To be getting more and more annoyed with MIL

[nextchapter]

Ok, this might be a long one, quite a lot of background so sorry!
Basically we had quite a large christmas, both mine and DH parent's plus his two brothers and their wives and my sister and her husband, 5 nephews and niece, aged from a newborn to 5, and DH's gran and they all stayed from the xmas day until, supposedly the morning of the 27th. However PILs, gran-in-law and DH's brother, his wife and two children are still staying with us, despite only living 20-30 mins away

I have four DH aged 6, 3 (DTs) and 7 month old, so obviously bedtime is something of a palava and we have devolped a routine that we are very strict with, we also the supernanny bedtime technique when they get up (its bedtime darling, its bedtime, and then nothing) The DC are normally very good and rarely get up however with all the room sharing we still have at the moment with their cousins, who are terribly behaved and appear to have no bedtime routine or indeed any bedtime, and the fuss of having guests we have had quite a few post bedtime appearance. However my MIL and DH's gran have been very dismissive of my routine over the past 3 and now 4 nights continually pulling the children onto their laps, saying they can stay up and opening crictising me, often in front of the children, about sending them to bed.

AIBU to think that they should learn to hold their tongues? And also go home!!

And don't invite 'em next year, contributions or no contributions!

Have just read your original thread. Is this a wind-up? if not, UNBELIEVABLE. I think you are being far too nice to them.

I know, absolutely worn out, and then they wonder why they are a nightmare! Deffo not a wind up! I only wish it was

Jeez, you should be in the New Year's honours list for putting up with them all for so long!

I hope they actually do go home tomorrow...

Tell them you're all going out for lunch tomorrow. Once they're on the way to the pub, 'forget' something and head back. Get all their stuff together and drop it at the pub.

Go home.

Nextchapter, I take my hat off to you for having so many people staying in your house for so long.

Just a little tip we found when staying with friends or having them with us - the children only shared rooms with their own siblings, never cousins or same-aged friends. This always worked the best for us in the past when the children were younger.

I really do hope you manage to get rid of the guests tomorrow. I can't believe the front and thick-skinnedness of some people.

Tell them you have other guests coming and they will have to vacate. Plans long been in place, things booked no way of cancelling.

My SIL kicked her parents out on monday instead of Tuesday telling them she "got her days mixed up" and her best mate was coming with her "'orrible loud children" on the monday afternoon, not tuesday. Could have sworn BIL told me they weren't coming til NYE.....

any update OP?
Hope they are loading the car up

I would hate this - on both sides, apart from a night or 2 I hate having people to stay, and I HATE staying anywhere else. You are a saint. Can't believe your MIL went home for more clothes - you don't get people you're staying with to do your laundry anyway, do you? Especially when there are so damn many of you? Did you not get your BIL's pants mixed up with your DH's??

They're making you pay for charging them the £50 - definitely!

Not saying that charging them was wrong, I think it was perfectly fair to ask for it but IIRC, they thought you were out of order??

Hope they're leaving today and remember to tell them you're going away next year. I'd say don't invite them but I seem to remember you didn't invite them this year and they invited themselves anyway!

This makes me mad! How cam anyone think you are unreasonable is beyond me

Your guests are being totally bloody rude and disrespectful and you need to tell them in no uncertain terms that what they are doing is not on

Next year if you invite them make it clear it is only for the day

No more overnights with their bloody shit disrespectful attitude

Poor you

When everyone is up, just say to the kids in earshot of everyone 'FIL said that they are all going home today, so remember and thank everyone for their gifts before they leave' or somesuch. Just to make sure!

Have they gone yet?!?

I can't believe their cheek. Nowt wrong with asking for a contribution, every year we host Xmas dinner (albeit on boxing day) and dad always pays for the food. Works well for us.

Do you mean you've been doing their laundry btw?

I think before they go you need to work out how far their £50 went to contributing to the Xmas food. Then make an itemised bill for the rest. Especially to replace the cushions, I am gobsmacked they havent already replaced them or at least offered!

Oh heck! You are a saint.

Have they gone yet?!?!

Turn the water off at the mains - say a pipe broke. Or stuff up one or two of the toilets - that will encourage them to shift...

you charged them £50 ?

in that case it has just backfired and they are getting their money's worth!!!

I would just go out with a mate and leave them all to it.

Chandon you need to read the previous thread to really understand the background !

Nextchapter I really feel for you ,I hope they go today with good grace,one wonders how long they would say if no one said anything ;Easter perhaps!

Can I just suggest, you sit your DH down after they have gone and tell him you are very disappointed that he let this situation happen that they stayed so much longer than they said they would.

Say you dont think you can ever trust they will only stay for as long as you planned ever again, and so while you're happy to see them at Christmas in future years, no one stays over at your house. And you'll sacrifice having a drink at Christmas so you can drive your family to one of their houses instead. And that it's his job to pass this message on to his family, because if you do it, you'll tell them they aren't welcome in your home again, and it might be more tactful coming from him.

Completely in agreement with Fake Plastic Trees.

Some of the blame has to fall on your husband for not making himself clear with his family.

I am still staggered that people can be so rude!

I do hope they are going today NextChapter. Maybe a group of Mumsnetters could turn up, with kids, just for long enough to get rid of them for you?

Where's the other thread? I'm gobsmacked even without the background - this is shockingly rude of them.

(also, with so many people staying and eating/washing etch, I'd say a £50 donation is a drop in the ocean)

sorry here