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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask those of you with good sleeping dcs...

77 replies

RueLaChesty · 03/01/2011 21:27

to jump on over to the sleep topic and help some folk out if you have spare time please? Especially if your dcs were previous bad sleepers.

Aibu moves so fast and you are bound to get a response straight away but i know there will be some mums, like me, who have posted for help in sleep section and have sat there constantly checking phones waiting for a response that might save them whilst dc's scream in the background!

I understand why they use sleep deprivation as a form of torture!!

While i'm here does anyone have any magic advice on how to get a 9mo sleeping through? Grin

OP posts:
NinkyNonker · 03/01/2011 21:28

Watching with interest!

Serendippy · 03/01/2011 21:29

Off to the sleep topic now!

strawberrie · 03/01/2011 21:32

I'll come over for a look. Trouble is though, although I've got 1 very good sleeping DD, I'm not sure I've got any great wisdom to impart as this just seems to be the way she naturally is.

SharkSlayer · 03/01/2011 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
RueLaChesty · 03/01/2011 21:43

thanks folk. Sometimes even just a 'you're not alone' can help.

I'm off to settle DD2. Back later for some reponses and hopefully everyone will have had the advice they need and we all get a good night sleep.

You know, i think if i had one wish it'd be the world to get good sleep and then you wouldn't need to wish for world peace as we'd all be in good moods!

OP posts:
Booandpops · 03/01/2011 22:21

My dd was rubbish until 11mths or so I tried cc quit After 2 hrs. But then we did the baby whisperer pick up put down technique. Google it under baby whisperer. That did the trick! Took about 4 nights but was so worth it and dd wasnt that upset about it much easier to take than cc as u are comforting yr child and yr with them She remained a little bit harder than my ds till about 4 yrs but now is no problem at all and sleeps thr unless ill or nightmare every night. My ds who is younger was always a good sleeper but liked swaddling and I didn't have time to pander to him so he
Learnt quick to settle himself and I never had any issues unless he was ill. Good luck. Try baby whisperer it works.

Whitethorn · 03/01/2011 22:27

I did that and then got devoured by another mner who didnt agree with me discussing what worked for me and started lecturing me about giving incorrect information (hello its about sharing experience)

In my experience these threads get highjacked by zealots who want to push an agenda so sorry but I wont be joining in.

parakeet · 03/01/2011 22:30

Controlled crying (on my 2-year-old) SAVED MY LIFE.

Only took two nights, too.

Hope you find something that works for you.

BootyMum · 03/01/2011 22:35

Second the baby whisperer.

But also just follow your instincts - we sometimes have DS [20 mths] co-sleep, sometimes put him to bed later if he refuses to settle relatively quickly and seems too awake, sometimes he seems to need a nap during the day, sometimes not. We just go with the flow really. Not being smug, I think DS was/is probably a relatively easy baby generally [2nd DS due in 5 weeks and may be completely different story!]. But going with the flow and incorporating some baby whisperer advice [EASY] really worked for me [as a not very routine orientated person] and also for baby.

Good luck!

MsKLo · 03/01/2011 23:02

I haven't any advice but lots of sympathy OP! Both my kids are bad sleepers and my 16 month old still wants to feed at night - can't get her off the boob!

I will be looking for advice too!

winnybella · 03/01/2011 23:08

I just went with it, tbh. DD was breastfed so we co-slept for few months, then I would put her in her cot at bedtime and take her to bed with me at around midnight for bf and she would stay there with us, then at around 12-14 mo she started sleeping through in her cot. Still, once in a while she'll wake up at around 1 am and I just take her to bed with me, but it's very rare. She now sleeps 10 (goes to bed at 9 but plays for an hour by herself)-9 (which will have to change once she goes to the kindergarten, obv).

WannabeNigella · 03/01/2011 23:11

Popping on over now.

Good post! Makes you realise you can actually help on mumsnet other than get anialated in AIBU lol!

rareasrareis · 03/01/2011 23:15

Joined this site for the very same topic!!
My dd is 3 weeks away from turning 3yrs and is still a bad sleeper!

She was referred to a sleep clinic a long time ago(yes they do exist on the NHS) and even that didn't improve things. She co-sleeps due to my sheer exhaustion (I'm a part-time working mum) however my partner and I hardly have an evening together due to her continuous waking!

Will now try some of the tips found on this site and see what works whilst continuing the good routine she is in by night, plus getting enough sleep to write reports and motivate vulnerable young people by day!!

whooo (sigh) got that off my chest....that's a start!!

