to ask those of you with good sleeping dcs...

[RueLaChesty]

to jump on over to the sleep topic and help some folk out if you have spare time please? Especially if your dcs were previous bad sleepers.

Aibu moves so fast and you are bound to get a response straight away but i know there will be some mums, like me, who have posted for help in sleep section and have sat there constantly checking phones waiting for a response that might save them whilst dc's scream in the background!

I understand why they use sleep deprivation as a form of torture!!

While i'm here does anyone have any magic advice on how to get a 9mo sleeping through?

thanks for replies i'll try post later on when i get to a computer. :)

Agree with having a timer or watch, 1 minute can feel like an hour when your child is screaming fit to burst. Nerves of steel help too

9 month old -

do a routine everynight (no longer than 20 mins with dimmed lights/quiet)

avoid a nap after 5pm,

put to sleep with eyes open as often as possible

let them feed and feed during the day.

When they wake do not take them out of the room, no eye contact/;lights/talking. Try and cuddle them to sleep not feed them (get DH to do it if possible)

after 2 weeks of the above I would then do no night feeds, just cuddles, and then after a week of that do controlled crying.

Mine all sleep through (3,5, 14), and have done from 9 weeks, then all have a blip at 4 months (which I suffer til they are about 8 months then do the above),

my lovely 7 month old is in mid bad sleep (she did sleep through, and she will again, have faith)

''Some think cc is cruel. I genuinely think my girls were happier once they were sleeping through. I even felt like I'd given them a gift.''

I second this totally

DS2 13 months, still wakes for a feed at least once a night (7-7). This is an improvement on three/four times up until quite recently. What improved matters:

• DS2 just got older. Ate more dinner so probably fuller. Got better at farting about with his cuddly toy and cot toys.

• moved him out of our room and in with his three year old brother. Three year old brother less bothered by shuffling/meeping so we don't get disturbed by this at intervals over night. How I agonised about this move but was a Very Good One.

• controlled crying "custom" - e.g. up to midnight absolutely no bending unless it wakes the 3 year old up. After midnight slightly more sympathetic although we give him ten mins or so to settle.

• Reducing the stimulation if I do go in e.g. I don't take him out the cot now if I give him a feed (bottle, hopefully obviously) I also let him hold the bottle whilst I change his bum so in five minutes he's set up for the remainder of the night without being hoofed in and out and flipped about.

Hang in there. DS1 was a dream, DS2 isn't. Some of them just take longer and many many babies older than yours (like my darling) are still up and down like fuzzy little yoyos. xxx

This brings back some memories!!! DS was excellent sleeper put down and of to the land of nod he went. DS born 16 months later and my goodness what a shock it was. Would not sleep, would not settle on own. I resorted to sleeping on the floor by cot for 18 loooooong months!! Eventually DS settled on her own but not because i did anything.
Sorry cant offer advice but feel for all those suffering from sleep deprevation

My dd is nearly 9 months and until mid-December she was waking at 10pm, 1am, 3am, 5am (I was feeding her each time) and getting up about 6.

One weekend before Christmas when she hadn't fed for that long each time the night before we decided to try and settle her instead of feeding her. If she cried I'd go to her but if she "moaned" I'd let her get on with it. To be honest it was a lot easier if dh settled her as he couldn't feed her and I was easily tempted.

It wasn't solved over night but she did settle more quickly than I thought she would and she's never been desperate for the morning feed so I've realised it wasn't about food for her. I still feed her at 10pm but I think that's more about me than her.

Thanks for all the replies.

Ok, sorry for long post but I'll let you know my exact situation and see if anyone can offer any advice.

2 DD's, 2.4yo and 9mo, share a room, DD1 in bed, DD2 in cot. Both slept in our room till 6mo and both were bf, dd1 till 6mo, dd2 till 5mo. DD1 used to feed to sleep, DD2 has never fed to sleep. She is hungry she feeds, never falling asleep.

DD1 has NEVER slept through, awful sleper. Now she sleeps from when she goes down (between 7 and 8:30ish) til about 4am and then climbs in with us till the morning. We could cope with this as it is very little disturbance but now we have issues with DD2's sleep.

DD2 has slept through, was great from about 4mo, getting up for one feed then straight back to sleep, then when we switched to formula she stopped night feeds herself. still got up once a night but on the odd occasion slept through. Then it all changed at 6mo. She goes down between 7 and 8pm, but self settles to an extent, and is then up at midnight and it can take hours to settle her, unless we bring her in with us but then DP and I get no sleep. We can't continue with this!! She will just not go back down and self settle at all.

