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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that young children shouldn't be in the pub on NYE?

152 replies

chocolatebuttontheif · 31/12/2010 12:42

I single mum I know has put on Facebook that she's looking forward to going to the pub tonight to celebrate NYE with her DS(2.6)

I understand that everyone wants to go out on NYE but surely when you have DC's your priorities have to change. DH works in a pub and will be working tonight, and I have no intention of taking DS(also 2.6) out, he will be in bed at 8pm like he is any other night of the year!

Before I get flamed I'm not saying being a single mum makes her a bad mother or has any relevance, just that she doesn't have a DP to go out celebrating with, ANC obviously doesn't want to stay in by herself being boring!

Personally, i'm looking forward to some peace while DH is out, a glass of wine and turning up some curtains!

OP posts:
working9while5 · 02/01/2011 22:39

Ormirian, did you read my posts? I said that eating meals in restaurants and/or popping in for a polite beverage are fine; that having a drink in front of your child is fine but not being drunk.

No, far easier to patronise me on the basis of one mentioned fact. New Year's Eve is a night when most punters drink quite a bit and the premises are likely to be cramped. Not a place for kids.

Is your eldest son 2.6? Please do explain to me why it is acceptable and appropriate for a 2.6 year old to be in a pub on NYE?

To be honest, I would say that it would be more standard that the need to to go to a pub with a 2.6 year old on a very busy night is associated with problem rather than social drinking. Of course, because my father was an alcoholic, my views are invariably warped and hold no relevance to the discussion, yes? Much less than those of someone who is mates with a landlord and whose kid likes darts? That, my dear, is not the standard situation either...

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree · 02/01/2011 22:50

But not all pubs have the same clientèle.

I recently (well last year) spent an evening in a pub on an England World Cup night. The TV was on - showing the match. It was extremely civilised, not particularly packed and I didn't see a single "drunk" person (several tipsy but none obviously drunk).

Had I watched it in one of the pubs in the town centre I can guarantee it would have been jam packed, and full of lots of drunken idiots. (having had the misfortune to go for a "quiet catching up with a friend drink" on the night of a premiership match the year before)

I'm certain that the same applies for NYE.

I'd say that a lone parent wanting to spend NYE with company is rather normal as opposed to indicating any problem.

ninah · 02/01/2011 23:00

Speaking as a single mother here op, I'd really like to know ........what your curtains are like plain/patterned and if they are now hanging and if you got the bottoms straight as I find it a real challenge. thanks.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 02/01/2011 23:05

Hahaha
I would suspect nets
Easier to peer through and spot pissed single mothers dragging kids to pub Grin

working9while5 · 02/01/2011 23:09

Well, bowl me over with a feather. MN is full of surprises. It's entirely normal to bring a 2.6 year old to a pub to ring in the New Year. Not a chance it could be inappropriate. In the right company, I daresay it is much more beneficial to mother and bairn than, oh, not going to the pub til after midnight. Happy mummy, happy baby and all of that?

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 02/01/2011 23:16

IT DEPENDS ON THE PUB FGS
My very small, local village pub, frequented by old men and ramblers with dogs- fine
Pissed up townie pub, inappropriate
Simple.

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree · 02/01/2011 23:16

as has been said - it depends on the pub Hmm and no-one said it was "normal" - merely that it wasn't indicative of a "problem" with alcohol that the mother has.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 02/01/2011 23:19

It's like asking if it's ok to take children to a NY party.
Civilised adults and children, some drinking in moderation, party buffet-fine
Party in crack den- inappropriate

I can't understand why some people can't recognise the difference in venue/customers is crucial

working9while5 · 02/01/2011 23:30

To keep the child out until midnight? At 2.6?

I have been in many, many pubs. I have never been in one (regardless of how "civilised" the clientele) that I would deem an appropriate place for a 2.6 year old after 8pm.

There is a local pub frequented by two old men with a tv and a dog in the back room. Very quiet. Not much drinking. Still not a place for a 2.6 year old at night.

It really doesn't matter if everyone is sitting about knitting over their sherries, pubs are adult venues. Where are these pubs with appropriate facilities for toddlers? What do they look like? What would the 2.6 year old be doing at 11pm, say?

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 02/01/2011 23:37

What facilities does a 3 yo require?
Their parents, maybe a couple of other kids, a comfy chair, some colouring books?
How is it different to sitting in a bar/hotel/restaurant til late on holiday?

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree · 02/01/2011 23:39

is a house party (with alcohol and other children) acceptable for a 2yr old at 11pm at night?

DS3 (a little older at 3,6) was playing on the Wii at 11.40pm at one such party the other night. The friend has children - but no toddlers - so no "toddler" toys.

Chances are he'd been asleep in his pushchair at 2.6. Certain that's what my children have always done have they been out late at night at a young age.

If pubs are "adult venues" - how come so many let children in?

The OP didn't say "my LP friend with the drinking problem has posted to say she's going to go and get hammered at the nearby cesspit pub with her 2.6yr old" She said she was going to the pub for NEW YEARS EVE with her 2.6yr old.

