To think this is weird clothing?

[OneTwoBuckleMyShoe]

Have posted about BIL and his GF before and their very PDA.

We are at ILs for our traditional family NYD lunch, it's something we all look forward to and make abut of an effort for, lovely food, wine, get dressed up etc.

Everyone looks lovely, DD is having a whale of a time and then BIL's GF comes downstairs. BIL is in smart trousers, shirt etc and she is wearing pink PJ bottoms, a basque 3 sizes too small and a tatty black Cardigan.

DH joking said "had she just got out of bed?" and she replied "no I've been getting ready upstairs" apparently this is what she is wearing today.

AIBU to think that is just odd? She knows what we do on this day as MIL and me were talking about it on Christmas Eve with her and saying what we were wearing etc.

Yanbu

I would judge too.

Would this basque have met your approval?

Lingerie being the operative word there FLF, ie to be worn UNDER clothing.

I accept I am judgy and BU.

Well, it was under a cardigan, wasn't it?

Yes, it's a little odd but who cares?!

am loving this!

She is 18 and clueless. Try Yuno's suggestion if she is still with NIL next year

In my opinion anyone who goes out of the house in PJ's is a mentaler. At least that was always my understanding.

HOWEVER, in the last month I have seen 3 separate people in night clothes outdoors.
One in the local shop (pj's and a coat)
One getting into her car accross the street
And One, walking along the road wearing a dressing gown, pj's and fluffy slippers, chatting to a fully dressed friend. (Although this may have been her carer)

And yes, I am keeping a log.

In addition, my family members and friends are required to run their prospective outfits past me before any big occasion.

Makes things simpler.

Touché midori except the cardi is not done up so norks and belly are on full view shudder

Wow.. you'd have loved the way I dressed when I was 18.

And anyone in my family (of boyfriends family) who thought of making rude comments would have got short shrift.

Maybe she thinks Monsoon clothes are vile, but kept her thoughts to herself.

She's 18? In that case YABU.

I saw a crowd of teenagers walking down the street a few weeks back all dressed in pyjama bottoms, ugg boots and vest tops. They were off for a night out!

yanbu, it is WEIRD.
I admire her brass for insisting on her own style and not trying to fit in.
But it's still WEIRD.

(Oh, and it sounds quite hideous, too).

"I admire her brass for insisting on her own style and not trying to fit in."
I suspect it's not her style, it's just the latest fashion in her crowd.

I think the pyjama trousers and tatty cardigan combo is the current 'look' amongst the youth these days. She and bil probably had a right laugh about you boring old fuddy duddies afterwards.

Kid's eh?!

Well personally, at 18 I was quite capable of knowing what sort of clothing was appropriate for certain occasions, and adjusted my outfits accordingly.

What's suitable for a party of 18 year old fashionistas isn't necessarily suitable for a smart, family get-together. That's just the way it is.

I'd have thought she looked weird too, although I wouldn't have said anything in front of her. That WAS a bit rude of your DH.

Although I suppose if she's insensitive enough to dress like a prat when everyone else is wearing more conservative clothes, she isn't likely to be much upset.

I think having a smart dress code at a family get together is weird ..but each to there own

Is it as formal as a "dress code" though? I mean, I went to a party at a friend's house last night and I said to another friend who was going "Are we dressing up then?" and she said "Yeah, I think A (party hostess) is dressing up" so I put a nice dress on. I'd have considered turning up in jeans and a jumper a bit rude.

What's wrong with making a bit of an effort, and putting a bit of thought into what company you're mixing with when considering what to wear?

Well it rather depends on your style doesn't it ..I don't even own a dress

It's not a formal dress code! We just forgo our usual casual jeans & top type clothes fir something you might wear out to eat for example, it's just nice to have a day where we all wear something a bit more dressy and have napkins etc which we wouldn't normally have and yes she knew all about this before today so wasn't in the dark.

If these are the clothes she goes out in etc then fair enough but boy fashions have changed in the 10 years since I was 18!

YABU, and your DH was rude to comment on her appearance.

And yes I think it's weird to insist that people dress up for a family lunch at home. If you want to then fine, but I don't see why you get to tell anyone else what to wear. I wouldn't dress a certain way just because my in-laws had arbitrarily decided that 'this is what we do' on a particular day .

Like lots of people do at Christmas/New Year etc. I get you, OneTwo.

The more I think about it, the less I think she was probably bothered by your DH's remark. Pyjama bottoms FFS. Unless she's monumentally stupid, she'd have been perfectly well aware when she was getting dressed that she'd stick out like a sore thumb. Maybe that was her intention. Nobody with half a brain would expect to wear pyjama bottoms among a group of people in "normal" clothes without at least one person mentioning it.

Well I know for a fact my 18 year old would refuse to go to a family get together if he had to wear smart clothes ..

For those who are saying "She can wear what she likes" I'm interested: if you'd invited someone to a meal or whatever, how far could they veer towards "Inappropriately Dressed" before you thought "Hmm. Weird..."?

A nightie and tartan slippers? Bikini? Wellies and a tutu?