Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

to get a boob job without telling mum

58 replies

whattodonow1 · 03/01/2011 00:53

After breastfeeding 3 kids (the 3rd for over a year) my boobs are looking/feeling quite deflated and I'm seriously considering a boob job. I know my mum will be very anti this and as such really prefer to not tell her. Am I being unreasonable? Also do you think people I do tell will think I'm a vain bimbo or am I right in thinking most women would like a boob job but just don't courage to get round to doing it? thoughts please...

OP posts:

midori1999 · 03/01/2011 14:40

"Blimey though midori, why on earth would you want to go from an A to a GG "

no real reason except I felt like it. Had I not wanted the implants changed (older implants did need changing every 10-15 years or so, new ones do not) then I probably would have been happy to stay as I was.

cleofartra why would you care what people think of you? Isn't that as bad as someone having lots of surgery because they care what people think of them? As for being appearance obsessed, I can most often be found in my wellies, scruffy tracksuit bottoms and scruffy winter coat walking my dogs somewhere remote, wet and mucky. Usually with unbrushed hair shoved in a ponytail because my dogs don't care less what I look like. When I am not doing that I am either taking care of my DC or animals, neither of which require me to care about how I look. As for what people think of me, well, my friends think I am bonkers, more for all my pets than any surgery I have had though (have also had a tummy tuck, wasted now really as been pregnant with twins since) but I never think I should curb the number of animals I keep because of what people think, so why would I change anything else based on that?

backwardpossom · 03/01/2011 14:42

Am I allowed to point out that it's pregnancy that deflates your boobs, not breastfeeding?

Anyhoo, OP, get the boob job done if you want one :)

Gemsy83 · 03/01/2011 14:44

A double GG is ridiculous sorry. And im anti implants as well tbh as it just reinforces the view women are only as good as the size/pertness of their tits and if something as major as childbearing/breastfeeding changes them we must rush out and change it because we arent proper 'women' otherwise.

NewYearNewPants · 03/01/2011 14:47

YANBU in not telling your mum (although she will probably notice eventually!). It is your choice.

I don't think 'most women would like a boob job' though. I would never go in for unnecessary 'vanity' surgery. Craziness, in my opinion. But that is just my opinion. You are the boss of you!

p.s. I would pay NOT to have GG breasts! Crikey.

midori1999 · 03/01/2011 14:49

Luckily, I don't much care what others think, nor do I feel the need to tell other women their choices are 'ridiculous' , each to their own though.

Gemsy83 · 03/01/2011 14:49

However I think being scared of what your mum will say is ridiculous, my mother dissaproves of most the things I do however id not just not tell her because im afraid she will tell me off. If you are mature enough to go under the knife you are mature enough to hear the views of others, you mum included.

Cleofartra · 03/01/2011 17:08

"cleofartra why would you care what people think of you?"

I don't care if people think I'm ugly or old. I can't help those things.

I do care if people think I'm a nob.

I think most people care about their reputation don't they?

Cleofartra · 03/01/2011 17:12

Would like to add, I'd feel mortified if someone saw me as the sort of woman who spent any time at all in front of a mirror agonising about the state of my arse or tits. I mean - fine if you're 17. At 17 you spend 90% of your time thinking about how you look. And the rest of it you spend thinking about shagging. But as a mature woman? Lordy - there are about 10000000000000000 million other things more edifying to think about/worry about/spend money on/go through pain for, than the state of my mammaries.

midori1999 · 03/01/2011 18:10

Considering you think (rather narrowmindedly IMO) that "having cosmetic surgery is like waving a big flag which has the words: 'I'm insecure and overly preoccupied with my appearance' printed on it over your head" I'm not suprised you feel how you do.

Most women who have cosmetic surgery are just normal women who want to change something about their appearance. I doubt they spend much of their time worrying about it, I know I certainly didn't. 99% of the time I couldn't give a rats arse about how I look.

JaneS · 03/01/2011 18:20

Gemsy, why is a double G ridiculous?! It's crappy enough having big boobs you didn't ask for (which can cause back pain and for which it's hard to buy a decent bra), without people making nasty comments.

OP, you're an adult. Personally I don't think I would want to - and what will you do if your mum does notice? Deny, or tell her? But ultimately it's your choice and your money.

Bear in mind that if they are very big, they will make you look larger all over in some clothes. My friend had a reduction and suddenly looks much, much slimmer too.

tyler80 · 03/01/2011 18:22

I think it's the idea of choosing to be a double G that she thinks is ridiculous rather than being a double G.

I'm F/FF and that's bad enough, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, let alone choose to have them this big.

ReindeerBollocks · 03/01/2011 18:26

YANBU your body, your business.

Not everybody who has boob jobs does so because they are vain bimbos .

Parenting takes it's toll on the body, so it would be understandable to want to correct it - can't you just explain this to your mum? If you have the means and want to do this for yourself, then do it.

ReindeerBollocks · 03/01/2011 18:28

The sceptical face was at the OP's mindset that only vain people have breast implants - not at my interpretation of that.

