To be getting more and more annoyed with MIL

[nextchapter]

Ok, this might be a long one, quite a lot of background so sorry!
Basically we had quite a large christmas, both mine and DH parent's plus his two brothers and their wives and my sister and her husband, 5 nephews and niece, aged from a newborn to 5, and DH's gran and they all stayed from the xmas day until, supposedly the morning of the 27th. However PILs, gran-in-law and DH's brother, his wife and two children are still staying with us, despite only living 20-30 mins away

I have four DH aged 6, 3 (DTs) and 7 month old, so obviously bedtime is something of a palava and we have devolped a routine that we are very strict with, we also the supernanny bedtime technique when they get up (its bedtime darling, its bedtime, and then nothing) The DC are normally very good and rarely get up however with all the room sharing we still have at the moment with their cousins, who are terribly behaved and appear to have no bedtime routine or indeed any bedtime, and the fuss of having guests we have had quite a few post bedtime appearance. However my MIL and DH's gran have been very dismissive of my routine over the past 3 and now 4 nights continually pulling the children onto their laps, saying they can stay up and opening crictising me, often in front of the children, about sending them to bed.

AIBU to think that they should learn to hold their tongues? And also go home!!

Am sending you Happy New Year wishes and the thought of !!!

Congratulations on surviving... thought my inlaws were clingy but you win...

They say going through battle together bonds people together - hopefully the same is true for you and your DH

Thankyou all so much for the happy new year wishes and messages of support. Sometimes you just need to be told you're doing the right thing. I know, I cannot wait for NY day at my parents...no cooking! Yaaaaay!!

Just had an evil thought - you could bill them for the extra days that they stayed (to cover the food they consumed) - that would make certain they never did it again! (evil)

Thank goodness you've got rid of them, I've been worrying about you.

I think MIL has rather blown it though, because you're never going to let them stay again, are you?

I can't believe BIL asked you to keep his children!

They all sound like a complete drain on your resources, both financially and mentally, and am in agreement with posters who have suggested that you move away and don't tell them where you've gone!

No room at the inn or stable next year!

i have been watching this whilst resentfully waiting for pil to arrive to stay here after 12hrs notice.DH is working late,i am 8 months pg and had a terrible attack of gallstones last night so knackered,house is in post xmas mess and no "real" food in the house.This is ongoing prob due to yet another spineless dh and i too have snapped.Have put clean bedding in room for them to make up bed and i will not be cooking for them as feeling sickly,and to take the opportunity to tell them (as dh cant seem to) that they will not be arriving here the day of my section and staying until the following monday.Please wish me luck fellow clingy pil owners im wimping out already.
well done op you must be feeling ecstatic.

ledkrs - did you have a thread about this a couple of weeks ago? Or am I confusing you with someone else?

Good for you - be as inhospitable as you have to. If your DH can't stand up for you, make him at least look after his own flippin parents, since you aren't in a fit state to do so! It sounds as though they are the type to want waiting on hand and foot as well, rather than pitching in and helping out.

Blimey... What a palaver... Can't believe you didn't start throwing things... Well done for getting rid, hope you have a lovely relaxed NYD after all that .

Oh, and instruct your staff to pad BIL's bill before taking off any 'discount' in future

Good luck with yours ledker.

It is so lovely having my home back, we have had a nice family walk and are about to snuggle up all together and get a takeaway, I am so sick of cooking. PILs what a NIGHTMARE. I have however took a vow that when my DSs marry, I will never ever be like my MIL and I will not raise backbone-less sons to be mummys boys...well not mummy boys passed the cute ages anyway!

Good for you nextchapter I've already told DH if I ever act like his toxic mother that he has permission to shoot me.

Pmsl @ bil

At least if they ever stay again you will know to be firmer with them about their going away date. The mistake was not making them leave on the 27th with the others. You should have made it clear the going home date was not negotiable and got husband to back you up. Expecting your washing done when just away for a few days is OTT. Different if children as they get themselves mucky quickly, or if you forgot to pack enough knickers etc.

They planned this, didn't they? To get back at you? Sniggering behind their hands to see who could push you over the edge.

Although i find it difficult to believe people could be this cruel, it's easier than believing they would really think it was not breathtakingly rude to treat you like this.

I'm so sorry. You have the rest of your life to try to have some kind of relationship with these people.

I'm also sorry to say that from this side of the screen it's been horribly amusing, in a Fawlty Towers kinda way.

Delighted to hear they've gone!

I ask MIL & BIL whose turn is it to host next year???????

How are you going to handle them for other visits? They sound awful

You are right 2rebecca and lessons have definately been learnt from these epic mistakes. I think we will give them a wide berth for a while, the after the dust settles maybe broach the subject tentatively as to not spark another argument/ridiculous behaviour.

I think we will definately be visiting them for quite a while, not vice versa. Its been so lovely and calm without them all here, FINALLY got some quality time with the kids, which they are loving and can actually relax.

you can at least say to them at the suggestion of staying again "your joking arent you?not after last time it nearly finished me off.

I know, it is just so annoying because christmas was actually lovely but this has just ruined it.

thanks for your advice everyone.madam,thats really good practical suggestions.i just need to get my assertive head on,

'broach the subject tentatively as to not spark another argument' you know, I think this might be your problem. Early on in the original thread I noticed that you had gone round to them after the initial palava about who brings what, so that there were no hurt feelings. Sometimes, if people take the piss, there have to be hurt feelings - or else things escalate like they have done.

You must be exhausted. Poor you.