasn't.

People tell me now how stunning she is, I would rather her be less moody tbh.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 06/01/2011 07:58

My DD now 2 was yellow and squashed looking and I knew it.

My Mum looked at her first photo and said "Not her good side"

Hmm
goingroundthebend4 · 06/01/2011 08:04

I look at baby pictures think gorgeous then see Dd and plucked chicken was not a good look to be wearing in scubu

ff now and there all gorgeous and yes I may be a tad biased lol

dd curls always get people going ,ds 2 has long eyelashes olive skin very Italian look and at 13 is beginning to use it to his advantage

ds3 reminds people of a cherub ,blonde big blue eyes .but he has sn and do get fed up of the well he is such a good looking young chap luke that makes up for it :(

higgle · 06/01/2011 08:08

DS1 was pale, spotty and very ordinary looking - used to dread people looking in the pram in cas they were taken aback by his general yucky appearance. DS2 was fortunately born at home - I say that because he looked so like a squashed up cross between an Eskimo and a garden gnome, with spaniel ears that I would have been convinced he was not mine had I been handed him in hospital. Both look relatively normal some years later!

MaybeTomorrow · 06/01/2011 08:10

Totally with ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo.

My DD's head was slightly deformed after a traumatic birth and she's only just had an operation (at 18 months) to correct an eyelid that wouldn't open properly. So I knew that probably to others she wasn't the most gorgeous thing in the world.

But to us she was and still is. I am a firm believer of beautiful people (inside) becoming seemingly beautiful outside to certain individuals, in particular their family and close friends.

For example, I have a number of very very close friends (4 to be precise!). To anyone else, they may not be beautiful aesthetically, but to me I absolutely do see them as beautiful because I love them so much. They are beautiful people and it really makes them look 'physically' beautiful to me because of it, aswell as their beauty within. Does that make any sense? Blush At all? Confused So when someone that didn't know them asks me to describe them, I always say that they're pretty. Those people may not agree with me when they see them, but that's just how I see them.

sakura · 06/01/2011 08:11

it's the hormones or something, isn't it. I could stare at my newborns for literally hours without getting bored. DH was the same, so it's not just mothers. It's biological.
I look back at photos at the time and think OMG, what a monkey
It's a trick of light, mother nature's sneaky way of getting us to look after them.

NormaSknockers · 06/01/2011 08:14

DD was not a pretty newborn - she had a 'bulldog chewing on a wasp' look about her. Thankfully she did grow into her looks Grin

cory · 06/01/2011 08:16

Ds was a very ugly little baby: I loved him to bits, but was not deluded enough not to see that the other babies on the ward were better lookers. In the same way as I am now aware that some other children are more academically gifted, more sporty, stronger, more musical. It doesn't impinge on my love in any way.

Incidentally, he grew into a very handsome little boy. But I didn't need that to feel that he was wonderful.

izzybiz · 06/01/2011 08:16

Ds1 and Dd were absolutely stunning newborns, both were olive skinned with thick jet black hair, even looking back at the photos of them in hospital its plain to see! Grin

Ds2 was slightly different, he was huge, pale skinned fair hair and less of it! I thought he looked 'funny' I think I was just surprised he didn't look more like the other two!

After a few days I thought he was just as beautiful, and he is a gorgeous toddler, all my Dc are good looking, they just are, people tell me all the time! Grin

RueLaChesty · 06/01/2011 08:18

i thought both DDs were the most gorgeous babies ever. Seriously no other baby could compare. I look at new born photos of dd2 now and by god what an ug! She was 9lb6oz and was so swollen and bruised from fast delivery. Her eyes were like slits her face was so swollen. Grin

now they are the most beautiful toddler and baby although they do have their fathers ears. At least DP and DD1 have long hair to cover them, DD2 has been described as a shrek baby!

My mum said I was the ugliest creature for 3 months as I was all bones! She actually cried about it. Certainly not all bones now!!

sakura · 06/01/2011 08:21

I was totally deluded about my newborns Grin

warthog · 06/01/2011 08:21

no.

dd2 looked just like john travolta.

PinkIsMyFavouriteCrayon · 06/01/2011 08:22

Not deluded, DD is beautiful Grin She has big blue eyes and long eyelashes lucky thing! I'm realistic to know she has some imperfections (my ears, poor thing!) and a friend of mine has a very beautiful child, but I don't care, I'm just shocked that DH and I (both nothing special in the looks department) have produced such a cute child!

LaurieFairyonthetreeEatsCake · 06/01/2011 08:26

I think foster dd is very pretty but her mother is astonishingly ugly. They look very alike so I can only put it down to me loving foster dd and bringing her up with love and that bringing out her inner beauty.

Her mother was not brought up with love so looks all sly and pinched.

That probably sounds a but weird.

bruffin · 06/01/2011 08:36

DS had a black and a cone shape head when he was born so not the prettiest baby, but went on to have big chocolate brown eyes and chubby cheeks.
He did come third in one of the shopping centre photo competitions and we were approached by another photographer about child modelling because of his smile. I didn't follow it up, because DS was not the type of child who would enjoy modelling, more interested in taking the camera to bits.
He is a long haired teenager now, and the girls all love his hair.
DD was a bit of a scrawny baby, but I often got comments about her eyes from strangers, blue with long lashes. She is 13 now and I am really not sure how she is going to turn out, as she is a bit of a tom boy who doesn't wear makeup and scrapes her hair back.

bruffin · 06/01/2011 08:37

sorry missed out "eye", should have said DS has a black eye when he was born.

YunoYurbubson · 06/01/2011 09:30

I have never not thought my children are genuinely, breathtakingly, stunningly beautiful.

Looking back through old photos I can only conclude we took consistently bad pictures, because those funny, chipmunky, squinty, cross, pink little things are nothing like the awesomely beautiful children I am quite certain I remember.

Of course, now they're completely beautiful...

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