PinkIceQueen · 03/01/2011 23:17

Really whatever works for you... try the gentler sleep techniques, notch it up the more desperate tired you get. Controlled crying worked for me, my children didn't love me any less and they are both still very good sleepers (12 hours a night minimum) Smile Good luck to all sleep deprived parents.

Original poster
RueLaChesty · 04/01/2011 00:04

i just realised the thread i had thought i had started in sleep didn't actually post, so i've bumped my old one if you fancy taking a look?

On another note or two.

Could my DD2 be hungry? 9mo but stopped night feeds herself at 6mo but maybe with growth spurts? Would it be insane to get her on night bottle again?

Also, could she be cold. She wears vest, jammies and grobag, 2:5tog. Room is usually around 20 degrees. Do you think she needs more?

OP posts:
onceamai · 04/01/2011 06:59

Do not start the bottle again. If she has slept well and now isn't, don't underestimate the pain of teething at this stage.

Neither of mine slept well, neither of mine seem to need that much. Go with the flow and do what works for you. Certainly with DS, we spent a very long time putting him down at 8 and expecting him to sleep until morning. He'd be wide awake and raring to go from 2-5ish. Eventually we realised it was better to just have him around and put him down when we went. He was always up by about 6.30 and had a good sleep after lunch. This pattern has lasted all the way through and he's 16 now - not the sleep after lunch. Often a night owl, never have problems getting him up in the morning for school.

He was much better once he started school when we could reliably expect him to sleep from about 10pm until 7pm.

MsKLo · 04/01/2011 07:07

She could be hungry? I think you need to do what you think is right as a mother. Stopping night feeds at six months was lucky! I probably am not the best to give advice on that as my naughty DD fed twice last night ( although it is bf ) and she is 16 months! Aghhhh!

Kiwiinkits · 04/01/2011 07:49

I third the Baby Whisperer. We used the techniques in the book from Day 1 so had DD sleeping regularly through the night from 10 weeks. But the 'rescue' strategies for getting older babies to sleep seem to be sensible too. Google it or buy a copy from Amazon.

Whitehorn is right. You'll find two camps on the sleep forum, and never the twain shall meet. I'm scared of the zealots over there. All I know is that Baby Whisperer works and I would recommend it to anyone.

Chandon · 04/01/2011 07:58

am not a zeloat, but for my boys the 5 minute rule worked.

Also, at about 7 months only water offered, no milk.

I had a wise friend who told me: If you were offered a nice hot drink every time you woke up, and a cuddle, you would feel reluctant to give that up wouldn't you?!

So we would leave baby to cry 5 mins (with a timer as it can seem quite long). If the crying was calming down, we would leave him. if he was progressively more hysterical, we would go in. Offer water, and leave again. (I think this a a version of controlled crying)

It worked.

but all babies are different, and parents too, and you ahve to find your own way that suits you and your baby.

itsonlyblardy2011 · 04/01/2011 08:06

Rue,
sounds like clothing and temp are perfect, i defo wouldn't go "back" to night feeds.
can you look at what they eat during the day?

my dd is this age and i notice that some days she can be really hungry ie after feeding squeal for more. on these days i give her porridge or weetabix before bed with her last bottle

if it is teething, try some gel on gums before bed

are you using a dummy?

itsonlyblardy2011 · 04/01/2011 08:07

also agree with chandon and having a timer. a few mins in the middle of the night can seem like hours

mnistooaddictive · 04/01/2011 08:09

I always stay off sleep. It us always the same passi

mnistooaddictive · 04/01/2011 08:11

Passioned argument between those who havebeen driven to cc and those who think it is wrong. There is a lot of info on sleep training out there. Choose a Method and do it. It isn't hard. How can people add to that! That is why we don't post.

Avocadoes · 04/01/2011 08:29

Both mine were BF to sleep and woke every 3 hours 'ti 7 orl 8 months when I did CC. I think the key with CC is utter consistency. Put them in the cot, leave the room and make them settle. Whenever you reenter never pick them up. Be consistent 'til 7am. For both mine it worked in 3 nights. They have self settled and slept through ever since.

Some think cc is cruel. I genuinely think my girls were happier once they were sleeping through. I even felt like I'd given them a gift.

Casserole · 04/01/2011 08:52

Avocados said what I was going to.

We did controlled crying and it worked in about 4 nights. I've since recommended it to friends who have tried the other methods and it worked for them in about the same time frame.

For me, allowing the sleep deprivation and disrupted night cycle to go on was far crueller. Teaching DS to settle himself off happily to sleep was the best present ever. For him, me and DH too.

Others' mileage may vary but you're asking for experiences - well, that's mine. Good luck Grin