Damn Reindeer needs to get head round the proper use of smileys

TrappedinSuburbia · 03/01/2011 18:33

I had my boobs done for exactly the same reason.
You don't need to tell your mum and if you think she might not notice then i'd maybe not mention it (although to me it really seems wrong).
You will need help after the surgery so I hope you have another source of support!

LaraJade · 03/01/2011 18:38

If you want a boob job then go for it, as long as you are aware of the risks then you don't need approval. It's your money and your life.
I personally wouldn't have surgery because i'm a wuss and don't like pain.
But i do other 'vain' things - like have my hair coloured, wear clip-in hair extensions, go to the gym and have my teeth whitened.
BTW i wear G cup size and it's not great to be this size. The wrong clothing can make you look fat or tarty. Finding decent bras and bikini tops is hard, and they are heavy.
If you do go for it choose a cup size to balance your figure, and get them uplifted too.

WhyHavePets · 03/01/2011 18:39

Boobs done or not is up to you meh

But this " am I right in thinking most women would like a boob job but just don't courage to get round to doing it?"

Err, no, you are not. The vast majority of women do not get boob jobs after being pg/bfing and very few that I have spoken to want one - and would be very offended at the suggestion they simply lack courage

What an odd view point!

tyler80 · 03/01/2011 18:42

The mum of a boy I went to school with died when she went under the knife for a boob job. I always feel for that poor lad, who lost his mum because in those circumstances.

Original poster

whattodonow1 · 04/01/2011 00:53

Thanks for the feedback. Just to clarify ReindeerBollock I said do you think that other peoples mindset was that I'm a vain bimbo to get get a boob job, this is not my view of people getting cosmetic surgery.
If I were to get them done I'd be looking for something very subtle. Theres nothing wrong with G cups but I'm aware on my frame I'd look ridiculous. I'm really after restoring the look I had before with maybe a slight enhancement. Not really wanting to go up anymore than one cup size and a bit of lift.
Also when saying women often don't have courage I meant more from the perspective of pondering like me, what will being think? rather than not having the balls to cope with the surgery. Posts are very easy to get out of context!.

OP posts:

RRocks · 04/01/2011 01:15

It's entirely up to you. If she notices, you can feel pleased that it's made a noticable difference.

This is a feminist issue for me, however. Are They making you feel inadequate with all their 'perfect' models and actresses? Don't you realise that really you are absolutely fine just as you are?

(Having said that,I pay more for white filings in my teeth to make my smile look better. Perhaps same issue?) Teeth straightening aids brushing and dental hygiene. Mine didn't work and I have dental problems as a result.

I don't think vanity is the issue. (You don't think it's sinful to comb your hair.) Isn't the issue whether you should allow someone to carve your body into a different shape so that you can match some sort of stereotype?

IWantToBeAFairyWhenIGrowUp · 04/01/2011 08:44

YANBU - and if you are worried about your mum, don't tell her. As others have said its your body, your choice. If you have the funds to do it then its up to you.

I would have it done if I had the money. Just perk them up a bit and reduce the size a smidge as well you understand .

at midori's choice of a G cup. A friend of mine had hers reduced from a JJ cup. They were bloody massive though.

follyfoot · 04/01/2011 08:56

Absolutely your choice.

But, please dont make the mistake of thinking that most other women ponder breast surgery, they dont. Many of us accept our own bodies as they are. Whilst I'd defend your right to have done whatever you want, I'm sad that you want to undergo what is essentially an assault on your body (I worked in theatres for many years and that is what it is) for something that is not health related.

All surgery carries risks, from the anaesthetic and from the surgery itself.

midori1999 · 04/01/2011 13:25

LaraJade I agree the wrong clothing can look very wrong, or finding clothes can sometimes be a nightmare, but I felt the same when I was an A cup. The difference is, I know what it is like to be an a, to be a G/GG and to be somewhere in between, and I know which I prefer.

I think maybe people would be suprised at how many women do actually have surgery, although I by no means think that is 'most' women, by a long way, or that there are hoards of women hankering after surgery but too afraid to go ahead.

And at all the at my choice of a G cup, I haven't got some huge comedy breasts, I am 5ft7 and a size 14-16 and have breasts that look on the big side, but not disproportionate to my size. Of course, I can wear bras/clothes that make them look bigger or I can wear bras/clothes that don't.

IWantToBeAFairyWhenIGrowUp · 04/01/2011 23:12

LOL Midori, I think that's where my came from, I was thinking G cup on someone my height (5ft) so at 5.7 probably more in proportion.

LaraJade · 05/01/2011 00:56

I'm much shorter at 5'4 midori, so that's why i find it harder to stay slim looking with G cups. Also i do get self-conscious easily even wearing good bras. But on the whole i do like being an 'hour-glass' shape. The best thing i'm finding for larger boobs is to wear figure- flattering clothes and have good posture.

midori1999 · 05/01/2011 01:25

I agree absolutely with figure flattering clothes and good posture.

I wasn't that slim to start with, but is is easy to accidentally look bigger. I do have quite a big backside, but a small waist, so my boobs keep me in proportion.

Flip

1 2 3