Last week DD1 ended up falling out our bed when the 4 of us were in it and now has a bruised chin. So NO MORE!! New years resolution is that everyone sleeps in their own bed!

So nighttime routing for both is bath, milk, into room and into bed/cot with dimmed lights for story/lullaby. Then lights out and DD2 settles in 10-30mins but DD1 can take up to 90 mins to settle. I can't leave the room at this time. We have managed to go from lying on her bed to just being in the room and we did take her bottle from her when she was 2 and her dummies went to santa. So I am fine with sitting in the room as I feel she is making great progress.

DD2 has a dummy which she only uses (her choice not ours) for sleep, its in for first 5 mins then spat out.

So my question is how to we get DD2 to settle. Before I read my responses we had given her a bottle last night and then she settled after 45mins and slept till 7:30am. But I really don't want to go down the route of night feeds again. She has ate very well today so I'm hoping she is full enough but we'll see how it goes!

DD1 is fine now when she comes in we just march her back in and she is sleeping within 5 mins. She is doing this twice just now so i'm hoping that as the week goes on this will become less (is this rapid return?).

DP is helpful when here but some nights he is on nightshift so I am doing all the wakenings and I return to work tomorrow after mat leave so I really need to sort this!

Sorry, if I don't answer any posters direct, but thanks for anyone who popped over to sleep. I know they can turn a bit heated but its usually not the OP involved in the debate so hopefully by the time the opposing teams come on the OP has had a vast of advice and can choose what method suits her.

I think that yes, choose a method and stick to it but there are so many methods and I like to hear peoples experiences to see which method I could cope with suits me!

Thanks again and sorry for the long post! :)

dd1 sounds well on the way to a full night's sleep. Could dd2 be teething? Or hungry if she settled after the extra bottle? You could try weetabix or something before bed?

My experience - I'm a harsh mother and a heavy sleeper -

resulting in my first child sleeping for 14 hours a night (6pm-8am) at 6 weeks old, and my second sleeping for 10 hours a night (10pm-8am) at 9 weeks old.

I ensured they were warm, clean, fed, etc. Settled them down, heard from them again in the morning.

Oh also, i don't think CC is cruel but it doesn't seem to work with my two. Tried with DD1 for 2 weeks, 2 hours a night! No progress so we gave up.

With DD2 she gets herself in such a state when crying. and then she wakes DD1 so we're in a vicious circle. :(

Pinkicequeen, DD2 is teething now, in last week has cut her third tooth. the first 2 she cut at 6mo so I do give a bit of leeway for this but then why the unsettledness (a word?) between these times?

Tonight she had dinner quite late and still took all night time bottle so I'm going to see how this pans out.

She is a good eater, todays menu

breakfast (7:30-8am) of weetabix
9am bottle formula 8oz
12noon lunch (beef casserole) then fruit puree (bluberry and pear with a full banana mashed in) with water
13:00 bottle formula 8oz
16:00 baby cookies
17:30 cottage pie, yogurt, strawberries
19:00 bottle formula 8oz
19:30 sleep

phew!

Not magic but mine did sleep dd1 from 8 weeks 7-7 but was bottle fed from 6 wks.
dd2 breastfed until 6 months and eventually slept at 9 months.
Get a nap routine first - put down at set times and get up at set times regardless of amount of sleep actually had i.e. 9-945 and 1-3pm and don't get up before time. If lots of crying go in, no eye contact and shush / say go to sleep and leave.
Blackout blinds
No toys in cot.
Dress same as bedtime.(this can relax once sleeping is ok).
In the night don't feed - if breastfed get dh/dp/friend for a week to settle to avoid temptation if possible. If alone offer warm water from a bottle/cup.
Always have a bedtime routine i.e. bath,boob/bottle,story,bed as it helps them realise what is expected.
Use low lighting to settle and none in the room at night (put landing or next door room light on instead.
Don't pick up, stroke, shush, pat then leave and repeat.
Or use cry it out if you can see it through. If not don't start it because baby learns that if they cry long enough someone comes in the night. (Lots of people don't like this method but it is the quickest method.
It is completely normal for breastfed babies to still feed at night until 2 years or breastfeeding ceases.

How much does dd2 eat and what and when?

