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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get a boob job without telling mum

58 replies

whattodonow1 · 03/01/2011 00:53

After breastfeeding 3 kids (the 3rd for over a year) my boobs are looking/feeling quite deflated and I'm seriously considering a boob job. I know my mum will be very anti this and as such really prefer to not tell her. Am I being unreasonable? Also do you think people I do tell will think I'm a vain bimbo or am I right in thinking most women would like a boob job but just don't courage to get round to doing it? thoughts please...

OP posts:
WanderingInAWinterWonderland · 03/01/2011 00:54

I think it should be up to you. You are a grown woman!

TheMeow · 03/01/2011 00:55

YANBU, it's your body you can do what you want with it but if she's anything like mine she will notice and then "trick" you into telling her Hmm

scottishmummy · 03/01/2011 00:58

if its good boobie job she'll notice.if she doesn't notice ask for dough back

BitOfFun · 03/01/2011 01:05

I disagree with scottishmummy. If it's good, she won't notice. Your body, your privacy. Of course you don't have to tell your mother. Or anyone. I don't know if most women want one though- but it's up to you if you do.

Lovecat · 03/01/2011 01:05

A relative of mine had a nose job for a very, very minor issue which nonetheless plagued her and gave her a complete lack of confidence. She was terrified her mum would notice and disapprove, but 4 years later, her mum is still oblivious, despite being the one who pointed out the issue I'm the first place.

Go for it, OP!

Lovecat · 03/01/2011 01:06

In not I'm. Gah!

hugebelly · 03/01/2011 01:08

Take responsibility for your actions - if you want it, do it. You do not need her permission, you are a grown woman! You may need her help in looking after your children for a few weeks post surgery as you won't be able to lift anything, so you should mention it.

re. vanity. I fully intend to have one in a few years. Having discussed it with my friends, they are thinking along the same lines, including tummy tucks.

Do what makes you happy. You only get one shot at it!

scottishmummy · 03/01/2011 01:12

nah if baps looks same & still droopy she needs to get onto baaps.re constructive surgery should alter shape,look,alignment.what's point if still the same and droopy

BitOfFun · 03/01/2011 01:12

A few weeks? Nah. If it is straightforward, a few days without lifting should be fine.

BitOfFun · 03/01/2011 01:14

Presumably the OP's mum generally only sees them bra'ed up and reasonably perky though, scottishmummy.

scottishmummy · 03/01/2011 01:17

yes nonetheless good reconstructive surgery will alter alingment and look better.thats the point after all

midori1999 · 03/01/2011 01:38

OP, YANBU at all. You are an adult and it's your decision. Depending on what exactly you have done, you should be fine after a few days to maybe two weeks absolute maximum. I didn't have any pain killers at all after op number 2 and was fine looking after my DC.

You'd be really suprised how un-noticable a good boob job is. A friend had an ulift and small implants put in and in bras she looks the same, very natural.

I have gone (in two surgeries 10 years apart) from an A cup to a G/GG cup and if I tell people I have had a boob job they think I am lying because they do look very, very natural. Oddly, after my last op I went up 4/5 cup sizes and although people knew I was having the surgery, a few people asked when I was having it, despite the fact it was already done and I'd had to buy all new clothes.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 03/01/2011 01:40

erm, where is the law that you have to tel anyone?

you don't and if you do then be prepared for your mum to find out. but apart from that. why do you care what she thinks. you are i presume an adult. justtell her it's none of her beeswax and do it.

Vallhala · 03/01/2011 01:52

YANBU not to tell your mum - it's your body, not hers!

However, imho I think YABU to have a boob job. I'm biased though - I had breast cancer surgery when in my 30s and cannot for the life of me work out why any woman with healthy boobs would submit herself to the surgeon's knife.

But, they're your tits not mine! I'm lucky to have 1 and 2/3 and still be alive.

UnderTheRadar2212 · 03/01/2011 01:57

You don't have to tell her, you're a grown woman aren't you?

Did you ask her permission to get pg before you had your kids?

No.

Do as you please, it's entirely up to you and none of her business.

Chil1234 · 03/01/2011 08:26

As a mother, I'd be upset if my child went in for surgery and didn't trust me or love me enough to tell me about it. Wouldn't expect them to ask my permission but would be very disappointed to find that I'd been deliberately excluded. Doesn't matter that it's cosmetic.

FakePlasticTrees · 03/01/2011 08:33

If you don't want to tell her, smile sweetly and go down the posh spice route - ie claim it's just new/good bras for several years, then just let it slip in conversation.

And actually, after having them done, you will need new underwear (as you'll be a new shape) so it won't be a complete lie...

Cleofartra · 03/01/2011 09:45

YANBU, but please tell her anyway - just in case you have complications (possible with all major surgery). I know serious complications are rare - but they do happen.

That said, If I did have a boob job, I wouldn't want anyone to know. I'd worry that it would lower people's opinion of me. It's just a personal thing - I tend to think that having cosmetic surgery is like waving a big flag which has the words: 'I'm insecure and overly preoccupied with my appearance' printed on it over your head. It's not something I'd want anyone to think about me. I'd rather they thought I had shit tits but was mature and pragmatic. I feel the same about men who wear toupees or have hair transplants. Ageing and the bodily changes that come with pregnancy are part of the normal human experience - they're not intrinsically pathological.

porcamiseria · 03/01/2011 10:07

go for it, your body and your money

just dont get big jordan style tits as she might notice!!!!!!!!!

QuintMissesChristmasesPast · 03/01/2011 10:11

Do you have a partner?

He/she is the more likely candidate to ask, as it will be your partner who has to caress skin stretched over a ball when you have done it, and not your mum.

Actuallawyer · 03/01/2011 10:58

You don't need your mum's permission and I agree that it might be sensible to tell her in advance (risks of surgery).

I've disliked all the boob jobs I've noticed (I accept that there might be some I don't notice). I do judge people for having unecessary surgery but accept it's none of my business.

tinkertitonk · 03/01/2011 11:13

It's no more vain than getting your teeth straightened (which is cosmetic, don't be fooled that it's a necessity). And loads of parents have that done for their children. So tell your mum, maybe she'll even pay for it.

StewieGriffinsMom · 03/01/2011 11:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GMajor7 · 03/01/2011 11:24

Blimey though midori, why on earth would you want to go from an A to a GG Confused

diddl · 03/01/2011 11:38

Why is it any of her business-unless she´s paying?

Seriously, you´re an adult-you don´t need her approval!

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