to charge friend for babysitting on NYE?

[lisad123isasnuttyasaboxoffrogs]

Friend knows I dont do NYE and explained that she couldnt find a babysitter and would I be willing to do it for her, saying she would pay me. I said I normally charge £50 for the night on NYE.
A few weeks passed and via another friend I was made to feel very guilty that said friend couldnt go because she couldnt afford the £50. I then said I would do it for £30 as shes a friend but she needed to be back by 1.30am at that price.
All agreed, seemed fine
Babysat last night for her LO. One was fine but the other wouldnt go to bed till 11pm and was very rude to me.
12.40am I get a text telling me "remember I said I would pay you £20 tonight and £10 in the week", I replied I dont remember agreeing to that, but fine see you later. Then she texts and say "well my husband didnt think we should pay you at all because we are friends and help each other out!"

Now yes we do help each other out, with things like school pick ups and drop off or watching each others kids if needed. Now I never ask her to do this for me unless really needed and if I ask her she will always ask the next day for the return favor and normally not because she needs it but because she wants more time to self. She is always a favor for a favor type.
Anyways she has never had my children in the vening, only once when DH was rushed because to hospital. I have had her kids a number of evenings and never charged or been fussed about it, but she does tend to take the mick with things like arriving back 2-3 hours late or letting me continue to have the kids at mine when her dh has come home and gone out again when he could have come ad got them.

so sorry that ended up long.
I just dont know what to say to her next time. I tend to spend less kifds time with her as my dd1 doesnt really get on with her dd1 and they are in the same class.

I think sometimes 'friendships' run their course and this ones flat out.

Just dont do favours for her anymore nor ask her to do you favours.

OMG are you serious? You charged your friend money for babysitting???

Lol I wouldn't have the nerve, but then again I wouldn't babysit kids unless they were really well behaved.

she sounds like a user, not a friend. not your fault she couldn't afford to go out.. I imagine, if she was a really good close friend with a good reciprocal relationship, you wouldn't have wanted to charge anyway.. so it would not have been an issue.. but as she is the type to take advantage , you would..

has she paid you ?

how about next time she asks, yo say no.. you have a lot on your plate and you can say you really aren't up to it

did she ever pay you?

Since you made it clear you were charging then YANBU.

Presumably babysitting for her for £30 meant you couldn't babysit for someone else for £50. Your friend could have gone with Sitters or something if she thought she could get a better deal.

A bit confused as to why you would ask your 'friend' to pay you tbh? Are you a childminder?

If my friend was stuck for a babysitter and I wasn't doing anything I wouldn't charge them!

I believe it's called being a friend?

Think yabvvvvvvvu!

Personally I couldn't charge a friend for babysitting. I wouldn't have the nerve but I can see why you would for NYE, especially if you had more than one person ask for your services (although I don't think you did).

WRT the rest of the post, she sounds like a pita tbh. Also cheeky agreeing to pay you, then sending that text, putting it on her DH like that.

I would stop doing her favours. I can't be doing with 'favours for a favour' thats not what friendship is about.

If her husband didn't think they should pay you, he should have vetoed the arrangement earlier. She agreed to pay you, so she has to pay you. Babysitting on NYE is different from sharing school pickups.

Take the money without any qualms. But try to avoid needing any favours from her in future, because it doesn't sound like this is an arrangement that you are actually happy about.

I can't believe you charged a friend either, seems so wrong.

"I said I normally charge £50 for the night on NYE."

ie She provides paid child care

To all the muppets who left their IQ in 2010.

YANBU she is taking the piss. She cannot go agreeing a price then negotiating it down to nothing after you have done the job for her. And I do think babysitting on NYE is a job, not a favour!

Totally agree AMumInScotland

If someone happily gives of their time to babysit for free, that's fine. But you made it clear you expected to be paid, and she agreed to those terms. Presumably she wouldn't have been able to get a free babysitter on NYE anyway - I can't imagine many being available and willing to do it for nothing!

YANBU. If she were to go to that sitters website, it'd cost her double what you originally were going to charge her.

FWIW, I think it's perfectly reasonable to ask for babysitting money, if not you, then others would expect to be paid to sit on NYE.

Babysitting charges are what you have to factor into any night out, especially on NYE.

I think she seems to have a history of taking the piss, and this crying to your friend, causing you to accept £30 is an example, as is then negotiating a payment plan for it while you are actually ON the job.

You told her upfront what the cost was. TBH you needn't have dropped to the £30, but it was a lovely gesture, given your friendship.

You told her that she had to be back by 1.30am, and less than an hour before that she was texting you to say you were going to get part payment. Unacceptable.

TBH, this is not going to be a friend long term, there is nothing going for this friendship, she has no respect for you, and your DC don't even get on.

NEXT time, tell her you are busy. If I were you I would let this friendship fade into dots

YANBU sounds like they ripped you off.
You both agreed what she was pay before hand so don't get the of some posters. If youhadn't had babysat for her yiu could have for someone else and made a lot more money.

So did she pay you? And what did they/you say when they got back?

Sorry I was unaware the OP was a professional childminder...that does indeed put a different slant on things

She is v.cheeky.

YANBU

And what narky said

YANBU

I would either have refused to babysit or done it for free, Money and friends don't mix, it created tensions. Either you wanted to help her out, as you said yourself you don't do New Years Eve, and it could have been a favour. Or you stayed at home with your family. Making money helping out friends seems wrong. Where do you draw the line?

My dd's are teens now but whilst they were growing up we often helped friends out and vise versa but I never remember any money passing hands.

Friend said she would pay OP when she asked.

I normal never ever charged friends and have done a number of nights/evening for her for free and tbh those that know me well know what sort of person I am, re being kind in nature. she'd said she would normally pay teenage babysitter, and could pay me. Yes I could have got other babysitting else where and yes Im qualified but dont do it normally as I have my own 2 SN kids to worry about.

Yes she gave me £20 last night.

'Friend' approached OP. 'Friend' Offered to pay.

OP stated her NORMAL rate for NYE was £50.

That is when 'friend' can decide NOT to confirm, or to say, that's steep/more than I thought.

The negotiated rate, between friend and her H was £15 a head. That's a round of drinks or a bottle of wine when out....

Well how good a friend is she??

I charge some friends for babysitting - friends who cant return the favour for me - i am a fully qualified nursery nurse with 10 years experience,a police check etc etc so i do baby sitting as an extra but i also have a couple of close friends who i will babysit and just call the favour back when needed and it works- yanbu to expect to be paid in full on the night this is what she agreed with u but perhaps call the favour back in sometime :D

YANBU

regardless of whether you should have charged her or not (this isn't what you are asking) you told her £30 and she agreed that means she pays. it's too late to text you when she is already out and tell you her husband isn't happy with teh agreement. that's her issue with him not you. she should pay.

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I don't think you will even see the remaining £10.

You were conned by this person. She offered, she diddled you, she is not a friend and her kids are badly behaved.

Kind of full house on that one isn't it.