CC sometimes takes all night the first night RLC so possibly that's why it didn't work. Aw bless dd2 is probably in loads of pain, imagine having nagging toothache, you'd find it hard to get to sleep. In desperation I used to plaster Bonjella around a dummy and stuff it in lol (bad me I know), but sleep depravation and me are a bad mix.

Early days, you are doing well, it's hard to see the light through the fog sometimes I know, but these times will pass soon. See how tonight goes.

The only other thing I can think is maybe having a supper at 19:00 with bottle of more weetabix or similar, or even give the formula in the weetabix instead of as a drink. If she has her last meal at 17.30 and then not having breakfast until 7.30, that's quite a long time ifswim?

CaptainCroc, see my previous post but I should add that she will also eat anything that anyone else in her reach has! She likes her food. She was a big baby, 9lb 6oz but I wouldn't say she is big now but a big eater.

Most of the food is homemade but occasionally she will get a jar but they don't seem to fill her!

She loves red meat dishes, will eat chicken but can't tolerate fish, projectile vomitting. Loves fruit and veg! Todays menu was a typical day but the amounts were more. But the past few days she has ate less and I think that might be due to her teething. Still plenty of fluids.

I think that DD1 was only down to 2 bottles at this stage, vertainly not having 8oz bottles but DD2 seems to need it.

I would ideally
7am up then cereal then milk in a cup.
9-945 sleep
10am fruit and water in cup
12 md lunch of omlette or bread with meat and some salad or pasta with ham and sweetcorn then a yoghurt/custard/rice pudding
1-3pm sleep
3pm snack with water of breadstick/fruit/crumpet
5pm meal meat/veg/potatoes, pasta, rice and fruit + water
630pm bottle/cup of milk.
7pm sleep (aim to be in bed).

Thanks folk, I appreciate all the replies.

I'm off to bed just now as working in the morning, going to be a shock for the system after 11 months so fingers crossed I get a good nights sleep. DP is off tomorrow so He'll do most of tonight.

I'll come back tomorrow with my progress.

sorry didn't see that
From what you have written you don't need to mash or puree at this age. Try allowing her to feed herself her handsize chunks which will take longer to digest. Puree passes more quickly through the gut as it is already partly broken down.
Also you can try weetabix at bed time.

Mine are both excellent sleepers. Here's what we did.

We never rocked them to sleep or sang or cuddled them to sleep. They'd be fed, and then changed, then put down awake in their moses basket/cot, we would turn on the Starlight Dreamshow (Tomy, £9.99, available at Amazon) and leave them to it. Mostly they would just fall asleep. If they grizzled a little we would pat their tummy and say "shhh" then leave them to it again. I never left them crying uproariously but then if they were fed, changed and ready to sleep, then they had nothing to cry about. Part of this however is probably luck.

They went in their own room from a reasonably early age, not because we were "gina" ing or thought they'd sleep better etc but more to do with my husband's work hours and him disturbing them, but I do think sometimes when they get to a certain age this might be a factor.

They would nap well in the day but I wouldn't hesitate to start dropping it down to an hour a day or no more than a certain time if their night time sleep was being effected. Whereas others would say that's cruel or "never wake a sleeping baby" etc etc (what if you have to do the school run? Of course you can get them up, wont kill em)

I offered milk 3 hourly during the day so that when they came to drop a feed, they dropped a night feed. If they weren't hungry they wouldn't take it. Both slept through 10pm - 7am by 12 weeks, then 7pm - 7am by about 14 weeks (1st child) and 18 weeks (2nd child)

Once they'd gone through the night to that extent I only ever offered water. There was the occasional time with my 2nd child where I'd feed her her first morning milk "early" then pop her back down during a growth spurt, but I always treated anything before 7am as a "night feed" and would try and fob them off.

There was no millitary precision, super strategy meetings, book reading or rules and regs, it just made sense and we thought it was the default way to try and get things and it worked.

Probably a good percentage of luck (for them as well as us - I'm so NOT a morning person)...

Can I just say to all mums, especially new ones, who feel they aren't getting it right, we tried every trick in the trade. And we are both quite brave and firm about letting them settle. Ours just did not sleep as much as is expected of babies or children. Admittedly not helped by DS's 15 ear infections up to 15 months and DD's 11 ear infections up to 20 months.

Sadly there are a few children who just don't sleep well. Everyone seems to have a problem with something be it potty training, eating, clinginess, speech. Ours was sleep.

At the end of the day for some babies you just can't pour a quart into a pint pot - that's what make them, and us, unique.