Although actually having said that about my DS's sleeping with a band and a BBQ they're probably have still been awake eating and bopping to the music.

ninah · 02/01/2011 23:39

wtf happened to op and her curtains

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree · 02/01/2011 23:41

maybe she sewed herself into the hem???

ninah · 02/01/2011 23:42

btw I don't really do pubs but like the odd festival/houseparty/summer late night

working9while5 · 02/01/2011 23:48

Yeah, fair enough. You're all so right on and have remarkably flexible pants-of-judgement.

Pubs are just like family homes. They have plenty of space for kids to run around and are adequately babyproofed. Lovely quiet areas to sleep. Music at a suitable decibel level. I'm surprised Ofsted haven't suggested running childcare facilities out of them, to be honest, due to their wholesome childfriendliness.

What's the big deal? Children just need to sit down and be quiet and crayon for a few hours, like 2.6 year olds usually do when they are not blissfully asleep in their cosy pushchairs, oblivious to the considered conversation of their civilised parents over fine wines and reserve port in spacious, airy environments, rubbing wheels with the pushchairs of the elegant clientele.

I am just so old-fashioned, thinking pubs and toddlers and night-time are.. well.. not a fantastic mix. How outrageous to suggest that hiring a babysitter would be better! Rock on, parents and tots! Why stop at 12? Or NYE? Why not bring your tot to the pub every Saturday as long as it has the right clientele?

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree · 03/01/2011 00:21

My DS3 slept through 3 nights of several hours of Haven holiday entertainment - deafening decibels when he was about 1yr old.

.

There was a BBQ (ie food) and a band - music to dance to (if the kid didn't fall asleep before then) at a Village pub.

Get a bloody grip will you! It was ONE night - New Years Eve with food and entertainment laid on. Maybe she doesn't have anyone to babysit for her?

It's hardly going to hurt her for one night!

working9while5 · 03/01/2011 07:42

Wow. You are proud of exposing your kid to deafening decibels!

Get a grip? Because I don't agree with toddlers in pubs at night? Of all the things in life one could possibly object to, is this really one that requires anyone to "get a grip"? How inutterably pfb of me to think pubs are not places for toddlers at night, especially if there are, like, features like a band and a barbecue Hmm. I suppose it would be verging on the hysterical for me to suggest that if I were to head out to the pub away from my toddler, the last thing I would want to see would be pushchairs and sippy cups?

Jesus. I should check out a counsellor my views on pubs are so warped! I really did think that they were primarily for adults, perhaps based on the fact I have never actually seen a toddler in a pub at night. I have learned that this is because the establishments I frequent are clearly not exclusive enough.

Seriously? Why not bring kids out at night all the time?What's the harm if they sleep through? It's normal for their parents to want time in social company at night and apparently village pubs welcome them with open arms?

Original poster
chocolatebuttontheif · 03/01/2011 09:19

I'm still here, I finished my curtains and didn't manage to sew myself into the hem, although thanks for the concern Grin

I have heard that the pub in question was packed on NYE, therefore probably not 'appropriate', although I'm sure that wouldn't concern some of you.

I have to say I agree completely with working9while5, although my views probably don't count as they are also most likely 'warped'. I didn't spend a lot of time in them, although from the age of 10 my parents did used to put me to bed then go to the pub, leaving my 15yo brother in charge! He used to get stoned and let girls in, and let me watch late night TV and eat crisps Hmm

OP posts:
Ormirian · 05/01/2011 13:35

"Get a grip? Because I don't agree with toddlers in pubs at night? "

No, because you are starting to froth at the mouth Wink And you called me dear which I find a trifle unpleasant when said through gritted teeth.

working9while5 · 05/01/2011 21:49

No frothing here. Merely a slight amount of flabbergastation that it is considered so outrageous to be of the opinion that pubs and toddlers don't mix. I'm a pretty liberal, non-judgey type most of the time but this one I find hard to stomach. Can there be normal social interaction of the variety a young toddler can participate in and enjoy in pubs? Probably. At night-time in an cramped, busy drinking environment? I doubt it, really.

I found it a trifle unpleasant that you sideswiped my personal experience so neatly. You weren't really sorry at all.

skirt · 05/01/2011 21:54

We had a lovely night. Lots of adults, lots of kids. No drunks, no vomming, no lairy behaviour, listening to a band and watching the sea from the windows. Walking home along the beach at half 12 watching the fireworks. It was fab.

Ormirian · 06/01/2011 12:47

No, I genuinely am very sorry that you had an alcoholic father. Why would you doubt that?

upahill · 06/01/2011 13:21

Well my lads are older 11 and 14 and for the last few years they have come on a 'pub crawl' with me and Dh and a few other mates. We go to about 5 or 6 pubs and finish in a local. Either Dh or I won't drink so that we can keep an eye on things.
The pubs that we go to are the sort where everyone knows everyone and chats. Not the sort of places that get crowded or rowdy.

All the famlies are there for the countdown.

They are pubs where we had checked if kids were ok to come in and the landlord or lady has put on a buffet.

bronze · 06/01/2011 13:44

I assume the pub had a childrens certificate

upahill · 06/01/2011 14:03

Don't know about thatbut just go 2 pubs that are known 2 welcome families long before mine were born. We always check a few days before if in case there has been a change of policy.

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