to charge friend for babysitting on NYE?

[lisad123isasnuttyasaboxoffrogs]

Friend knows I dont do NYE and explained that she couldnt find a babysitter and would I be willing to do it for her, saying she would pay me. I said I normally charge £50 for the night on NYE.
A few weeks passed and via another friend I was made to feel very guilty that said friend couldnt go because she couldnt afford the £50. I then said I would do it for £30 as shes a friend but she needed to be back by 1.30am at that price.
All agreed, seemed fine
Babysat last night for her LO. One was fine but the other wouldnt go to bed till 11pm and was very rude to me.
12.40am I get a text telling me "remember I said I would pay you £20 tonight and £10 in the week", I replied I dont remember agreeing to that, but fine see you later. Then she texts and say "well my husband didnt think we should pay you at all because we are friends and help each other out!"

Now yes we do help each other out, with things like school pick ups and drop off or watching each others kids if needed. Now I never ask her to do this for me unless really needed and if I ask her she will always ask the next day for the return favor and normally not because she needs it but because she wants more time to self. She is always a favor for a favor type.
Anyways she has never had my children in the vening, only once when DH was rushed because to hospital. I have had her kids a number of evenings and never charged or been fussed about it, but she does tend to take the mick with things like arriving back 2-3 hours late or letting me continue to have the kids at mine when her dh has come home and gone out again when he could have come ad got them.

so sorry that ended up long.
I just dont know what to say to her next time. I tend to spend less kifds time with her as my dd1 doesnt really get on with her dd1 and they are in the same class.

I would never charge a friend for babysiting.

If you can afford to go out at all on NYE, when everything costs a bomb, you can afford £30. Really shameful weaselling on your friend's part. The arrangement was made and she should have stuck by it. Remember this for all future arrangements and stop doing favours.

mumeeee are you a qualified childminder who had other, more lucrative offers, though? I think that's an issue myself.

Plus she was asked to do this, she didn't volunteer, and cut her rates for the friend. I think said "friend" has the cheek.

YANBU

She knew the score before she agreed to it. Personally I would not offer to babysit anyone elses kids on nye, but then again I always have to look after my own so don't expect favours.

like others have said don't offer agian, let her find alternative arrangements.

Think her dh is very rude, how often does he babysit for free, especially on nye??????

YANBU If you normally charge for babysitting and could have worked elsewhere then that is your income. You weren't available to do it for free. My cminder is also a good friend but I would not expect her to babysit without paying her as that is her business and income. Also, she agreed it was for payment. I think she's really out of order.

I think saying her dh thinks this is a way of taking the focus off herself. It sort of inhibits you arguing the point with her because it's her dh who thinks this IFKWIM.

Im so mad right now, with her. I texted to ask when she would have the £10 she owes me, shes texted back weds, even though she would have seen on my FB that I want to take my children out today but have no money to do it :( She however has taken her children ice skating and bowling this weekend

i know :(

Ignore those who "would never charge a friend for babysitting".

In this situation not charging would be equivalent to handing over £50.

As it is you have in essence handed over £30 of your money to this woman, she is not acting grateful in the slightest, and she has promised to give you £10 of it back and it's not loking veyr likely.

Agree with Trillian.
If you were a self employed plumber/electrician etc you'd charge a friend to do work for them,you can't afford to do 'free' work all the time.
You may well charge 'mates rates' which is what you have done
DP and friends are plumbers/electricians and they do 'mates rates' for each other and other friends.
She's not your friend if she doesn't understand this.
You have a living to make and could have earned considerably more on NYE.

Exactly - if you were a plumber you might sort out a friend's dripping tap in your spare time.

You wouldn't turn down other work to do it.

Pretty awful for a 'friend' to do this. She ought to be embarrassed but suspect she has sufficient brass neck not to be.

As to whether you do any more reciprocal babysitting, it depends whether you value/need what you get out of it - don't cut your nose off to spite your face.

But never do NYE babysitting for her again.

When she next asks for a favour don't say "Sorry I can't", say "Sorry, I don't want to". You can persuade people who "can't" but it's very hard to move someone away from not wanting to do you a favour.

The clincher for me is that your dc don't really like hers very much. Very perceptive, kids.

I don't think YABU at all.

You said you charged £50, negotiated £30 and that is what she should pay you. Stuff the 'don't pay friends' brigade, I always pay my friends to babysit, especially at new year.

Shame to hurt a friendship like this, but is someone who takes the P out of you like this really a friend.

Money and friends don't mix. You should not have babysat her children. You should have told her that you needed a rest. Fwiw she doesn't seem to be a good 'friend'

I think I would have just ssked someone else or cancelled my plans if a friend had told me she would charge me for babysitting, but as OP's friend has AGREED to pay Op £30, £30 she should pay!

Lisad123, saddly I think that you will have to wavw the £10 off at the same time you wave this "friendship" goodbye.