To think this is weird clothing?

[OneTwoBuckleMyShoe]

Have posted about BIL and his GF before and their very PDA.

We are at ILs for our traditional family NYD lunch, it's something we all look forward to and make abut of an effort for, lovely food, wine, get dressed up etc.

Everyone looks lovely, DD is having a whale of a time and then BIL's GF comes downstairs. BIL is in smart trousers, shirt etc and she is wearing pink PJ bottoms, a basque 3 sizes too small and a tatty black Cardigan.

DH joking said "had she just got out of bed?" and she replied "no I've been getting ready upstairs" apparently this is what she is wearing today.

AIBU to think that is just odd? She knows what we do on this day as MIL and me were talking about it on Christmas Eve with her and saying what we were wearing etc.

My dd used to wear a tutu to go clubbing

I'm 29 and would probably refuse to go tbh.

Can not imagine inviting friends or family to my house for lunch and imposing a set of rules about how they have to dress. I can't see any way that isn't weird and rude.

My Ds regularly wears wellies and a tutu and I din't even blink calamitykate, but then he is only 3.

But it isn't a case of imposing rules, is it? The OP has said that, several times.

Who here can HONESTLY say that if they're invited somewhere, either to someone's house or out for a meal, or wherever, that they NEVER consider what is/isn't appropriate dress? If you were invited to a smart meal out, would you think "Well, I know everyone else will have made an effort and be wearing fairly formal clothes, but fuck it, I absolutely LOVE my khaki 3/4 length leggings, Uggs and "Fame" sweatshirt so I'm wearing those"?

this is the exact kind of thing i would have done in my younger days :o

as others have said, she probably did it deliberately to piss you all off. how old is she? (havent read whole thread so apols if this has already been answered)

I'd have probably taken the piss tbh much like I've done in the past when younger male cousins don't seem to realise that trousers 6 inches below your underpants just makes you look like a wally

Actually I just realised - she lives there? So the OP is complaining that someone hasn't got dressed up smartly to eat lunch in their own home? Now that really is unreasonable!

She is 18. At 18 I wore miniskirts to church, black lipstick to "dress up" ocassions, and this was me dressing sensibly.

Maybe she doesn't own the kind of clothes the OP considers acceptable. And so what? Did her choice of clothes harm anyone?

If it's acceptable to receive visitors in your jamas, is it also acceptable not to bother washing/cleaning your teeth on the basis that you're not leaving the house?

i dont see it matters what she was wearing - each to their own - you say she was hungover ..i am today aswell and havnt yet got dressed and dont intend to either. She didnt do anything terrible now did she.

If she was 25, I'd probably be a bit

However, I see loads of teenage girls in my local area wearing PJ bottoms as daywear - and even to the pub. It's not that unusual nowadays.

I know when I was a teenager and quite into the grunge scene, I went to a big family party (in a function room, smart dress all round) in my DMs, which were covered in handpainted (ineptly by me) designs, ankle length tie dyed skirt, armfuls of bangles, plaits and beads in my hair etc etc. I must have looked very out of place but I didn't care - that was dressed up for me, in the group of friends I moved in.

Had anyone suggested I wear something from Monsoon or similar I would have been beyond horrified!

she's 18 and someone is making her get out of bed after a big night out for a family meal (not even her family). No wonder she's pissed off and can't be bothered to make the effort.

TBH, I know I would have judged as exactly the same thing happened to us on Xmas Day. We went over to BIL and SIL's for Christmas brunch - and with it being Xmas Day, we always get dressed up smartly. However, also there was DH's 20 year old niece who was wearing dirty pyjama bottoms, a weird tits-out basque thing and a massive (and I mean MASSIVE) flower corsage in her hair. No-one said anything but I hold my hands up and admit to being a bit bemused by it.

I think that if the people here who are having a go at the OP were the ones hosting the meal/get together, they'd change their tune.

You've gone to the trouble of dressing nicely, and organising a meal, and one of the guests shows quite clearly that she has so little regard for the effort you've put in, that she turns up looking like she put her outfit together out of trash cans.

And you'd all think "Aaahh... bless her"?

Yeah, right.

Well yeah thelittleracoon

Shit, someone at our wedding wore jeans and t-shirt, but funnily enough, we rate people on their personalities and the fact they were there at all rather than on their clothes.

ps. the OP wasn't hosting. She was a guest, in the house where the 18 year old lives.

Yes Kaloki but you've said yourself that you've got "previous" for dressing inappropriately, so you're a bit biased, aren't you?

But she's a teenager. This is the way many teenagers dress. It may not be what i'd wear myself, but thats because I'm 38 not 18.

To the OP, and others who object to what this girl was wearing, how would you have dressed at that age? I very much doubt it would be in the clothes you would wear to such an occasion now.

Well, at 18 I certainly wouldn't have dressed in the same sort of thing I'd wear now, but it's certainly possible to dress both age appropriately AND occasion appropriately.

Nobody is suggesting that the girl should have worn a twinset and pearls. Clothing manufacturers do actually make smart clothing for 18 year olds.

There is a middle ground between clothes that are TOO formal and old for an 18 year old, and pyjama bottoms.

Pyjama bottoms. Seriously. Ridiculous.

So, does it hurt anyone?

Nobody said it hurt anyone. Except maybe the feelings of the hosts, who probably spent a lot of time, money and effort on the occasion, and who hoped that their guests would at least make the effort to look like human beings rather than "wacky" oddballs.